(1)Why do you want to marry me?
(2)So I can kiss you whenever I want.
(1)Why you wanna marry me for anyhow (2) So i can kiss you anytime i want!
(Tabby: So, did you cry? (Mel: Yeah, wouldn’t you? (Tabby: Are yuo kidding? One man for the rest of my life? I’d ball my bloody eyes out.
-Are you shittin’ me?
-You know, i have never understood that term. But no, i am not SHITTING you.
-Ya know–he went up there.
-Jake? When?
-About a year after you left. He doesn’t know I know, but Clinton let it slip once.
-Jake was in New York?
-He told Clinton he’d never seen anything like it. He realized straight off, he’d need more than an apology to win you back–he needed to conquer the world first–he’s been tryin’ ever since
-That’s why he kept sendin’ the papers back.
-Yeah
…Are you shitting me?…well i never really understood the term,shitting,but no im not shitting you!
…I mean you dont find your soul mate when youre ten, right? Whats the fun in that?
1) can i help you?
2) yah you can get your stubborn ass down ehre and give me a divorce.
1) are you shittin me?
2) i never fully understood that saying, but no i am not SHITTING you
1)But he signed the papers!
2)He did — you didn’t
1)Can he swim?
2)Doesn’t look like it.
1)Can he swim? 2)Doesn’t look like it.
1)Hi, I’m Jake’s snotty Yakee-bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce, even though I’m engaged to another man.
2)My God, Jake, look at the size of that thing!
1)I needed to make somethin’ of myself.
2)’Bout done?
1)I saw him first
2)I think he’s already taken
1)I’ll bet Kate could use a drink!
2)Oh, Kate could.
1)Now what’d I ever do to you? 2)You never did anything to me, darlin’, or to any other girl in this town!
1)Oh, why don’t you just go to a gay bar! 2)Now what would Bobby Ray do at a gay bar?!
1)Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce. 2)Are you shittin’ me? 1)I never fully understood that expression, but no, I am not SHITTING you.
1)What the hell is this? Chick food?
2)Light beer, less calories.
1)You know for something you’ve been holding onto for so long, you’re pretty quick to let it go. 2)I can’t control her, anymore than I can control the weather.
1. The law is the law and she has done nothing wrong. 2. I supposed shopliftin’ steaks from Winn Dixie’s okay. 3. Oh, Oh! I took ’em back and you know it! 2. What about that incident of vandalism in the stockyard…totally her! 3. Like I could tip a cow…by myself. 4. Wade, isn’t there some outstanding for whoever drove your mama’s tractor into the fishing pond? 3. OH! (Horrified look)
1. The law is the law and she has done nothing wrong. 2. I supposed shopliftin’ steaks from Winn Dixie’s okay. 3. Oh, Oh! I took ’em back and you know it! 2. What about that incident of vandalism in the stockyard…totally her! 3. Like I could tip a cow…by myself. 4. Wade, isn’t there some outstanding warrent for whom ever drove your mama’s tractor into the fishing pond? 3. OH! (Horrified look)
1. The law is the law and she has done nothing wrong. 2. I supposed showliftin’ steaks from Winn Dixie’s okay. 3. Oh, Oh! I took ’em back and you know it! 2. What about that incident of vandalism in the stockyard…totally her! 3. Like I could tip a cow…by myself. 4. Wade, isn’t there some outstanding for whoever drove your mama’s tractor into the fishing pond? 3. OH! (Horrified look)
1.) Well, how about you say ‘Hey there Jake, lookin’ good. How’s the family?’
2.) You expect me to say that you look good? What’d they run out of soap at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?
1.)So, who is this Melanie…Smooter? 2.)Ah, she’s a local hero ’round here. 1.)Really, and why is that? 2.)She blew up the bank. 1.)And that made her famous?! 2.)Well, notorious anyway. 1.)I’ll say… 2.)…Don’t know who was more shocked though, us, or the cat. 1.)What cat? 2.)The one with the dinamite strapped to it’s back. 1.)She blew up a cat?! 2.)Well, he was scheduelled to die anway. 1.)By dinamite? 2.) Cancer. We figured they were going to put one of those machines on him that suck all the air outta’ his lungs. Well, lil’ Mel just couldn’t bare the thought of that. Wanted something more humane. So one day, we snuck down to 45 where they were doin’ some construction; brang old Fuzz with us, strapped some tnt to his back and ran like hell. Then, we were sitting in the diner, looking pretty blue, when we see that damn cat trottin’ down the street. 1.)Oh no..! 2.) Yep, and we would have caught him too, but once that fuze hit his tail, he shot off and right into the building. 1.)*Laughs* Aw, man… 2.)Theory is though, that somehow he wiggled loose of the dinamite, cuz’ we still see him everynow and then. Walking around, his tail scorched and all. He’s a little skiddish ’round humans though.
1.)Why do you want to marry me anyhow?..2.)So I can kiss you anytime I want.
1: It’s funny how somethings don’t work out. 2: It’s funny how they do.
1: What do you wanna be married to me, anyhow? 2: So I can kiss you anytime I want.
1: You must be Jake’s hot date. 2: Who are you? 1: I’m Jake’s snotty yankee bitch of a wife who he refuses to divorce!!!
Andrew, it seems our Melanie has a skating rink on a very important finger!
are you kidding me,one man for the rest of my life? i’d ball my bloody eyes out!
Are you shiting me?
No i’m not shiting you. I never understood that phrase!
Aw, look at them two welded together. Why do they fight it?
Better Hold Onto These For The Honeymoon
bobby ray( to elton): come on guys just grab a stick and lets play some pool, and if you cant find a que just pull the one shuved up her ass (eveyone in tyhe bar laughs)
Bobby Ray: Now what did I ever do to you? Melanie:That’s just it, you never did anything to me darlin’, or any other girl in town.
Can he swim?…Doesn’t look like it!
Daddy!
Who are you lookin for darlin?
Earl Smooter.
5th Regiment! Anyone seen Earl Smooter?
He’s about to surrender!
Do we know…Mo?
Do you know…mo?
Don’t go acussin me of thinkin, I was doin nothin of the sort.
DON’T you hunnie me hunnie!!
Get Your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce!
Guy: I saw him first: Girl: I think he’s already taken
have a baby in a bar
Hay Stella make it a slow one.
hey cowboy!….you owe me a dance
Hey Cowboy, you owe me a dance. Nice dress. Where’s your husband? I’m looking at him, apparently you and I are still hitched. Is that right? Yeah. Why did you tell me you came to New York? I needed to make something of myself. ‘Bout done? What is it about you Southern girls. You can’t make the right decisions til you tried all the wrongs. At least I fight for what I want. Oh what do you want, Melanie? I don’t even think you know. You’re the first boy I ever kissed Jake and I want you to be the last. Maybe you and I had our chance. Fine! Have it your way you stubborn ass! Oh whatcha want to be married to me for anyhow? So I can kiss you anytime I want.
Hey if you’re a friend of the bride stick around, I’m gonna find me a groom!
Hey Jake, Mel would like to know where she can find some of that snooty-faluty glass.
Hey Stella make it a slow one.
Hey Ted, are you HUNGRY?!-Yeah, think I’m in the mood for a Mellanie sandwhich! Just like old times!-NO! NOT like old times! Okay? No more Mellanie Sandwhich…no more Mellanie taco…and no more Mellanie CORNDOG!
Hi honey! Lookin’ good. How’s the family?
Honey, just because I talk slow doesn’t mean I’m stupid.
Honey, just cause I talk slow don’t mean I’m stupid!
Hunni, just because I talk slow doen’t mean I’m dumb.
I dont ask you about your boyfriend, you keep your nose out of my life–deal?
I mean who finds their soul mate when they’re 10 years old? Where’s the fun in that right?
I’m going to ask you one more time, where’s the hide a key!
It’s funny how things don’t work out – It’s funny how they do
it’s what happens when lighting hits sand and you dig it up….
Jake: I still go down there sometimes. I watch these big thunder heads rollin in …. it’s like a religion……. You ever wonder what might have happened if we hadn’t gotten pregnant
Melanie: Jake-
Jake: Now let me get this out before I can’t. I thought that that baby would have been an adventure. And then I realized that it would have been your only adventure. I guess mother nature knew better huh?
Melanie: I was so ashamed. Because I felt….relieved. All of a sudden i just needed a different life.
Jake: She was an incredible girl.
Andrew: What happened to her?
Jake: oh you know, wound up pregnant. Married some loser right out of high school.
jake: you’re shittin me melanie: i’ve never really understood that expression, but no i am not shitting you!
jake:why do you wanna marry for somehow? melanie:so i can kiss you anytime i want.
melanie:don’t call me honey, honey!
jake: i thought that baby was an adventure for me. but it was your adventure. guess mother nature knows better. melanie: i felt relief, i was so ashamed.
jake:why do you wanna marry for somehow? melanie:so i can kiss you anytime i want.
melanie:don’t call me honey, honey!
Kate- You go after him you little bitch.
Pearl- No miss, there’s no need for name calling. She’s said her peace and that’s all there is to it.
Kate- Oh go back to your doublewide and fry something.
Lady, you look like sex on a stick in that Frederick Montana getup!
Laura Lynn: You know it’s funny how things don’t work out.
Melanie: It’s funny how they do.
Light beer-less calories
Look at you, you have a baby!…In a bar!
Loralyn: Yea…. It’s funny how things don’t work out.
Melanie: No….. It’s funny how they do.
Mel: What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t pick up after my husband? Jake: The kind that don’t live here!
Melanie: Andrew? You don’t wanna marry me.
Andrew: I don’t?
Melanie: No, no you don’t not really. You see I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.
Melanie: Hey cowboy? You owe me a dance.
Jake: Hey nice dress…. where’s your husband?
Melanie: I’m lookin at him. Apparently you and I are still hitched.
Jake: Is that right?
Melanie: Yeah. Why didn’t you tell me you came to New York.
Jake: I had to make something of myself.
Melanie: bout done?
Jake: What is it with you southern girls. You don’t even know what you want.
Melanie: You’re the first boy I ever kissed Jake and I want you to be the last.
Melanie: Hey there boy. Sorry it took me so long. I would have come sooner if I knew you were sick. That’s probably not true. I’ve been pretty selfish lately. Dogs don’t know anything about that do they though? You were always like a big ol’ pillow. Like when everything else went pear shaped you never left my side. And then I left you. I bet you sat there wondering what you had done wrong.
Jake: I told him it was my fault.
Melanie: Stop being so nice. Why does it have to be so complicated?
Jake: What?
Melanie: Life. This
melanie: i guess we all have a little secrets now dont we bobby ray. bobby ray: yeah we sure do…. of course i read all about yours on the internet! melanie: what? bobby ray: oh yeah i know all about the cocks in your hen house! melanie: god! ( melanie hits bobby ray in a friendly way) bobby ray! you sure know how to make a girl blush!
Melanie: I’m happy in New York Jake. But then i come down here and… this fits too.
Jake: Who says you can’t have both. You can have roots and wings, Mel.
Melanie: Now, what kind of a wife would I be if I didn’t clean up after my husband?
Jake: The kind that don’t live here! I am going to ask you this one last time, where is the hide-a-key?!
Melanie: The only reason you won’t sign these papers is because I WANT YOU TO! Jake: No the only reason i wont sign them is because you’ve turned into some hoytie toytie YANKEE BITCH and i’d like nothin better now than to PISS YOU OFF! (slams door in melanie’s face and can’t get the blinds to stay down)
Melanie:Well, for starters you can get your stubborn ass down here and get me a divorce.
Jake: (Drops piece of engine)
Melanie: Come on Jake I mean it. Look I even got these idiot proof tabs, theres a copy for you, a copy for me, and a copy for the lawyer.(looks over at Jake)WHAT!? SPEAK!?
Jake:You’re shittin’ me, right?
Melanie: You know I’ve never really understood the context of that phrase, but no, Jake, I’m not SHITTING you!
Jake:You come down here with not so much as a Hi Jake! Remember me, your wife? or a Hey honey, lookin’ good….-
Melanie: You expect me to tell you that you look good? Tell me, did they run out of soap at the Piggley Wiggley since I left?
Jake: Do they call that funny wherever it is you’ve been?
Melanie: You know exactly where I was!(Jake walks away)What are you doing?!?!
Jake: Leaving…You did it, you should recognize the gesture.
Melanie: JAKE!!!!!!(Runs to the door as Jake closes it)You just won’t sign the papers because you know I want you to.
Jake: NO! I won’t sign um because you’ve turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I’d like nothing more then to piss you off!
Melonie: Jake! you dumb, stubborn, red-neck, hick! The only reason you won’t sign these papers is because I want you to. Jake: Wrong! The reason I’m not signing your papers is because you’ve turned into this hoity-toity yankee bitch, and I’d love nothing better right now than to piss you off!!
my mind and my heart were telling me different things
Nobody finds their soulmate when their 10 years old, where’s the fun in that?
Oh go back to your double wide and fry something
oh go back to your double-wide and fry something!
Oh No, Bobby ray never did anything to me, or any other girl in town!!!!
oh why dont you just go to a gay bar!?
People need a passport to come down here
See, the truth is, I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and never really got it back.
she’s pulling your dick
So what do you wanna marry me for anyhow?…So I can kiss you any time I want!
Some say the almost ruined ones make the sweetest jams.
Sometimes what you’re looking for…is right where you left it.
that jaquelyn smith sure knows what shes doin. do you know jaquelyn smith?
That’s the thing about hiding keys it would be nice if your wife told you where it was. I’m not your wife Jake, I’m just the first girl that climbed into the back of your truck.
The only reason I ain’t signing is cause you’ve turned into some hoity toity yankee bitch and I’d like nothing more than to piss you off!!
The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, all of it, and I never really got it back.
this is one of those disaters where you know nothing, you know the big ones..that only cockroaches survive
What did she do?-She blew up the bank.-And that made her famous?-Well, infamous anyway.
What do you wanna marry me for anyhow? So I can kiss you any time i want
What is it with you southern girls? You can’t make the right decision until you’ve tried all the wrong ones.
What’s so wrong with being you Mama?
What’s with you southern girls? You cant seem to make the right decision until you’ve tried all the bad
Whatever blows your dress up, darlin’.
Where are them little magnets I had over here huh?!
Why do you want to marry me? … So I can kiss you whenever I want..
Why do you want to marry me?…So I can kiss you any time I want!!
Why don’t you just go to a gay bar?!
WHy dont you go back to your kitchen and fry something?
Why’d you wanna be married to me anyhow? So i can kiss ya anytime i want.
wow so this is what this feels like
Yeah, Lil’ Mel couldn’t bare the thought of that. Wanted something more human. So one day, they were doing some construction over on 45, we went down there, brang ol fuzz with us, strapped some explosies to his back and ran like hell.
Yes well, a plantation by any other name is just a farm. But it does roll of the tongue a little sweeter doesn’t it? *Walks around for a while showing off the house* …So they tried putting a loud of gunpowder underneath the ambells to try and give ’em more of a boost. But all it really did was manage to shoot ’em sky high for a few seconds. So, in honor of the great act of stupidity, we get together once in a while and show off to the public. *BOOM* 2.) The hell was that?! 3.) Hey!!! 1.) Oh…hey…grandpa! A reporter is here interviewin’ Melanie! 3.) Never heard of her!
You can have roots and wings Mel.
You can take the girl outta the honkytonk but you can’t take the honkytonk outta the girl.
You can’t have roots and wings.
You can’t ride two horses with one ass sugar bean.
You can’t ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.
You can’t ride two horses with one ass.
You can’t ride two horses with the one arse, sugar pea.
you design anything with stripes?
You don’t want to marry me. Not really anyway. You see the truth is, I gave my heart away a long time ago. My whole heart. And I never really got it back. Not all of it anyway.
You know us Southerners…I mean, the minute the Confederacy died it became a moral issue.
You know us Southerners; the minute the Confederacy died, it became immortal.
You married your cousin?? Melanie!
You ran out on a perfectly good cake!
you were the first boy i ever kissed jake and i want you to be the last
Young Melanie: What do you wanna marry me for anyhow?
Young Jake: So I can kiss you anytime I want.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Sweet Home Alabama’: Quotes from the movie ‘Sweet Home Alabama’