Tia Don’t give any Crap Maziy
Maziy I’m Telling You Said Crap
Tia Theres Noing Woung With Crap
Mazily Oh Really I was Thinking It Was A Swear
If the object of this game was to get the ball closest to the pin you would be champion of the world.
ThEy HaVe ReNt-A-sHoEs, YeAh AnD rEnT-a-FoOt DiSeAsE.
#1- I would just like to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet before I die. #2- I’ll get you a mouse and a piece of sheet metal.
#1-Where do you live? #2-The City. #1-Do you have a house or apartment? #2-Apartment. #1-Own or rent? #2-Rent. #1-What do you do for a living? #2-Lots of things. #1-Where is your office? #2-I don’t have one. #1-How come? #2-I don’t need one. #1-Where’ your wife? #2-I don’t have one. #1-How come? @2-It’s a long story. #1-Do you have kids? #2-No I don’t. #1-How come? #2-It’s an even longer story. #1-Are you my dad’s brother? #2-What’s your record for consecutive questions in a row? #1-38. #2-I’m your dad’s brother alright. #1-You have much more hair in your nose than my dad. #2-How nice of you to notice. #1-I’m a kid that’s my job.
(1)ever hear of a tune-up? heee heee heee heee
(2)ever hear of a ritual killing? knaw on her face like that again in public an’ you’ll be one….mheee hee hee hee.
(1)Hey! How ya doin?!
(2)Who are you?!
(1)I’m your Uncle Buck!
(2)Do I have an uncle?
(3)Unfortunately.
(2)He’s cookin’ our garbage.
(1)You have much more hair in your nose than my dad.
(2)Thank you for noticing.
(1)I’m a kid, that’s my job!
(Buck on the phone): Will you just let me-…I-…please-…but-…don’t…I-….
(Tia) My throat sort of hurts…I can’t…I can’t talk. (Pal) I gotta cure for that.
(Tia) No You Thank You Have shit (Maisy) Allright
(Tia)Mazie Did I Boss You
(Mazie) No But You Said the S Word 2 times but Only 1 time For Real
…and Felix, Felix was what we called your…
1) Ever hear of a tune-up ? he-he-he-he ! 2) (imitating)Da-hee-hee-hee-hee . Ever hear of a ritual Killer ?
1) Have you ever had anyone embarass you like this ? 2) (pause) NO.
1) WHere do you live? 2) IN the city . 2) You have a house ? 2) Appartment . 1) Own or rent ? 2) Rent . 1) What do you do for a living? 2) Lotsa things . 1) WHere’s your office ? 2) Don’t have one. 1) Howcome ? 2) Don’t need one . 1) You have a wife ? 2) No . 1) Howcome ? 2) It’s a long story . 1) You have kids? 2) No . 1) Howcome ? 2) It’s an even longer story . 1) ARe you my dad’s brother? 2) What’s your record for consecutive questions ? 1) 38. 2) I’m your dad’s brother alright . 1) You have much more hair on your nose than my dad . 2) How nice of you to notice . 1) I’m a kid :That’s my job .
1) You know what a hatchet is don’t you Bug ? 2) It’s an axe 1) Sort of yeah……….I got one in th car if youd like to see it . 2) I should get going . 3) He’s all talk 1) Here it is!!!
1.You know who I am?In the local live home entertainment I’M A GOD!!!!
2.Get in your mouse and leave
1: You know, I have a friend who works at the crime lab at the police station. I could give him your toothbrush and he could run a test on it to see if you actually brushed your teeth…or just ran your toothbrush under the faucet. 2: If that’s true we’re gonna REALLY have to start brushing our teeth.
>That’s a pretty stupid thing to do during flu season.>>I bet she’s getting the tongue.
A lot of people hate this hat. It angers a lot of people, just the sight of it. Ah, I’ll tell you a story about that on the way to school.
And the stock market had it’s best week since July. Take that, Karl Marx.
Buck: here kitty kitty kitty…WHO LET THE CAT OUT!? miles: we don’t have a cat! Buck: get out ow!!
Buck: Hey! How ya doin?!
Miles: Who are you?!
Buck: I’m your Uncle Buck!
Miles: Do I have an uncle?
Tia: Unfortunately.
Miles: He’s cookin’ our garbage.
BUCK: Is she always this pleasant?
MILES: No, she’s usually in a bad mood when she wakes up.
Buck: The deck’s stacked up in my favor. You’re just going to lose again.
Tia: Try me.
Buck: How’d you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out-of-work bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep? See you in the car.
Buck: Why did you go and blow all that makeup? We’re just going bowling.
Tia: I’m not going.
Mazie: They have rent-a-shoes…….
Tia: and RENT-A-FOOT-DISEASE
Bug: Ever hear of a tune-up? Hee-hee-hee-hee. Buck: Ever hear of a ritual killing? Hee-hee-hee-hee! Bug: I don’t get it. Buck: Gnaw on her face like that again in public and you’ll be one. Hee-hee-hee-hee!
Bug: Ever heard of a tune up? he he he. Buck(imatating Bug): ahe he he. Ever heard of a ritual killing? ahe he he. Bug: i dont get it. Buck: Knaw at her face in public like that again and you’ll be one. ahe he he.
Bug? What’s his last name, Spray?
But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re all good kids until dried-out braindead scags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece or any other kid in this school and I hear about it, I’m comin’ lookin’ for you. Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat knaw that thing off your face. Good day to you madam.
Cigar? No, thank you. OK, let me know…I’ll keep it nice and juicy for you
Ever hear of a tune up? Heh, heh, heh.
Ever hear of a ritual killing? Aheh, heh, heh.
Get in your mouse and get outa here.
Here it is (holding up a hatchet). Come on over. Maybe later. OK
Here’s a quarter. Now go down town and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face!
Hi, I’m Buck Melanoma, Moley Russell’s wart.
I can’t get enough cheese
I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job.
I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a ‘sillyheart.’ And I sure don’t want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I’m coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing [her mole] off your face! Good day to you, madam.
I don’t think I want to know
I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don’t want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I’m coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! …..Good day to you, madam!
I don’t use it to kill, no only to mame. Maybe shave a little off the knee caps.
I just want to hear the pitter patter of little feet.
Well, how ’bout if I get you a mouse and some sheet metal?
I wouldn’t in there with that hat if I were you.
I’m a kid…that’s my job.
I’m going to put my load in you
Do you have the full quote when Buck is wrestling with the washing machine?
I’ve got a brand new Bronco right out in the parking lot……RED.
In the world of personalized home entertainment…I am a God
is it too early for flapjacks
Isn’t peace wonderful?
its a hatchet .. not for killing just for maiming just take a ittle off the shoulder
just let…let….gi…no but…you do…would ya just…let…give me…let me get..let me git…your not…give me a…aaaahhhh.
Mazie,did I do anything bad?No,but you said shit twice.
Maziy My Uncle Was Micowaveing My Stuff And The Dog got sick for about in honer
Teacher Why Was your Uncle Micowaveing Your Stuff
Maziy Becuase He Can’t Get The goddamn washer To Work
Miles- i told you, she’s at a cheerleaders’ house for dinner. (shows up at a bare campsite) Buck-wow, they really are scraping the bottome of the bareels for cheerleaders these days.
Miles: You’re nails are digging into my arm GOD DAMMIT!!!!
Tia: Let the dog out.
Mazie: PARRRRRRRRRRRRRRSIE!!!!!! (Parsie jumps out of the dryer)
Miles:Would you like to talk about an impossible lunch trade?
Mother, what a lovely dinner, how do you find the time?
Oh before I forget, do you have a plunger?
Oh yeah…and Felix was the name for your-
People used to say I had it made… I had no boss, no wife… problem is no one says that no more.
Please,I wont need any money.I wont have any trouble cashing a two party out of town check would I?
Ring,Ring….Ring,Ring (1)Yaaaaa (2)Buck this is Bob.(1)Bob,Bob who?(2)A Buck its your brother(1)Bobby,Bobby ya hang on a minute(Buck coughing)clap clap clap hey Bobby I just used your Chrismas present oh the clapper Bobby you little pissan how you doin huh geeee what are you drunk? heh heh Hey I am real sorry about those bushes I had no idea they would all catch fire like that your right I should have never parked the Bar-Ba-Q that close. Buck Cindy’s father had a hear attack tonight we would like to get down to Indianappolis as soon as possible but we have a problem with th kids were stuck with somebody to watch them if your not doing anythin. This is ok this has her approval on it Oh Yea, oh thats great I mean I would be honored I mean I still have the one bedroom but I’m going to get a bigger place they can bring there toys over here we’ll make tents and stuff and get some peanut butter you know what I mean. Buck I thought you could come here the kids have school what was I thinking. Do we wanna do this tonight or in the morning tonight would be best if you can do it oh sure tonight will be fine that will be fine pack a few things I am on my way. Great see ya soon he can do it he was asleep and I woke him up huh at this hour hats a good sign were all set.
Stand me up today, and I’ll drive you to school in my robe and pajamas and walk you to your first class.
Stand me up today, I’ll drive you to school tomorrow in my robe and pajamas and WALK you to your first class.
Take this quarter, go down town, and have a rat knaw that thing off your face
Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face.
That’s not a very smart thing to do during flu season.
Tia: Are you crazy? you could have taken his head off!
Buck: Yeah but would he notice?
Tia:You were suppose to be here at ten,its not even nine yet.
Uncle Buck:Who said anything about that?I just thought you would like to join us for some ice cream.Maybe your bug can join us.We can talk about burying the hatchet.You know what a hatchet is don’t you bug?
Bug:Like an ax?
Buck:Yea, sort of.I like to keep mine with me in case..say a someone has been drinking and about to drive a loved one home.I like to know I have it.
I’ve been known to keep mine sharp enough to circumsize a nat.
Wait a minuite…..bug….nat?
Is there some similarity there?I think there is.
Do you understand what I’m talking about?I dont think you do.
You want to see it? I’ll be right back.
(Buck walks back to the car raises the trunk pulls out the hatchet and waives it in the air)Here is is!come on up and look at it!Ok maybe later!
Bug:I better go
Tia:He’s all talk.
Unbreakable plate!…
Uncle Buck’s got me bustin’ my hump…
What’s another name for balls?……NUTS
why i’ve been known to circumsize a gnat….wait a minute, bug…..gnat….is there some kind of simularity?
Would you like to talk about a possible lunch trade?
Yes Sir You Son Of A Bitch That Hurt i’m not sorry alright i’m not sorry for shit
You got both kneecaps?
You should have seen the toast, I couldn’t even get it through
the door!
You’re not a bug,are you gnat?
You’re not a gnat, are you Bug?
your nails are digging into my arm goddammit!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Uncle Buck’: Quotes from the movie ‘Uncle Buck’