If you fit into my pants I I will kill myself.
(1) OK, time to try an old trick. (2)Oh? And whats the trick? (1)Push it really hard **silence** (2)OK, Push. (1) I did.
(Jack): Lucy, I need to ask you a question.
(Grandma): Get down on one knee, It’s more romantic that way.
(Sol): He’s proposing, let him doit!
(Grandma): I am letting him do it!
– What good is a TV to a guy in a coma?
– Shhhh! He can hear you
– Then get him a radio
1) All right, Lucy, it’s either me or him!
2) Him.
1) You don’t have to answer right away.
1) Ashley!
2) Scumbag.
You’re engaged?
May I remind you that you proposed…to me?
1) You should know.
We broke up.
2) No, no, I was confused.
We stepped back.
1) You moved to Portugal.
2) Yes, well, well, I-I didn’t think you were going to run out and marry the first bimbo
that you came across!
1) Everything is better.
Everything looks better, feels better.
Even this chocolate peanut butter tastes better.
2) Good. It’s fudge mint.
1) Whatever. I’m reborn.
1) Get down on your knee! It’s more romantic.2)If he’s proposing let him do it!1)I am letting him do it!
1) He’s had a tough year.
You know, well, with the accident last month and all.
2) Mm. Accident?
1) Well, of course it was an accident. I mean, it wasn’t my……
Did he tell you it was my fault?
Were playin’basketball, all right? I carry a pencil, I’m a lawyer, I do that!
1) How you feelin’, champ?
2) I don’t know.
1) Hey remember her?
2) Should I?
1) Look closely.
2) She looks a little familiar. Why?
1) I think it’s coming back.
I think so.
2) What’s coming back?
1) Tell me. 2) tell me what?
3) Peter you have amnesia.
2) I do?
1) Peter, you’re engaged.
2) To who?
3) To Lucy.
2) Lucy.
Who’s Lucy?
1) You don’t remember, do you?
4) Excuse me. Got some Jell-O for you today.
2) Do I like Jell-O?
Yumm…
1) I think he’s had enough excitement for one evening.
1) I don’t want any flowers from you! I am not wearing black underwear!
And I definitely do not wanna move in with you J….
Jack.
2) Well, I don’t have any flowers.
I wouldn’t mind seeing the black underwear, but under the circumstances,
I don’t think we should move in together.
1) I thought you were Joe Junior.
2) I get that a lot.
1) I object to this wedding. 2) And I object to your objection.
1) I’m having an affair.
I like Jack.
2) Who’s Jack?
1)Peter’s brother.
2) So?
1) So he thinks I’m engaged.
2) To who?
1) To Peter.
2) Lucy I really don’t have time for this.
1) I’m not his fiancee.
2) Why did you tell me that you were?
1)I’m not engaged. I’ve never even spoken to the guy.
2)What?! Well, do-, downstairs, you said, you said you were gonna marry him.
1) Oh, geez, I was talking to myself.
2) Well, next time you talk to yourself, tell yourself you’re single and end the conversation.
1) I-I saw a picture of you, uh, when you saved the three squirrels.
2) Oh, They never call, they never write.
1) Lucy. Look, Arlette is sick and Celeste can’t switch because she’s got some big
family thing. And I promised my kids I’d be there for’em this year.
2) This stinks, Jerry.
1) I know it isn’t fair and I can’t make you do it.
But, Lucy, you’re the only one… without family.
1) Lucy?
Lucy who?
2) I don’t remember.
1) Liar!
2) I don’t remember proposing.
Well, I was in a coma.
I have amnesia.
1) Amnesia.
Oh, well, now that’s rich.
All right fine.
I want my stuff back.
2) Fine.
Then I want my stuff back.
1) What stuff?
2) Your nose.
1) You can’t take my nose back!
2) I paid for it.
1) Well, then, here! (grabs her boobs)
You paid for these, too!
2) Well, keep’em…
I’m a changed man, Ashley.
1) Go ahead! Go ahead and marry her, you one-balled bastard!
1) Maybe she forgot.
2) A woman doesn’t forget her wedding day.
1) Maybe she’s stuck in traffic.
1) Maybe you have a pair of pants I can borrow? 2) If you fit into my pants, I will kill myself
1) Mister Joe Fusco, Junior. He said that you were intimate.
2) Yeah, well he also said he invented aluminum foil. He’s delusional.
1) He was very lucid when I talked to him.
1) Oh, my God. What are you… What… What are you doing?
2) I slipped.
1) You’re trying on my shoes?
2) No. When I fell, my foot went…like that, right into the shoe.
1) Saul, where have you been?
2) What? I’m not allowed to go to the bathroom?
1) Saul!
2) I’m handling it!
I will tell them!
1) When? When?
On my golden anniversary?
1) Uh, uh, uh, ma’am.
Excuse me! E-excuse me, ma’am.
Uh, w-what apartment?
2) You’re new.
1) Yes, ma’am. What apartment?
2) I’m going to Peter Callaghan’s apartment.
1) A-,a-, and your name, please?
2) Ashley Bartlett Bacon.
I am Peter’s fiancee.
1) You’re not his fiancee.
2) Huh?
1) Huh?
1) Well, what was their reaction to the news?
2) I didn’t tell’em yet.
1) What d-,what do you, what do you mean, Saul?
What a-, now what about Peter?
2) Well, I didn’t tell him either.
I– I–
1) What? Saul, you said you were gonna handle this!
2)I’ll handle it.
1) This is handling it?
2) This is handling it. Listen…
1) Saul?
2) What?
1) You’re fired.
1) What about that other girl?
What’s her name? The one he met in the bar.
2) Ashley Bartlett Bacon.
1) All I know is she was pretty high and mighty for someone named after breakfast meat.
1) What the hell is going on?
2) I am in love with your son.
1) Uh, I know.
2) Not that one. that one.
1) What was it about him that, you know, first struck you?
2) It was his, uh, smile.
3) They’re caps. Six hundred bucks a tooth.
1) Shh!
1) What’s this?
2) It’s a wedding invitation.
1) Wait a minute! This is your wedding invitation!
2) So?
1) Whom are we marring?
2) Jerry, Peter Callaghan.
1) The coma guy?!
Are you insane?
1) Which one of the Three Stooges was Peter’s favorite?
2) Curly.
1) Curly! Hah!
He’s everybody’s favorite.
1) Who’s this Lucy?
2) She’s your brother’s fiancee.
1) You’d think if Peter were getting married, he would’ve announced it in the Tribune.
2) We read the Sun Times.
1- You suck.
2- I suck, or the outfit sucks?
1- It’s a toss up.
1-Doesn’t anyone use the phone anymore?
2-I do!
1-I’m not talking about 900 numbers
2-Who told?
1. How are things going with Miss Third Floor? 2 (sobs). Do you have any cookies? 1. Sure. I’ll even let you try on my shoes.
1. Ahh Peter’s a great guy. He’s had a tough year…you know with the accident last month and all. 2. Accident? 1. Well yeah of course it was an accident it–did he tell you it was MY FAULT? We’re playing basket ball, I carry a pencil, I’m a laywer I DO that!
1. God! even this choclate peanut butter tastes better
2. good. it’s fudge mint
1. Hey Luce…this guy bothering you? 2. No…no. 1. Are you sure? Cause it looks like he’s…leaning. 3. Thank you! See? 1. I’ll be right over here if you need me. 2. Okay thank you very much! 1. Hey–I know karate…
1. Lucy you’re a nice girl…Joe Jr.’s still single! 2. Yeah that’s a…shocker!
1. Sooo Lucy have you and Peter decided where you’re gonna go on your honeymoon yet? 2. I went to Cuba. 3. Ricky Ricardo was Cuban. 1. Didn’t Peter look great today? 2. Aww that kid. You know he should’ve been an actor. 3. He’s tall! 4. All the great ones were tall. 1. Lucy you think you can help me find a nice girl for Jack? 5. Ohh mom… 6. Well I don’t really know Jack’s type so I’m not one that um… 5. I like blondes…chubby ones. 1. Mmmm these mashed potatoes are so creamy. 7. You like brunettes… 4. John Wayne was tall. 2. Dustin Hoffman was 5’6. 4. Would you wanna see Dustin Hoffman save the alimo? 3. I could never make a good pot roast. 2. You need good beef. Argentina has great beef…beef and nazis… 1. Mmmm these mashed potatoes are so creamy 2. Alen Leb wasn’t tall 4. Marshall Dillen was 6’5 2. Ceasar Remero was tall. 3. Ceasar Remero was not spanish. 2. I didn’t say Ceasar Remero was spanish. 3. Well what did you say? 2. I said Ceaser Remero was tall. 3. Well we all know he’s tall. 2. That’s what I said, Ceasar Remero was tall, that’s all I said.
1. Tomorrow night, eight o-‘clock. 2. Huhh? 1. I got ice capades…I know I guy.
1: You’re trying on my SHOES?! 2:No, when i slipped my foot went in the *motioning*.
1:Ceasar Romaro was tall.
2: Ceaser Romaro was not Spanish.
1: I never said Ceaser Romaro was Spanish.
3:Mmmmm…these mashed potatoes are soooo creamy.
2: Then what did you say?
1: I said Ceasar Romaro was tall.
2: We all know Ceasar Romaro was tall.
3: Mmmmm…these mashed potatoes are soooo creamy.
1: That’s what I said!
1] I fell in love with your son 2] yeah, we know 1] not that son….. THAT son.
555-2415.
(1)How am l gonna put that on my insurance? They´re still pissed about the fire we had when Joe Jr. barbecued in the stairwell.
(2) l missed that one.(1) Oh, great sausage.
(1)Lucy, you´re a nice girl. Joe Jr.´s still single.
(2)Yeah, it´s a shocker.
(1)Somebody help me, please! Sir? Sir? Sir? Are you okay?
Can, can you get up? God, sir, this is not good.
Oh, god, mister, um, can you…
Are you breathing? Oh, god, you smell good!
Please wake up. Please. Please. Oh, god.
Can you wake up? Can you hear me? Oh, god! Wake up!
Somebody help me please!
Mister? Mister! There´s a train coming and it´s fast.
lt´s an express!
(1)What do you have?(2) Oh, the usual.
(1) What´s that?(2) Mustard. Coke.
Ashley: I object to this wedding!
Priest: Get in line.
Elsie: I don’t drink anymore… I don’t drink any less, either!
Elsie: I like Mass better in Latin. It’s nicer when you don’t know what they’re saying.
Jack: You suck!
Peter: I suck, or the outfit sucks?
Jack: It’s a toss-up.
Jerry: Saul? Who’s Saul?
Lucy: He’s the next door neighbor. But you know what? Actually, he knows.
Lucy: It’s just…I never met anyone I could laugh with. You know?
Lucy: You don’t have to walk me home.
Jack: You block the wind.
Midge: So, Lucy, have you and Peter decided where you’re gonna go on your honeymoon? Hm?
Saul: I went to Cuba.
Elsie: Ricky Ricardo was Cuban.
Midge: Didn’t Peter look great today?
Ox: Aw, that kid. You know, he should’ve been an actor. He’s tall.
Saul: All the great ones were tall.
Midge: Lucy? Do you think you can find me a nice girl for Jack?
Jack: Oh, Mom. come on.
Lucy: Well, I-I-I-I really don’t know Jack’s type, so I am not one to, um…
Jack: I like blondes. Chubby ones.
Ox: Alan Ladd wasn’t tall.
Saul: Marshal Dillon was six foot five.
Lucy: Oh.
Midge: Well, we all know who Lucy’s type is. Mmm. These mashed potatoes are so creamy.
Mary: You like brunettes.
Elsie: I could never make a good pot roast.
Ox: You need good beef.
Saul: Argentina has great beef.
Ox: Beef and Nazis.
Saul: John Wayne was tall.
Ox: Dustin Hoffman was five-six.
Saul: Would you wanna see Dustin Hoffman save the Alamo?
Midge: These mashed potatoes are so creamy.
Ox: Spain has good beef.
Midge: Mary mashed ’em.
Saul: Caesar romero was tall.
Elsie: Caesar Romero was not Spanish.
Saul: I didn’t say Caesar Romero was Spanish.
Elsie: Well, what did you say?
Saul: I said Caesar Romero was tall.
Elsie: We all know he’s tall.
Saul: Well, that’s what I said. Caesar Romero is tall. That’s all I said.
Priest: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to–
(The Bride)Lucy: I object.
Saul: Oh, geez.
Priest: I didn’t get to that part yet.
(The Best Man)Jack: I would have to object too.
Priest: What about you?
(The Groom)Peter: I’m thinking!
Jerry: Whom are we marring?
Lucy: Jerry, Peter Callaghan.
Jerry: The coma guy?! Are you insane?
Lucy: Yes, Jerry, I’m insane. Everyday I go and I sit in a booth like a veal. I, I work every holiday, I go home to a cat. And now a rich and handsome man has asked me to marry him, and I have said yes. Okay, okay, that makes me a raving, total lunatic!
1: Doesn’t anybody use a phone anymore?
2: I do.
1: I’m not talking about 900 numbers.
2: Who told?!!
Ah, i was going to marry that man
And who are you, Jack, the happiness guru?
Are you wearing the black bra? I LOVE black underwears!
Do I like Jello?
Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don’t, you’re probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person *really* knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that YOU were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven’t even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?
Don’t ask me, ask her boyfriend–Joe Fusco.
Forty-five dollars for a Christmas tree and they don´t deliver?
You order $10 worth of chow mein from Mr. Wong´s, they bring it to your door.
Give me one good reason why I shouldnt marry your brother.
Go ahead and marry her you one balled bastard!
He would take me to the church where they got married and l´d beg him to tell me more about the ceremony and about my crazy Uncle lrwin who fell asleep in the macaroni and cheese.
Here kitty kitty,kitty kitty kitty.
There you are….Fluffy.
Hey Luce…nice uhhh……..sweater.
Hey Pop! Can I give this bottle of Blue Nun to my parole officer?
Holy Buckets Peter!
I couldn’t love you anymore if you were my own son. But the fact of the matter is, you’re a putz!
I don’t drink anymore… I don’t drink any less, either!
I got ice capades!!!
i love black underwears.
I should have gotten the blue spruce! They’re lighter!
I want you…not to be unhappy.
I’ll have the usual
I’m a lot like my dad: brown hair, flat chest.
I’m sick?!?! You’re cheating on a vegetable!!
I’ve had a rotten Christmas, you’ve just managed to kill my New Year’s. If you come back on Easter, you can burn down my apartment.
I’ve never been faithful to a women
If you fit into my pants I think I’ll kill myself.
It’s amazing how exotic Wisconson… isn’t.
Jack: I cut the deck, high card gets Lucy……. Ok, we’ll do the best out of three.
Joe Jr.: O.K., Lucy, it’s either me or him!
Lucy: Him.
Joe Jr.: You don’t have to answer right away.
JOE Sr:You know Lucy Joe Jr’s still single? Lucy: yeah, shocker
Look at the bright side. He has more room in his jockey shorts.
Lucy: Nice coat! Merry Christmas to you, too! You’re Beautiful! Will you Marry me? I love you!
Lucy: You’re sick. Jerry: Oh, I’m sick? You’re the one cheating on a vegetable.
Nature of claim: Christmas tree through window.
Oh hello honey….FLUFFY!
Okay, there are two things that l remember about my childhood.
l just don´t remember it being this orange.
Peter once asked me when I fell in love with Jack. And I told him. It was while you were sleeping.
PETER) I’m making a clean start with Lucy.
She is…she is…she….
What is she? She’s….
JACK) I’d say that she gets under your skin as soon as you meet her.
I mean, she drives you so nuts you don’t know whether to hug her or, or just really
arm wrestle her. She would go all the way to Europe just to get a stamp in her passport.
I don’t know if that amounts to insanity or just being really, really…likeable.
PETER) No, that’s not it.
Peter: Ashley?!
Ashley: Scumbag?!
Peter: You remind me of someone, it’s probably you.
Policeman: She saved his life. Mom: You saved his life? Dad: I thought you said he was pushed off a train platform. Policeman: She jumped on the tracks. Saul: Jumped on the tracks?
Remember the squirels I saved as a kid? First I knocked them out of their nest with a rock, then I saved them.
So, I had planned to marry Peter, but I married Jack instead.
Thank goodness my father was right. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you plan.
But Jack, Jack gave me the perfect gift a stamp in my passport.
He took me to Florence for our honeymoon.
I guess you might say, he gave me the world.
Peter once asked me when it was that I fell in love with Jack.
And I told him, it was while you were sleeping.
sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way you plan
The truth was that I fell in love with you. Yes, all of you. I went from being all alone to being a fiancee, a daughter, a grandaughter, a sister, and a friend. I may have saved your life that day, but you really saved mine. You let me be a part of your family. I haven’t had that in a really long time.
These mashed potatoes are so creamy
These mashed potatoes are so creamy.
Ugh! I don’t want any flowers, I’m not wearing my black underwear and i definitely don’t want to move in w/you J..Jack. Well I don’t have any flowers, i wouldn’t mind seeing your black underwear but under the circumstances i don’t think we should move in together. I thought you were Joe Jr. Ugh! I get that a lot.
Uh,we’re in the estate furniture business. We buy furniture from dead people.
Well, the next time you talk to yourself, tell yourself you’re single, and end the conversation.
When I told my mother I was going to marry my wife, her intestines exploded. If you tell them now, you might as well shoot gradma
Wherever would I be.
Who made you the Pope?
Yeah, well he also claims he invented Alluminum foil. He’s dillusional!
You have Amneeeesia !
You know what? I’ve had a really bad Christmas, you’ve just managed to ruin my New Year, if you come back at Easter, I’ll let you burn down my appartment.
You might have said he gave me the world.
You okay Luc? ‘Cause it looks like that guy is leaning?
You’re born into a family. You do not join them like you do the Marines.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘While You Were Sleeping’: Quotes from the movie ‘While You Were Sleeping’