(Reads the price tag on a dress). It’s $6000. It’s not even leather!!!
#1. Maybe now would be a good time for you to tell me what you expect of me.
#2. I expect you to call me Tess. I don’t expect you to fetch me coffee unless you’re getting some for yourself….and the rest we’ll just make up as we go along, ok?
(Mick)
Tess, will you marry me?
(Tess)
Maybe.
(Mick)
That’s an answer?
(Tess)
You want another answer, ask another girl.
(Mick) Tess. This is not what it looks like. I mean, it is what it
looks like, but I can explain. Well, not exactly explain….
(Tess)
You snake!
(Mick)
Come on, Tess! I’m sorry! I really am! I love you! Come on!
Come back and hit me! Please!
–How did you get the scar?
–Some guy pulled a knife in Detroit.
–Really?
–No. No, I was nineteen and I thought it’d be cool to have a pierced ear. My girlfriend stuck the needle through and I heard this
pop and fainted and hit my chin on the toilet.
–You know, maybe I just don’t like you.
–Me? Naaah!
–You’re the first woman I’ve seen in one of these things that dresses
like a woman. Not like a woman thinks a man would dress if he was a
woman.
–Thank you, I guess.
1) Don’t get too used to those long lunches, Tess. They’re letting
me go a week from today.
2)
A week from today? Isn’t that a little faster than you thought?
1)
Well, the doctor says I’ve got great bones. Of course, his
aren’t too bad either!
1) I consider us a team Tess,
and as such we have a uniform: simple, elegant, impeccable.
‘Dress shabbily, they notice the dress. Dress impeccably, they
notice the woman.’ Coco Chanel.
2)
Um, how do I look?
1)
You look terrific. You might want to rethink the jewelry…
1) I woke up in my underwear! 2) I’m sure you looked very nice. 1) Did you get me that way? 2) Yeah, but I kept my eyes closed the whole time. Well,I may have peeked once.
1) I’ve never worked for someone who is younger than me before. Or
for a woman.
2)
Well, there’s a first time for everything. That’s not going to
be a problem, is it Tess?
1)
No.
2)
Good. Why don’t you pour us a couple coffees and come on inside.
I’m light, no sugar.
1) Just one thing. Was you and me just part of the…scheme, too?
2)
No! Look, if I told you I was just some secretary, you never
would’ve taken the meeting. I mean, think about it. Maybe you
would’ve fed me a few drinks and then tried to get me into the
sack. End of story.
1) Katherine, it’s really not a good time to talk.
2)
You’re right. Can Big Jack come out to play?
1)
Kath! Little Jack really has to get going.
2)
Little Katie’s been soooo lonely.
1) Nothing happened. Nothing happened.
2)
I woke up in my underwear.
1)
I’ll bet you looked nice.
2)
Did you get me that way?
1)
I, uh, I took off your shoes. I took off your dress. I put you
on the bed, and I kept my eyes closed the whole time.
2)
And that was it?
1)
I might have peeked. I don’t remember. Look, I don’t have all
day to hang out here and discuss your sex life.
1) Oh, shoot me, just shoot me!
2)
Would you cut that out? They didn’t throw you out, did they?
1)
Oh! Well, they don’t exactly have bouncers, you know. They’re a
little more subtle than that, Cyn
1) Oh…Tess! It’s me! I’m back! Thanks! Oh! Oh God!
2)
She took a muscle relaxant for the flight down.
1)
Oh, let’s all have one, shall we?!
2)
I don’t think so.
1) Please? Please. One drink.
2)
Okay, one drink. But I’m buying.
1)
Okay, but it’s an open bar.
1) There’s no paper!
2)
What?
1)
There’s no goddamned paper in this stall! Get me some!!!
1) Well, it’s not exactly lunch, but there will be food there,
though.
2)
What’s the story, Tess?
1)
It’s his daughter’s wedding.
2)
That’s the meeting?
1)
Well, it’s the perfect opportunity. He’s happy, he’s had a
little champagne, we look for an opening. Trust me.
2)
What are we supposed to do, jump out of the wedding cake?
1) What did you do, snatch her invite?
2)
Well, she can’t use it. Besides, it’s important for me to start
interacting with people, not as a secretary.
1)
But as a total impostor! Right.
1) Why did you say you
weren’t you last night?
2)
Because I knew what would happen. All Mergers and Acquisitions.
No lust and tequila.
1)It was my birthday, a couple of days ago. 2)Well, no kidding. Mine’s next Tuesday. How old? 1)Thirty. 2)I’m going to be thirty next Tuesday. We’re practically twins!
And get your-What was it you called it? BONEY ASS- out of here.
can big jack come out to play?
Can I get ya anything? Coffee? Tea? Me?
Can little Jacky come out and play? Little Katie’s been soooo lonely!!
First of all, look me in the eye and tell me you’re not thinkin’,
even in your wildest dreams, Mister Briefcase-let’s-have-lunch
there is gonna take you away from all of this.
Here. This is for you. Peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, milk money, twinkies, pen, pencil, ruler, apple for the teacher. Play nice with the other kids. Make sure you’re home before dark.
Hey, Cyn. Guess where I am.
Hey, it wasn’t me poppin’ Doreen DaMoochie in our bed, ok?
I am not steak! You can not just order me.
I am not steak. You can’t just order me.
I have a head for business and a body for sin.
I’d love to help you, but…we can’t busy the quarterback with
passing out the Gatorade!
I’m not steak. You can’t just order me
I’m not sure what you mean about butterflies in my stomach, but I think its nervous knots.
I’ve made it clear that I am open for an offer, I’ve cleared the month of June and I am, afterall, me.
If you want to be taken seriously, you gotta have serious hair.
It needs some bows or something.
It’s like paradise with little gold palm trees.
Just because I sing and dance in my underwear it doesn’t make me Madonna.
Let the river run.
Never burn bridges…today’s junior executive, tomorrow’s senior partner.
No, I’m trying to make it better! I’m not gonna spend the rest
of my life working my ass off and getting nowhere just because I
followed rules that I had nothing to do with setting up,
okay?!
No, no. You look good. Classy. What, did you have to go to
traffic court or somethin’?
No. No names. No business cards. No ‘You must know so and so.’
Nobody’s trying to bury you under a little piece of tape.
Nothing happened. Nothing happened!
six thousand dollars? it’s not even leather!
Some guy pulled a knife in Detroit.
Sometimes I sing and dance around my house in my underwear. Doesn’t make me Madonna. Never will.
Sometimes I sing and dance around the house in my underwear. It
doesn’t make me Madonna. Never will.
tess, who makes it happen?
TESS: You never now where big ideas can come from. LADY: I guess-if dumplings can be considered a big idea.
That…little….slut!
That…goddamn little bitch…secretary!
Three nights ago, I find you in bed with Doreen. We barely have
a drink and a dance and then, boom! You want an answer about the
rest of my life!
tick tock, tick tock, my biological clock!
todays junior prick, tomorrows junior partner.
Valium. In the convenient economy size.
Whaddaya need speech class for, ya tawk fine.
what are we supposed to do? jump out of the wedding cake?
Yeah. I should’ve checked the milligrams. Live and learn.
You know Mick, just once I could go for like a sweater or some
earrings, you know? A present that I can actually wear outside
of this apartment.
You look terrific, you might want to rethink the jewelery.
you might want to rethink the jewelry.
you snake!
You’re like one of those crazed cops, aren’t you? The kind
nobody wants to ride with! Whose partners all end up dead or
crazy.
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