Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Fred Thompson announced today that he’s quitting the Presidential campaign. Here is his drop out announcement speech he gave to break the news he’s quitting the race.
Howdy. I’m gonna make this short and sweet. Let me tell you all, I have worked harder than I’ve ever worked in my life these last weeks. I gave it 110 percent, for two, sometimes even three hours a day most days. And when that wasn’t enough, I doubled it a couple of times! I missed more football games than a man should miss, and gave up some damn good fishing, which it’s gonna take me months to make up.
When I decided to run for President, or as some of you have joked, when I decided to walk for President, it was not to fulfill a personal dream. It was to answer the call of my wife- I mean, my country. You can only straddle the fence so long before your hide starts to get chapped. And I assure you, the rumors that I only ran because my trophy wife said it was either that or the couch are not all that true. I ran to answer the call of my country. But my country seemed to stop its damn calling, right about a week after I made my announcement. I wish you people would have made up your mind. Run. Run. Run. On second thought, Never mind. We like the old guy, the preacher, and the zillionaire.
But I’m not bitter. Just ready to catch up on my napping and fishing. I want to thank everyone who supported me, and let you know that I still intend to serve my country, even though it might look a little different than sitting in the oval office all day, with my feet on the desk, smoking cigars. I’ll be going back on the show again, and serving the country by helping you forget all about the economy and all that confusing foreign policy stuff and all, by entertaining you.Â
Thanks again everybody. I’m gonna disappear for a few weeks and catch up on slowing down. But you’ll see me on the show next fall, and also I have a couple of movie parts lined up for the summer, which woulda made it hard to really focus full time on Presidenting anyway.
All right boys, that’s it for now. I got a golf game to go catch. Then I think it’s probly just about damn time for nap.
Page topic: Fred Thompson’s Announcement speech that he’s dropping out of the race. Â
Satire   (C) InnocentEnglish.com
If it is true that Fred Tompson is quitting the presidential race, lots of people are going to be sad, including many of the Reagan Democrats.
Many people, especially here in the south western part of Ohio, have been waiting for Fred to really come out of the woodwork. Many of us here do not want McCain, Romney, Rudy, or Shuckabee. Tompson was our man. Many of us were waiting for him to really stand up and speak from his heart. If Fred did that, he really would have went far.
Some of us liked Shuckabee at first. But when he said the government needs to be more involved in our lives, we got pretty ticked off. The government does not need to be more involved in our lives. The liberals love this guy. The liberals know he will lose too. To me, he is a fundamentalist, and a liberal.
Rudy needs to talk more about how he really turned New York City around, prior to 911. We all know he did well on 911.
Romney is for show only. I do not like his stance on issues regarding Iraq.
McCain voted for amnesty, to forgive all of the illegal aliens for breaking the law, and to cut them a break. I don’t think so!! My grand parents and some of my friends, came into This country the right way. I know we can’t gather the millions of illegal aliens that are already here, reaping the benefits of medical, money and food stamps and possibly social security (in the very near future if Congress has their way)and throw them all back into Mexico. We have legal citizens including vets that are homeless (which McCain does support our vets) here in the US that cannot get help with food, money or medical benefits because our system is so screwed up in helping the illegal aliens. They eat better than I do and I haven’t seen a skinny one yet! And my medical premiums went up (partially) because of the illegal aliens bleeding the medical system. McCain better figure out a solution to this problem. And by the way, English is the #1 language in the US. Learn it or leave!
As for the rest of the candidates, I really have nothing to say. I really don’t think there is anyone else out there, on both sides, that would really be a good leader for My country.