Daily Quick Break: January 4, 2008: Top 50 Woody Allen Quotes and One Liners

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Woody Allen has over 40 years of great quotes, jokes and one liners, so there can be no definitive list of the top 50 Woody Allen quotes. But this is a pretty good attempt at rounding up 50 of the best and funniest Woody Allen quotes, jokes and lines from his movies and books. 

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
– Woody Allen

I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
– Woody Allen

 On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
– Woody Allen

 Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.
– Woody Allen

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
– Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
– Woody Allen

The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife – a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also thereis the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it’s being held.
– Woody Allen

To read the rest, go to: Top 50 Woody Allen Quotes and One Liners

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