Innocent English

Here’s another good inspirational story: The Little Raggedy Girl There was once a little raggedy girl who lived with her widowed mother in what could only be charitably called a shack, just outside of town. She had few clothes to wear and those that she had were worn and patched in many places. She...

I don’t want to die for Korea. What do I care for this stinking hill? You wanna see where I live back home? I sure am sure I ain’t gonna die for that. I thought the war was all over with. Pork Chop Hill is in North Korea now, but those who fought there know for what they died, and the meaning of...

Bess, oh where’s my Bess? Bess, you is my women now. Gone, gone, gone. I got plenty of nuttin’. I loves you, Porgy. It ain’t necessarily so. My man’s gone now. Oh, heav’nly father. Oh, I can’t sit down. Oh, Lawd, I’m on my way. Strawberry woman. Summertime. There’s a boat dat’s leavin’ soon for...

(1) A genuine hamburger for the gentleman. I’m buying. (2) Gee, thanks. (3) Who’s paying? (1) I’m buying, he’s paying. …plus one sunflower embarassing the tax collector tax. Ah ha, let’s see here, that’ll be twenty-five cent docking tax. And I got alot of muscles, and I only have one eye,and I...

…and now the new one by Pootie Tang called . 1)Pootie, do you have any girlfriends at school? 2)Aww Mommadee, there’s a sine tibbity in a taxy. She’s a cole tony. (SMACK!) Don’t you talk dirty to your momma, boy! As he grew, everyone noticed something funny about the way Pootie would talk. It...

(1) Even if you win you can’t win. (2) What do you mean ‘even if I win I can’t win’? What’s that suppose to mean? I don’t understand (1) Yo, where’s Tang? (2) Uh, the last time I saw him he was adopted by a twelve year old boy (Johnny)so let me get this straight because we are friends that makes us...

Angry? That car is pissed! Diiiiiannne Dogs shed God is in his holy temple, earthy thoughts be silent now…. there bacccckkkk They’re ba-a-ck! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? STEVEN STOP IT STOP IT You’re gonna die!!! Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Poltergeist II: The Other Side’: Quotes from the movie...

1) What are you doing? 2) I’m going in after her! 1) She won’t go to you. I’m her mother, I’ll go! 2) You’ve never done this before! 1) Neither have you! 2) …You’re right, you go! 1)Help me tie this around my waist. 2) What do you think you’re doing?! 1) I’m going in after her! 2) She won’t come to...

death comes unexpectedly!!!!!!!!!!!! Girl: Do you like being a minister? Minister: What kind of a question is that?Girl: I asked my father that once–he was a minister too you know.Minister (eagerly): What did he say?Girl: He said he liked being a minister, but it made him sad when people wouldn’t...

(1) What is the most frustrating thing about police work? (2) Not being able to carry hand grenades, sir. (3)Separate locker rooms, sir. (4) Icky blue uniforms. 1) Tack, how about letting me squeeze off a couple rounds of that baby? 2) Affirmative, Mrs. F. 3/4) Tack? 2) Watch out there, it packs...

1) In America, talk is cheap 2) Oh, I love America! Grab a pen and listen carefully, because the Lurrve Doctor is about to speak I’m gonna ride across their turf, and blow the place to kowasakis!!!!!!! In America, talk is cheap. Look, I didn’t come here to get hit on a guy who looks cute in a blue...

1)Now can anyone tell me how this happened! (holds up hairy hands). 2)I don’t know sir, but if you don’t stop you could go blind. I hope this doesn’t get too akward, Sir. I already heard what you said about my little butt. If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine! Ok, it’s a T-40 replica gun from...

(At the barber shop) Just a little on the sides. You can do that?! Yup. This ain’t the army. (Looking at 2 guys with crew cuts) Nice haircuts men,…..Damn good haircuts!!! 1)Excuse me sir. I seemed to have ripped my pants. 2)You run don’t walk to the supply depot and get a new pair....

I like fuzzy things. Like peaches and kiwis and Hostess Snowballs. In fact, that Fred hated every human being except me really meant something. Mama never told me. Not that I’m a lesbian – well, maybe I am. One day with the top down is better than a lifetime in a box. She’s definitely a turnoff –...

B-Why do you talk so dirty, Maggie? M-Why do you talk so faggy, Bob? B-You stupid ignorant little girl. You think you can just pout and decide that you don’t want to play anymore? I mean where do you think you are? Don’t you understand anything that I’ve said? M- I mean it. B-You don’t know what...

…last time you had a feeling I had to kill a guy, and I hate that… It looks bad on my report. 1) I am an FBI Agent! 2) I know man isnt it wild?! Its like we can exsist on two plains, why be a servant to the law when you can be its master. 1) I’ve fired my peice over 14 times, been shot in the line...

–Then why didn’t he kill you? –He killed the car. –What’s my last name? –What’s my first name? Are you crazy?! How good it must be being dead. Is it? I want my 93 grand. It’s called the Multiplex Company. Mighty good times. Most accidents happen within three miles from home. Profit is the only...

1)You know I don’t allow no smoking in my house. 2) I work hard. I pay bills around here and I can even have a motherfucking cigarette? 1)Just shut the fuck up and put the cigarette out! a)Ah I get it, you one of them angry bitches. b) What did you just call me? A) I said you a mean bitch, thinkin...

1) What do you see? 2) Clouds. Strange clouds. 1) What if we see any savages 2) Then we will be sure to give them a proper English greeting 1) Ooh gift baskets! 2) *ugh* And he came so highly reccomended 1)I’ve never been a…popular man. 2)I like you. 1. He has a good soul, and he’s handsome too! 2....

–There can’t be such devils out there. –There are such devils. Has your mommy told you about the Word? Holly Ghost power! How could God be so greedy? I made a promise…You’re old enough to remember when that meant something. I was baptized, but I’m not devout. Some people believe in the Bible....