Innocent English

InnocentEnglish.com’s list of the best, worst, funniest, saddest and most unfortunate Bushisms from 2006. 1. “That’s George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three — three or four books about him last year. Isn’t that interesting?” — During...

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book . This morning, I was walking outside, when suddenly a big shower fell on me! Yesterday I had strong wind here. Rain makes old cars lust. So be careful about that. Once a car...

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book . From New English Language Students 10. I fell in love with her the first time I sawed her. 9. He had such a worm heart. 8. We were two sheeps passing in the night. 7. We have...

  Some of the funniest Wedding Quotes:   I have something exciting to tell you. My girlfriend and I got enraged last night! I really believe our wedding will last until we die. What does it mean: “I would like to propose to some toast? If he is really the best man, why isn’t she marrying him...

  Some of Steve Wrights Funny Sayings:   I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate. “Did you sleep well?” “No, I made a couple of mistakes.” My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo...

  Here are a few more of Steve Wrights funny sayings:   You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time. I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet. Two babies were born on the same day at the...

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book . I am so eager to mate you! Please execute me for being late. Should I have a coma in the middle of this sentence? I am sorry I am later. It took me ten minutes to ignite my...

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book . Once I tripped all the way to Hawaii. I like to visit small European tongues. How far should I tip the driver? She was so kind. She rode me all the way to the airport! I...

InnocentEnglish.com has undertaken the grueling, painful task of going through hundreds, even thousands, of corny, stupid, dumb, mildly amusing, kinda funny and so-bad-they’re-almost-good song titles, in an attempt to find the top twenty worst song titles of all time. Here are the fruits of this...

  The best puns of all time are:   1. A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” 2. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a...

1. Well, I see in the game in Minnesota that Terry Felton has relieved himself on the mound in the second inning. — Fred White, Kansas City Royals sportscaster, reading a wire-service summary that mistakenly showed the same starter and relief pitcher for the Minnesota Twins. 2. “I’ve never had...

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book . All over Europe people wanted more animal hair. The Hudson Bay company was found in the Canada woods. Fur hunters catch furry animals, wash them, and dry them, and then sell...

These are actual answers from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world. “When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.” “H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water” “To collect fumes of...

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book . We won two gold medals, one silver, and four blonds! When we won, I was so exciting I had goose pimps all over my body. Did I tell you I climbed half way up one of the tallest...

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book . I can usually know when he is lying Because he starts to breed a little faster. I think she wants to spit up with me. We were lovers, but now she is my biggest enema! We have...

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book . My landlord gave me a one year contraction. It will be over soon. The rent fee is only $300 per month. That includes having gas and hitting. Me and my brother share a small...

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book . Unfortunately, the school board was forced to cut fifteen percent off all teachers. Every day I study hardly. I have really good news. I passed both my testes last week....

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book . Do you believe in Cod? Christians believe if they do not sin they will have salivation. We must try to control our animal orgies. What means “you should never stone the first...

According to several comedians, as compiled by GQ magazine the funniest jokes are: Okay, so it’s impossible to objectively choose the funniest jokes ever. Although there was a scientific study on the topic, which produced these jokes as the funniest jokes in the world. The list below was compiled...

Each quiz is based on real English mistakes Everyone learning a new language will make many mistakes. This is a natural, necessary part of the learning process. One of my students had a great way of looking at mistakes. She said that anyone trying to learn English probably has to make about half a...