Innocent English

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book .DATING That night, we went skin dipping- Just the two of us! You mean you went skinny dipping? It is called skinny dipping? But I’m not very skinny! Well, that’s what they call...

A scientific survey in 2002 attempted to find the funniest joke in the world. Thousands of people from dozens of countries voted on thousands of jokes. Each country had a different favorite. Overall, the number one and number two funniest jokes in the world, based on votes, are: The funniest joke...

Bushisms: Funniest Mistakes, Blunders, Bloopers and quotes by George W. Bush (A very funny video of Bushisms) https://youtube.com/watch?v=Xq956JmU1LE “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither...

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book .Food Do you like this food? I made it from scratching! I never liked mushrooms, but now they are starting to grow in me. Do you like your coffee cremated? Tomorrow I will go to...

  Here are some funny bloopers and quotes from famous politicians and celebrities:   “I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.” David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. “They gave me a book of checks. They didn’t...

1) Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eighty miles an hour and then they start dropping and they don’t stop dropping until the act is completed. So it’s not uncommon that they both fall all the way to the ground, hit the ground and both of...

  These are some of the best sport quotes and bloopers mistatements:   “Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.” -Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters “Sure. I’m proud to be an American.” -Cincinnati Reds rookie pitcher Steve Foster, asked by a Canadian customs agent if he had anything...

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him. I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there’s never any gum under any of them. When I was a kid I used to pray every...

Steven Wright is one of a kind. His unique mind has come up with some classic one-liners. Some of them have even become part of pop culture. His dead-pan delivery and ultra-mellow style, mixed with some real mind-bending one-liners- some of which are practically Zen coens- have helped make him one...

(Or is it shame?) Classic Funny Signs From Around the World (These are the best of those oldies but goodies that have been floating around emails, forums and websites for years. Are they all real? We can’t know for sure, but it is very likely they all are. Any of us trying to write in a second...

Don’t let worries kill you- let the church help. Â Â Here are some really funny church bulletins and announcements: Â Â Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary...

These mistakes have been collected from Sundayschool teachers, Catholic school teachers and others This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the...

Innocent English’s fun and friendly animated free talking Chat bot BELL stands for Bot for English Language Learning.She also stands for Bot for Everyone a Little Lonely. She never gets bored or tired of talking with you. She can answer math questions, tell you where most countries are and what...

 Here are some funny and stupid celebrity poems from last year. Now that the site has comments set up, if you want to submit your own funny, stupid or timely celebrity poems, about recent celeb news or anything else Celeb, just send them in the comment form below. I try to keep the site pretty...

  Some of the funniest celebrity bloopers and quotes:   Classic Arnold: “The difference between Sly Stallone and me is I am me and he is him.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger Honorary Doctorate: “I have an honorary doctorate at, uh.. oh god, where is it, some college [the University of...

An Inspirational Speech to the Nation By George W. Bush Compiled entirely out of actual Bush quotes, by InnocentEnglish.com My Fellow Americans, During these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings.1 I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. … He married a Texas girl, I...

  Funniest Bush quotes for 2004 are:   10) “I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.” —Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004 9) “Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling.” —Washington, D.C., Jan....

  Funniest bush quotes for 2005 are:   “I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?” –in a note to to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a U.N. Security Council meeting, September 14, 2005 (caught by TV cameras). 1) “You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I...

Engrish is a slang term which refers to poor-quality attempts by Japanese writers to create English words and phrases; whether in mistranslation of an original Japanese language text, or in an attempt to create an original text in the English language. The Japanese-specific terms Japlish and...

  Best and funniest bush quotes of all time are:   Funny Video Compilation of Classic Bush mistakes and bloopers https://youtube.com/watch?v=pbsucGt-tvM The Top Ten Funniest (and Saddest) Mistakes, Misstatements, Bloopers and Blunders By President George W. Bush (so far…) 1. It’s not easy to...