Innocent English

Here’s another good inspirational story: Praying Hands Back in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, lived a family with eighteen children. Eighteen! In order merely to keep food on the table for this mob, the father and head of the household, a goldsmith by profession, worked...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Seventeenth Century Nun’s Prayer Lord, You know better than I know myself that I am growing older and will someday be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occassion. Release me from the craving to...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Don’t hope, … decide! While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about -the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet...

1. do you have any enemys? 2. not that i know of. 1. does mr. filmore have any? 2. who? 3. thats wilards last name. 2 oh. not that i know of. 1 did he have any friends he would bring over? 2. not that i know of. 1 does he have any living reletives? 2. not that i know of. 1. grover how would you...

Kincaid: She has a bodyguard. And besides, the producers told us that there are three different versions of the script, something about keeping the ending off the Internet, you should know that, you’re the technical advisor right? Three versions, three different characters die next, and we don’t’...

It’s a perfect example of life imitating art imitating life. (1) So what do you want to do, bonehead? Just sit here and wait to see who drops next? (2) I don’t know. [ phone rings ] Phonehead! Stupid people go back! Smart people run! We’re smart people, so we should just get the fuck outta here! #1...

I heard they put the liver in the mail box next to the splein and the pancreas ‘Watching movies doesn’t create psychos. Watching movies makes psychos more creative!’ (RANDY) Did you really put her liver in the mailbox, cause I heard they found her liver in the mailbox, next to her spleen and...

1. Donald is that you? 2. NO 1. How’s your father? 2. Dead 1. Oh AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Don’t give me one of those baby-shit-ass-tubes. I need a VAT OF IT MY FUCKING HAND IS FALLING OFF!!!! Fuck, fuckity, fuck!! I called the number like 95 times. I practically had it memorized. if you could go to the bar,...

1)Like ALL of my inventions, Memnon will try to use it for war. 2)Where is Memnon? 1)Ay, you mean to kill him, do you? 2)Yes. 1)Where are we going? 2)The Valley of the Dead. 1)No one goes through the Valley of the Dead. That’s why they call it the Valley of the Dead. Along the way. Arpid: After a...

–Who on eath is Sun Tzu? –A great scholar of war. Horse players die broke. I want out, not just a change of sides. I’m the dybbuk of Cross’s labyrinth mind. In Intelligence, all evidence is of necessity circumstanial. More questions make for deeper probes. Never stand still when you run, and never...

-I always pay you what’s right. -You always think you do. I always know what you pay me. 1) Who’s this? 2) My cousin. 1) Well you see that guy over my right shoulder, the big one? He’s my cousin. So…we’ve all got family here which is nice I think. 1: Excuse me, can you help me please… Give me a...

(scooby enters holding a big pile of junk and throws it on the floor in front of shaggy) scooby: clues! shaggy: those aren’t clues, those are just things you want (scooby picks up a toilet brush and sings) scooby: scooby doo be doo… shaggy: scoob, just because you can sing into it doesn’t make it a...

Shaggy:Like i’m right here man! Scooby: Me two Shaggy: hey scoob that was fun let’s grab another skate board and like do it again!Scooby:yeah hehehehehe #1- I think being good at ‘Crane Machine’ is way cooler than French! #1-Oh we don’t go near any place with spooky, haunted, forbidden or creepy...

1) Whos your best buddy? 2) Raggy 1) That’s right, and whos my best buddy in the whole wide world? 2) Rooby-Doo 1.I’ve gotta bag of… uh… hamburgers for you. All you have to do is to come out into the dark shadowy part of the woods where no one can see you. 2.Okay! 1.My employer would like you to...

– We have a saying…. the meek shall inherit the earth…… – I wonder how meek they’ll be when they do, sir 1) And what religion are you? 2) I’m Methodist 3) Really….all this time I didn’t know that.. 1) Honest? You lied to me! 2) I didn’t lie to you!! I lie to my father, I lied to myself!! 1)You...

Now listen you guys, You know what normal kids would’ve instilled to slack off, But not you guys, because you’re not normal. You’re special. And because i think you have the right attitude, I think it’s time we started our new class project. A science project’ no. It’s called…. rock band. Is this a...

1) You don;t seem to understand 2) Well Make us understand All Together:Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Shit! And when do you think you might be finished with it? Time it is??? I like Dap myself, but I’m willing to bet that he’s SNEAKING! He’s a man! It’s their NATURE! I’m coocoo for Cocoa Puffs, coocoo for...

(Charlie)Colonel…are you looking at me? (colonel)I’m blind Charlie! (Freddy)I’m known from coast to coast like butter and toast! (George)Seriously, who did he have to blow to get that? (Slade)I’m givin’ you pearls here. (Slade)What do your parents do in Oregon? (Charlie)They run a convenience...

(BECKA SEES KATIE IN THE CHAIR BUT DOESN’T SEE HER FACE)BECKA:KATIE,R U OK,KATIE R U OK.(BECKA TURNS THE CHAIR AROUND AND KATIE’S HEAD FALLS OFF ONTO THE FLOOR).BECKA:R U OK,KATIE (blackout, u hear a little girls scream) tom: *to the little girl* dont be afraid!!! girl: that was uncle george...

THE HISTORY OF SK8 Skateboarding has a rich history of innovation and is full of intriguing stories. Many of these stories are documented in the book The Concrete Wave in greater detail. However, this essay will provide you with an overview of the last nine decades. The first type of skateboards...