Innocent English

(sign Roland holds):will dance for food -There’s only one reason why good Christian girls go to Planned Parenthood… -Mary’s planting a pipe bomb?!??!! 1)Do you wanna go out sometime? I’m like totally adorable. 2)(Laughs) Um…I’m not dating right now. 1)How bout tomorrow? Will you be dating then? 1)I...

#1-You know, you talk a lot of shit for someone who never says anything! (#1)Hey, you should hit Steps with us tonight!! (#2)Hey, steps ain’t no squaredance! – (#3)It’s allright, I’ll dance in circles! Probably around you!! (1) So you and your mom, are you all tight ‘n shit? (2) Yeah we tight and...

Booootsie, I want a rubber duckie! Born and raised in the briar patch…dum duh duh dum dum duh duh dum I hope no one ever tells her we were bad guys. It won’t make no difference. Mmm, mmm, Aint these taters good, Savannah? Not Boris! Delores! Sorry officer I lost control of my cone Page Topic: Movie...

1. If you’re as good in bed as you are on the dance floor, you must be terrible in bed. 2. Oh, yeah? So why do they always send flowers the next day? 1. I don’t know. Maybe they think that you’re dead. 1. you never called 2.im sorry get down from there we’ll talk 1. (cry) ok (SPLASH) 1/ Hey...

She’s like Darth Vader in a skirt! ~Sly Sly:Listen doc,if you want to talk out of your ass all the time,maybe you should wear a bowtie on your butt Your not my brother! – Carrie Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Baby Geniuses’: Quotes from the movie ‘Baby Geniuses’

Here, Pull my finger! I like to hit home runs. snort! snort! snort! What’s wrong? And two women at one time! My god. You are the best. You are the best there’s ever been. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Babe, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Babe, The’

Here’s another good inspirational story: Jesus in the House Once there was a very wealthy young man. He lived in a great, elaborate house with dozens of rooms. Each room was more comfortable and more beautiful than the one before it. There were paintings and sculptures. Crystal chandeliers, golden,...

Charlie : dad how’d that feel? Scott:It felt like America’s Most Wanted! #1.Well now isn’t that a pretty picture…Santa rollin down the street in a Panzer.#2Well,I certainly hope u were good this year kids cuz it looks like santa just took out the Pearson home.#3. AHHHH,it’s coming! 1 – What about...

Here’s another good inspirational story: You Know You’re a Mom When…. 1. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor…..and you don’t care. 2. When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone’s bleeding. 3. You can’t find your cordless phone, so...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Welcome to Holland I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability, to try to help people who haven’t shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this… When you’re going to have a...

1) Are you an elf? 2) No, of course not 1) Then why do you have pointy ears? 2) because when I was little I didn’t eat all my green vegetables… do you eat your green vegetables? 1)Have you ever seen a million dollars? 2)No 1)Just because you cant see it doesnt mean it doesnt exist 1. Uncle Scott,...

I wasn’t sleeping, chief. It’s just that I haven’t been able to sleep these last few months. I forgot how. So I was just practicing. Wow-wee-wow! I’d hate to meet a creature like that on a dark night. 1) Chochem is over eight hundred years old, no one can argue with the wisdom of the ages. 2) I...

–God bless you, sergeant, you’re a fine man. –You’d get odds on that in the Marine Corps. –Stryker knows his business. –So did Jack the Ripper. –That’s war. –What’s war? –Trading real estate for men. A lot of guys make mistakes, I guess. But every one we make, a whole stack of chips goes with it....

Gershwin : he looks like a dead fish! Yeah Yeah: yeah yeah man.. he looks pretty crappy #1- Hey you wanna s’more? #2- Some more what? (After Ham hits a homerun off Denuenez) Oh yeah! Low and outside! Just like I like it! (HAM): Hey you wanna smore? (smalls): some more of what? (ham): No, no you...

1: Holman, I’ll have you shot as a mutineer! 2: Well shoot something! Hello, engine. I’m Jake Holman. I was almost home. I was home. What happened? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? I will always love you and honor you and serve you, and stay as near to you as I can, and do everything for you, and live for...

–It’s a bit odd becoming a school girl at your age. –Listen, you think it’s easy being the only one in the class with clear skin? –You know that’s a sign of age, don’t you? –What? –When you start worrying about the declining morality of the young. 2) You’re married and have two children. 2) I lied....

–Hey, baby. What’s your sign? –Stop. –Oh. I thought it was slippery when wet. –I thought you were dead. –Dead? Why, do I look that bad? –Yes. I hope you all get anal herpes!!! If I can get some good combat shots for AP, I can make some money. Running on empty. Who will be the one among you to rid...

…you finally hit bottom, and you realize that you can’t go any lower. when you find a friend you wouldn’t have found anywhere else…. sometimes you see the world so clearly. and you know just what to do, and just when to do it. just what you should’ve done and when you should’ve done it. Are you the...

-What is your name? -I don’t have a name. -Sad. Will you have a name when we get home? -I don’t have a home. -Who are you? -Nobody has a clue. Least of all me. 1) give it back 2) sorry I just wanted to watch you put it away again. what else do you keep in there? 1) I really like this guy 2) too bad...