Innocent English

–I see you whittled them down a bit. –They whittled us down, too. –Where’s your captain? –It’s around 5 o’clock. You know how those Britishers are about their teas. 1 what took you so long?, 2 i stopped for coffee, 1 did you get a reciet? 2 yeah i got one for you too! 1 your the best Al! 1)Aw come...

1) Hello. Who is this? 2) This is Big Fat Bernie Gayle Jr. 1) Well hello Little Big Fat. Could you put Big Fat Bernie Gayle Sr. on the phone? 2) Dad, phone! 3) No yelling in the house Bernard! 1) I set her up on a date with Veil Chop once. 2)I put my tongue in her mouth and she punched me in the...

#1- Go ahead. Say it. #2- You don’t deserve her. #1- I don’t. I know that. But I need her. And I don’t need anything. #1- I’ll drive you home. #2- I’m flying home. (in a letter) Don’t invite David to the funeral, he probably wouldn’t cry. 1) Has he asked for anyone? 2) Bert and Ernie. 1) I sat on...

–No rolls? –You only roll in John Woo movies, not real life. –So why’d you pick me? –To piss off the captain. –You wanna join S.W.A.T.? –No, I just like applying all the time. 1:How can you trust a man who won’t eat a good ol’ fashioned American hotdog? 2:(says mockingly)He’s a vegetarian. 70 David...

1.) Come to think of it, why should I give you a vitamin shot? I’m the one with the hangover. B-12, B-Complex, Crude Liver, and a generous jolt of adrenal cortex. Chased by a Bloody Mary. L’chaim! Now Lila, in order to inject this properly I have to expose my gluteus maximus. 2.) Want me to do it...

hE WANTED ME TO GO; CHICAGO SHIIIT NOT ME BROTHER ,ive been there and you can have it. shangai knights show me how to control a pike and i will show you how to control an unhinged pig feeding gangster sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to survival is the ultimate ideology TUNE IN...

(phone rings) Hello…Debbie? Yeah, Debbie is here whose this?…Well Ralph, Debbie can’t come to the phone right now my dick’s in her mouth. How ’bout I have her call you back when I’m done! –Are you scared? –Scared? Hell, no. I’m looking forward to it. My only regret, Carol, is that the plan isn’t...

Always I am saying goodbye to you, and always I am meeting you again. America! We are in America! Any house by the sea is bound to be damp. Don’t faint until you roll off of me first. You’re squashing me! Just roll over lightly. Don’t tell them anything! He hasn’t even tortured you yet … Emergency!...

–You mean you came over a hundred miles just to tell me that? –I’d have come further. 5 Card Stud. Elected by God and Mr. Colt. Samuel’s his first name – kind of biblical. Well, they all look alike to the worms. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘5 Card Stud’: Quotes from the movie ‘5 Card Stud’

–I’m not in the mood. –Too bad, I am. –Your parents say you’re always lying. –Oh, I lie now and then, I suppose. Sometimes I’d tell them the truth and they still wouldn’t believe me, so I prefer to lie. Better a thorn in the woods than a flower in a greenhouse. Better to have freedom and incessant...

–Have you ever met any jazz musicians you would describe, or who would describe themselves, as anarchists? –Hmmm…ah, there was a trombone player, Wilfred Baker…He’s the only jazz musisian I can think of who is completely devoid of anarchist tendencies. Any decent church would have burned you...

#1: These are O.R. scrubs. #2: Oh, R they? ‘It’s a dead language,’ I’d always say ‘What are you, a lawyer or something?’ -what did you think of the play mr. low jeans? -best play ever man 1) How did you and Ms. Cross meet? 2) We went to Harvard together. 3) Oh, really? I wrote a hit play, but I’m...

(in airplane) CARTER SAYS: gafeelka fish ..i think you, should go over there and count something… 1)Here, I’m Michael Jackson, you Toto! 2)That’s Tito! Toto’s what we had for dinner last night. 1)Hold on Lee! I’ll be right there! 2)AAAAHHHHHHH! 1)Aw! HELL NO!!!! LEE?! I’m takin’ the stairs! 1)I am...

Look, we’re the LAPD, the most hated cops in the world. They’re ashamed of us. My own mother tells everybody I’m a drug dealer. #1 Oh, hell no! You didn’t just touch my god damn radio! #2 The Beach Boys are great American music. #1 The Beach Boys are going to get you a great ass whoopin’! Don’t you...

Here’s another good inspirational story: A Quiet Voice and The Golden Crane This little story reminds us to listen to that small quiet voice from within — you never know where it will lead you. As a teacher of origami (the ancient Japanese art of paper folding) at the LaFarge Lifelong Learning...

–You need a drink. –No I need lots of drinks. -I’m gonna call for backup. -Backup? -Everyone else does! -Let’s bust ’em. -For what? -In this neighborhood, a Mercedes is probable cause. -Pointing a gun at a police officer. Can we waste them for that? -I think so. -Why weren’t we on that track? -Oh,...

Here’s another good inspirational story: In Hiding A long time ago, education and religion went hand in hand, therefore many of the teachers were holy men. There once was one who was highly known and respected in his small. village. He had four students, but seemed prouder about one in particular....

Here’s another good inspirational story: A Gallon of Milk A young man had been to Tuesday night Bible Study. The Pastor had shared about listening to God and obeying the Lord. The young man couldn’t help but wonder, “Does God still speak to people?” After service he went out with some friends for...

Danny: It’s terrific not recognizing yourself when you look in the mirror. It’s wonderful having a new name every six months. highlights:GTHO, 1970 dodge challenger r/t, a tough monaro and a blown 57 chev. lowlights:tight jeans, scary 80s haircuts.Best quote-green, green is nice. I taught you. We...