Innocent English

Don’t you know ‘tibiron’ means ‘shark’? You don’t mess with Tibby Mendez. Donde esta my fucking cat? Hey, nothing’s forever, man. I killed a man I hated today. I never concede a point. I’m going on a vacation. I don’t work for anybody. I’m not gonna work for anybody. All right? If you want to be a...

–We want you to feel a member of our congregation. –Who is she? Any man with any style at all can make a mess of his love life…and any woman with any gumption at all can make a shambles of her marriage. Gowan always maintained that what he hated most about writing was the paperwork. I did something...

(1)I believe I’ll lock you in the tower for a few years until your head is ready…and then I’ll take it. (2) I believe you will not! 1. ‘Beware the Wheelers’ 2. What’s a Wheeler? 1. I don’t remember them. 1. Billina, this is our old house. The one that the tornado blew away. 2. Looks like it was a...

(1) I’m just saying, for safety, don’t shave your legs, because then you definitely won’t let it go too far. (2) Megan, it’s a first date. (1) I married a first date. I’m sure you plan on being level-headed, but once you’re in the moment, the male brain seems, I don’t know, everything they say...

Alright, racing fans. Here we go! Are ya havin’ fun yet? Burn!!!!! BURN!!!!!! BURN!!!! Girls have tits. How fuckin’ simple can you get!? I’ve gotta mind……to slit your goddamn throat! Look again, goddamn it! Two-headed dog. Well, first of all, I’m gonna kill ya. It ain’t no fuckin’ biggie. Well,...

‘Beware Japanese waitress bearing fortune cookies.’ (1)Something is very fishy in Denmark.(2)AH Switerland!(1)AH! There too! Dreyfuss: Idiot! Clouseau: How was I to know he was the bank manager? Dreyfuss: (Sarcastic) How were you to know the bank was being robbed? Clouseau: That is correct....

(1)Did you see that movie, Night of the Living Dead? (2)Is that the one where all the bodies come to life and start eating all the people? (1)Yeah, did you know that was based on a true story? (1)Grrr! (2)Don’t fool around, you’re learnin’. (1)Hey, Casey, do you like sex with death? (2)Yeah, so...

Brains Brains! Get that damned screwdriver outta my head! Give your brains to me, I’m the one who loves you! I’m so not into dead guys! Make my night! Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Return of the Living Dead Part II’: Quotes from the movie ‘Return of the Living Dead Part II’

Igor! Come! Tara is missing! That’s the bravest thing I’ve ever seen a vegetable do. The girl of my dreams is a vegetable! They are gardeners and carpenters. They are not tomato men. They’re back and this time they’re really stewed! Valerian root powder! Would you like a blow-job? Page Topic: Movie...

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Apple iphone apps: Review of Piano for Iphone and Ipod Touch. Â Â New apps are out in the App Store for iPod Touch with the new 2.0 firmware and the new iPhone 3G! Are there any applications for musicians? Yes there are! There are applications with drums, guitars, and many other instruments. There...

Good Technology quotes: Best famous quotes about Technology Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. – Andy Grove Leaders have to act more quickly today. The pressure comes much faster. – Andy Grove Congress will pass a law...

Good quotes about Technology: Some of the best great quotes about Technology I am a hard-core believer that the clean desktop is the way to go… At the same time, we told OEMs that if they were going to put a bunch of icons on the desktop, then so were we. – Jim Allchin Microsoft is a bully....

*Zombie crossing the road* YEA! 10 POINTS *runs over zombie* MOTHAFUCKA PLEASE LOOK, MINES IS CUSTOM Alice: How long ago were you bitten? Carlos: Three hours L.J.: What! Alice: Looks like today is your lucky day. L.J.: You should have told me you was bit motherfucker, I’m hanging with you and shit!...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Jeremy’s Egg Jeremy was born with a twisted body, a slow mind and a chronic, terminal illness that had been slowly killing him all his young life. Still his parents had tried to give him as normal a life as possible and had sent him to St. Theresa’s...

Here’s another good inspirational story: John 3:16 In the city of Chicago, one cold, dark night, a blizzard was setting in. A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner, while other people were in and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn’t trying to sell many papers. He...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Letter From Jesus Ruth went to her mail box and there was only one letter. She picked it up and looked at it before opening, but then she looked at the envelope again. There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address. She read the letter: Dear...

(1)We found a survivor. (2)And you shot `em? (Alice) Rain….. Rain? (Rain) What? (Alice) We have to take care of your wounds. (Rain) I’m fine… (Jerks hand away from Alice) I said I’m fine! 1)I just transferred, they probably don’t even have me on file yet. 2)It could be true, the locals aren’t very...

‘Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie? Or are you gonna bite?’ (rubbing tips of his fingers together) You know what this is? It’s the world’s smallest violin, playing for the waitresses *# Let me tell you what Like A Virgin is about. It’s all about a girl who digs a guy with big dick. The...

1)Snoops, you don’t have a way with children. You must gain their confidence. Make them Like you. 2) Yeah? How do you do that? 1) You force them to like you, Idiot! At the next low tide I’m going to put her down there myself and keep her there, until she finds it. And it is as simple as that! 2) Oh...