Innocent English

(song) Give me a happy ending every time. We’ll kiss and make up, everything will work out fine. (song) If you’re treading water and romance is on the slide. . . don’t you know you have to swallow something more than water, it’s your pride. 1) Harder…Harder…Harder…What’s that saying? Harder… 2)...

1) Perhaps you haven’t been telling the truth, Bush-nocchio 2) PERHAPS?! 1) Perhaps you haven’t been telling the truth, Pinocchio 2) PERHAPS or maybe I’ve decided to become a salesman. 1) Perhaps you haven’t been telling the truth, Pinocchio 2) PERHAPS?! 1. And what might your name be? 2....

#1:what did you say? #2: I didn’t say anything #1: you didn’t say stop the car, i’m begging you please stop the car? –I’m glad he’s pushing up daisies. –He is not pushing up daisies. He is dead. –It’s an idiom. –You, sir, are the idiom. –You are a constant and desirable contradiction. –Oh, I am...

#1- Does your dog bite? #2- No. (Dog bites man as he attempts to pet it) #1- I thought you said your dog does not bite! #2- That is not my dog. #1- Does your dog bite? #2- No. @1- Nice doggie, (Dog bites man as he attempts to pet it) #1- I thought you said your dog does not bite! #2- That is not my...

Teacher: If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat! All in all, it’s just another brick in the wall! I’m going to be OK! Is there anybody out there??? It was just before dawn, one miserable morning in black ’44, When the Forward...

…there’s 2 types of people in this world, my type of people, and assholes! 1)What’s wrong with her? 2)Ain’t nothing wrong with her. It’s just my grandma. A mailman, what kinda shit is that?!? could you give us some of your political beliefs? Kill everyone now! Condone 1st degree murder. Advocate...

–Officer, arrest this man. He’s taking me up to his apartment. –Well, I can’t say that I blame him, Miss. –Well, what am I missing? –If you have to ask, you’re missing it. 1)I do hate to interrupt, but would you mind hanging up, please? 2)Who’s that? 3)The other half of my party line. Just ignore...

Kate: This is my Nick. Sam: I’m her Sam. Rita: I want a grandchild. Kate: Well, Ma, you’ll be happy to know that I am looking into having some eggs frozen. Rita: Wonderful. I can tell everyone I’m having a grandsicle. I like men, men like me…but then somewhere in the last year or so, I’ve just...

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A surprising number of human beings are without purpose, though it is probable that they are performing some function unknown to themselves. All we see and all we’ve seen is but a dream. A dream within a dream. Everything begins and ends at exactly the right time and place Just think, a million...

–Do you want a beer? –I want my wallet. Are you waving the flag at me? Did you get a good look at the grifter? I told you that this was a cut-throat business. I’ll do business with a red, but I don’t have to believe them. I’ve got almost enough to buy both the stone and the plot. If I was to be...

hell-oo I am afraid of my will, of what it might do I don’t consider myself silent, that is, because of my piano I just clipped your wing, that is all i think its like this: What a death, what a chance, what a surprise, my will has chosen life, still its a surprise… I want to lie together without...

(Russian soldier): German! Come out with your hands up! (Szpilman): Don’t shoot, I’m Polish! I’m Polish! (Russian soldier): What’s with the fucking coat? (Szpilman): I’m cold… Henryk: You know what’s funny? You’re funny.. with that ridiculous tie. Wladyslaw: My tie? What does my tie have to do with...

Good Patriotism quotes: Best famous quotes about Patriotism A nation is a society united by a delusion about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbours. – William R. Inge And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. – John F....

Good quotes about Patriotism: Some of the best great quotes about Patriotism Nationalism is a silly cock crowing on his own dunghill. – Richard Aldington I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually. –...

But when you abandon scientific rigor, you’re no longer a mathematician, you’re a numerologist! …stop thinking! Just…. feel. Use your intuition. I’m a very private person – I don’t want to talk to anyone. When your mind becomes obsessed with anything, it will filter everything else out, and see...

isn’t it funny, you hear a phone ring, and it could be anybody, but a ringing phone has to be answered, doesn’t it. –Who are you on the phone with? –My psychiatrist. Caller:Yes! Finally, some honesty! Isn’t it funny? You hear a phone ring and it could be anybody. But a ringing phone has to be...

Here’s another good inspirational story: The Parable of the Two Servants There once was a man who had two indentured servants. One day a disagreement arose between them as to who was the greatest in the eyes of their master. So they went to the master of the house and asked him, “My lord, which of...

Here’s another good inspirational story: The Perfect Mistake My Mother’s father worked as a carpenter. On this particular day, he was building some crates for the clothes his church was sending to orphanages in China. On his way home, he reached into his shirt pocket to find his glasses, but they...

Here’s another good inspirational story: The Quilt As I faced my Maker at the last Judgement, I knelt before the Lord along with the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives, like the squares of a quilt, in many piles. An Angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a...