Innocent English

1-What’s up Buttercup? 2-The rent and I’m not paying! A trained monkey learned this system on PBS in a matter of hours! A trained monkey learned this system on PBS in a matter of hours! Recode it!! a: What’s up butter cup? b: The rent and I’m not payin’ Can I get a falafel with hot sauce, a side...

a) I’d sell my soul for a piece of ass. b) Don’t say that. a) It’s true. b) Well, it might be true but don’t say it out loud a) (screaming) I’D SELL MY SOUL FOR A PIECE OF ASS! b) Damnit! You’re gonna be sorry. A) What’s the problem with your member? B) My what? A) Your member A: I am not an...

1.Aren’t you going to open it? 2. No Miss Simpson, I am not going to open it. The reason I’m not going to open it is because I’m fully aware of what it says. 1.But if you are the inspector, then who is….? 2….You are only third policemen and shouldn’t have any lines at all. So shut up and drive....

(1) Is that what bothers you, that I did these things and that I did them with Todd. (2) Gee whiz Julie there’s so much about this that bothers me I don’t know where to start. (1) Todd is very special to me. (2) And we have the pictures to prove it. (1) You shouldn’t view Kevin’s problems as any...

Hallie-Do you want to know the difference between us? Annie-Let me see…I know how to fence and you don’t or I have class and you don’t. Make your choice Parker. im making a memory so that yars from now i can remember my dear grandfther who smelled like peppermints and pipe tobacco 1 and i suppose...

A temptation resisted is a true judge of character. A temptation resisted is a true measure of character. Blame is for God and small children. HEy you bastards im still here!!! I seem to be known in all the wrong places. I think you ought to go with us, Louis. You ought to. I was born skinny. Make...

–Henry, why do you have me doing all this grunt work? I’m a columnist! –You’re not a columnist. You’re a reporter who writes long. –The guy smashes his train and then steps over bodies to go have a few beers. –What do you do after you step over bodies? –I have a cigarette and go to sleep. –When did...

–I don’t have your two hundred dollars no more. And you know it. –Then get it! 25 dollars?!? For that much money she drop her pants down in the middle of the road. Hey, what’s up kiddo? Your daddy says you’re wearing a sad face. Ain’t no good to have a sad face. Hey, how’d you like a coloring book?...

-You are a son of a bitch, Kingsfield! -Mr. Hart. That is the most intelligent thing you’ve said all day. You make take your seat. I know there’s a lot of things to say, but it really isn’t worth saying them. So please just get out. It may be just a letter but it determines sallaries and futures....

Crazy old man: Hey, uh, what regiment you in there son? Gunther: The Paper Brigade. Gunther’s Dad: Son, we could use a little help here… Gunther: Dad, you know how my back is! Here comes the 7th calvary. I came, I saw, I conquered…Julias Ceaser… i gotta go Gunther!! i hate to burst your bubble but...

–Only one thing matters, right? –I know, Dad. Have fun. everybody wants to eat streak but nobody wants to date the butcher He’s coming for us! I picked her off with a thousand mil from 120 yards out. It was beautiful. Six months ago I couldn’t get arrested with a fresh corpse and a smoking gun. And...

‘Mom, say ‘fuck’.’ ‘FUCK.’ –How do we get in there? –You can’t. –Is that Morse Code? –No, SOS. –Where did you learn that? –Titanic. –Who are you? –I’m Raoul. 1) Get the hell out of my house! 2) Say fuck 1) FUCK! 2) No mom, say Get the fuck out of my house! I dont need no help from Joe Pesci over...

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Good Movies quotes: Best famous quotes about Movies In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director. – Alfred Hitchcock Citizen Kane is perhaps the one American talking picture that seems as fresh now as the day it opened. It may seem even fresher. – Pauline Kael It...

Good quotes about Movies: Some of the best great quotes about Movies So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? – Christina Aguilera Everyone told me to pass on Speed because it was a ‘bus movie.’ – Sandra Bullock A film is a petrified fountain of thought. – Jean Cocteau Spielberg...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Three Marbles During the waning years of the depression in a small southeastern Idaho community, I used to stop by Mr. Miller’s roadside stand for farm-fresh produce as the season made it available. Food and money were still extremely scarce and bartering...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Where ‘Ya Been? The story is told of a man named John who had once been faithful to attend his church regularly, but had grown lackadaisical recently. The Pastor knew that he hadn’t seen the gentleman in a while, so he went for a visit. John greeted the...

Here’s another good inspirational story: A Tug In some circles it is not “politically correct” to be considered a “bloody” Christian who believes in eternal salvation, but I am guilty of believing that once saved, always saved. I have been cleansed by and washed in the blood of Jesus. Knowing this,...

–And where are these men who are going to faint at your feet? –They’re always there, and they make new ones every year. –I might not get married again. I might become an adventuress. –I can just see you starting for China on a twenty-six-foot sailboat. –You’re thinking of an adventurer, dear. An...

–Are you a man or a mouse? –I’m not a mouse and I’m not a man. I’m a dentist. –Remember, you promised to love, honor, and obey. –Yeah, let’s do it in the order named. –That’s Indian country out there! –You’re not afraid of a few Indians, are you? –It’s not the Indians I’m afraid of. It’s their...