Innocent English

–Who are you – really? –It really doesn’t matter, does it? –No. 1) Do you imbibe, Reverend? 2) Only after nine in the mornin’. 1) I hear you messed up some of my boys, Preach. 2) Nothin’ personal. 1) I hope you won’t take it personal if we tell you to get the hell out of Carbon Canyon now. 2) Well,...

–Why do people drink when you feel so awful the morning after? –Maybe because it feels so good the night before. And remember, the powder room is in the park. Hey, who’s the mouse with the built? I could write a book. That’s the trouble with you nightclub entertainers. You’re all alike. You think...

A million miles away behind the door. All those in favor of bringing prostitution to this camp, say Aye! Best things. Gold Fever. Hand me down that can of beans. Have you ever read the Bible? Yes, Ma’am Didn’t that cure your thirst for drinking? No, it cured my thirst for reading. I give you the...

11% of all household accidents involve ladders… and 3 percent involve trees, we are talking a 14 percent probability… can’t argue with stactistics dad… 1] It’s in the middle, by a waterfall! 2] No, east, by some broccoli! 3] Give me that…west by a tree! evil demons… wicked demons It’s a library...

–I think you’re going to prison, Walter. –You don’t know where I’m going. –Why would someone want to take the place of a guy going to prison? –Gets him into the country without a passport. A bunch of Naxi goons. A bunch of Nazi goons. Be all you can be. Call a medic! Eileen, it’s Johnny. You’re in...

(Shane holds out ‘tracking’ bracelet to Zoe) Zoe: I would rather chew off my arm! *shane does peter panda dance* paul: again! shane: no, go to sleep. good night my little peter panda! paul: good night daddy. *walks into zoe’s room* shane: zoe! a rookie sniper could drop you like a deer! zoe: good....

Babies don’t sleep this well. FACE OFF freeze dirt bag He is your penguin He wants to kdon’t have anything! Oh be ill me so bad he can taste it! Put youre guns down i dont have anything what do you need a gun for?! If it weren’t gor the camera men they woult kill us all! Pool and a pond….pond would...

1/_How do you rate the thrill you got from gambling on a scale of one to a hundred? 2/_(long pause) Mmmmmmm hundred 1/_What about the biggest thrill you’ve ever got outside of gambling? 2/_(long pause)Twenty 1/_Twenty?… how do you feel about living the rest of your life with a max of twenty?...

1)Oh I was just killing time. 2)Killing time? 1)I was killing time til I met you. Extra, Extra. Read all about it. Kim can shake her pom-poms but she won’t go at it! Extraaa. Extraaa. Give me a K! We got your K, we got your K. Give me an I! We got your I, we got your I. Give me an M! We got your M,...

(1) They’re not….they’re not mine… (2) Oh honey, I was sure you’d remember them (3) Well I know I would remember having three children- (4) Four honey, don’t forget little Joey (Doing shots on yacht) Lick! Shake! Lick! Drink! Suck!! (Grant Stayton The III) Ms. Stayton decided to leave me….let’s...

1) Fireworks? What am I gonna do with these? 2) Give ’em to Claude. Let him smoke ’em. 1) You boys got any special reason to be hiding behind there? 2) Yea, we heard you were horny. Cory: What are you looking at? Carl: Nothin’——-you. Cory: And…? Carl: You could do a lot betteh… Richie: Eh, do we...

Dally-Can I interest you in a coca cola or a 7-up? Cherry-GET LOST, HOOD! Dally- I’m sorry…I…I didn’t know…I didn’t you know you had this problem with….yelling in my face… #1:You know what greasers are? White trash with long greasy hair. (throws liquor on him and laughs)#2:You know what socs are?...

#1 You tell me how Arizona’s not on the water? #2 That gray border down there, thats not water, it’s Mexico. #1 Still? Then what the fuck was the Alamo for? 1) What the hell is that thing 2)It’s a musical instrument 3) Oh yeah, why don’t you play us a tune 1. Hey Mousey. What the hell is that sh*t...

1: You defiled a christmas tree? 2: No one saw! 9 years of ballet lessons! Are you out of your mind? We don’t have two-hundred dollars! Can you say – Needle-dick, the bug fucker? Does the name, ‘Needle Dick The Bug Fucker’ mean anything to you? dont even think about it dont even fuckin’ think about...

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#1- I’d have been half way to Mexico by now except for that crazy squaw, I can’t understand a word she says. #2- I knew that would bring you. #1-Fletcher, I’m giving you a commission. Hound this Wales to Kingdom come. #2-Hound him Senator? A man like Wales lives by the feud. Because of what you did...

(1) Alarmingly high fatality. All localized within a three mile radius. Incubation period: short. Appears contained. Alarming. Casey, you didn’t put alarming. (2) It’s an adverb, Sam. It’s a lazy tool of a weak mind. (1) It spreads like the flu. (2) Impossible. (1) Fine! Go to the hospital, check...

1) No…I just, I had an aspirin. 2) Are you sure it was an aspirin? 1) (scoffs) A prisoner gave it to me. 3) (sarcastically) Oh, well if a prisoner gave it to you… 1) You’re throwing us out? 2) Good heavens, no. Security will do that. 1)henry you’re hungary, just eat a cracker and you’ll be filled...

–Which Wright brother did you buy this plane from? –The same one you dated in high school. 1) I heard sharks out here can swallow you whole. 2) Swallow my what? 1) I saw the way you were looking at my daughter’s chest. 2) I used to be a cardiologist. Charlie: Why are you sterilizing your trousers?...

Good Marriage quotes: Best famous quotes about Marriage Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. – Alan King You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet. – Alan King Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly...