Innocent English

Good quotes about Marriage: Some of the best great quotes about Marriage A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. – Joey Adams In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage....

–Chris, try the crab. It’s really good. –I’m alergic. –I know. –I gave her the Scarcetti money. –God! –Shhh. –Would you have given it to me if I slept with you. –Maybe I’ll just steal it. –Maybe I’ll just shoot you, Chae. –That was pretty good, eh? –Was a little over the top. –Over the top? Which...

–Jeff, you ought to have killed me for what I did a moment ago. –There’s time. –Nice! –Awfully cold around the heart. –What’ll you have? –Coffee. –Nothing else? –Cream. All women are wonders because they reduce all men to the obvious. Build my gallows high. I know a lot of smart guys, and a few...

Here’s another good inspirational story: You Are Loved One of the warmest Christmas memories that I have was the year that I was Santa Claus. I was a young, substitute teacher with a new family just starting out in life. I was called in to work at the local grade school on the last day before the...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Three Cows It was a year I will never forget! 1988 would see my family move back to the States after spending eight of the most rewarding years of our lives in the mission field of Thailand. Our departure was more sudden than we had anticipated, as there...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Jack’s Lily A barking dog in the distance brought Jack out of his sleep and back into consciousness. He lay in the prison cell and curses the emptiness, the loneliness, the blackness around him. Morning was about to dawn, ushering in the anniversary of...

this is the dumbest fuckin’ shakedown in the history of dumb shakedowns. Five hundred bucks for a pillow? (1)Hey, Studs. I didn’t recognize ya’. (2)Hey, Studs man. I haven’t heard that since Lompoc, man. So what’s goin’ on? (1)Ah, nothin’. (1)I thought you were busted. (2)Why’s that? Because you...

Denys would like that. I must remember to tell him. He always brought the grammophone with him on safari. Two rifles, food for seven days – and Mozart!!! I had a compass from Dennis.To steer by, he said. But later it came to me that we navigated differently;maybe he knew as I did not, that the...

–I swear he’s nothing without that badge and gun. –Really? Let me show you something…There’s my gun…And here’s my badge. Fair game now, ok? This is your trophy. This is your trophy! Come and get it! –I offer five thousand for that badge. –What are ya gonna do? Shoot me? I’m outta bullets! –Nope,...

I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller! #1)Oh, you foolish, foolish boys. This is how it all starts. I’ve seen it all before. I was there. I was there. Yeah, it was called the eighties. Ford was president, Nixon was in the white house, and FDR was runnin’ this country into the...

–I noticed that these men were wearing Battle of the Budge ribbons. –There were no ribbons for the Battle of the Budge. –Exactly. These men are imposters. -Flint, I owe you my life. The medic said four more seconds and I… -Three more secords. -Damn it, man, is there anything you don’t know? -A...

1)Listen Mr. Smartypants, we climb UP the ladder, grab the diamond, and get BACK IN THE BOAT 2) Fine, Fine do it your way. That is sooo 80s Abby: Don’t worry i got this whole aussie thing under control! Maddie: i think we should skip cheerleading try-outs! Abby; ya grdfgrewqrfwerfrew Mac: That is...

Tell me, children. What happened the night your mother murdered you? 1) Where’s my daughter? 2) I am your daughter! 1. I don’t believe God made the world in 7 days. and i don’t believe that noah got all those animals onto one boat. and i don’t believe that the dove is the holy spirit 2. I don’t...

#1: Carla, what are you doing? #2: I’m remembering my old room. #1: I know why you’re smiling.#2:WHY? #1: When someone smiles like that, they’re in love. #2: REALLY? #1: Nice underwear. #2: Thanks. I got it from my sisters closet. #1:My favorite song is Michelle my Belle…#2: What? #3:Nothing....

1) Thou art a villain! 2) You are a senator! freakin idiot!(Napoleon) Hell hath no fury such as a womans scorn I HATE the Moor Knavery’s plain face is never seen ’till used. Oh Beware, my lord, of jealousy. ‘Tis the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on. Pleasure and action make...

(ad-line) *What would you do if you found out that your 3 best friends were Soviet Agents?* …. and then there were two AD-LINE: *What would you do if a total stranger proved to you that your 3 best friends were Soviet agents?* Being wrong is not nearly as important as not admitting it. GET OUT NOW....

(1) in the works of the imortal james Brown- get down! (2) james who?? (1) Please your going to make me vomit!(2) Vomit? We couln’d afford no vomit–vomit’s only for rich folks. (1) Excuse me while I wipe my eyes. (2) Aw you wanna talk about wiping?? (1) NO!!!!!! (1) the uvala? what the heck is a...

A dream, a lie, a wager, love. I’d have felt more guilt to have slain a beast. It’s like a kennel for God’s angels. Our whole life is a wager. It’s all in Pascal, you know. What is a man to do, when he has found himself in so unjust a situation? You are an agent of the Lord! You are nothing but...

–Get me an aspirin. Md head’s splitting. –And so’s our marriage. 1) Even in the old days he was known as an honest crook. 2) That’s an oxymoron. 1) Gee, you shouldn’t oughta said that, Doc. 3) Yeah, leave Connie alone. He does the best he can. 1) I wanta go on an African safari, I wanta run with...

Julia : If someone would bring me my coffee every morning before I dressed, I would be very happy. It would change the day. Julia : You did not want a woman to be interested in you just because you owned a pretty bank account. Luis : Um, yes. Julia : Yes. Well, then we have something in common. We...