Innocent English

I caught you a delicious bass. #1- Stay home and eat all the freakin’ chips, Kip. #2- Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I’m training to be a cage fighter. #1- What did you do last summer again? #2- I told you! I spent it with my...

1/ Master, how will we get out? 2/ With some difficulty… 1:Master? 2:Yes? 1: I have something to tell you… 2: I know. How peaceful life would be without love, how safe, how tranquil and how very dull. How peaceful life would be without love. How safe, How tranquil, And how dull. How peaceful life...

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Good Funny quotes: Best famous quotes about Funny You’re only has good as your last haircut. – Fran Lebowitz Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day. – Jay Leno I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. – Groucho Marx I was married by a...

Good quotes about Funny: Some of the best great quotes about Funny I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. – Woody Allen What’s on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement? – Fred Allen Money is better than poverty, if only for financial...

America is not a young land…it is old and dirty and evil. Before the settlers, before the indians. The evil is there…waiting. But who says she’s really a woman?…In fact, who says she’s human at all? What do you mean by that? I can…say no more… Did I ever tell you the story of the man who taught his...

Here’s another good inspirational story: FATHER’S ABC’S A-lways trust your children to God’s care. B-ring them to church. C-hallenge them to high goals. D-elight in their achievements. E-xalt the Lord in their presence. F-rown on evil. G-ive them love. H-ear their problems. I-gnore not their...

Here’s another good inspirational story: DON’T QUIT When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit… By all means pray, and...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Be Still Be Still, and Know that I Am God, My Father said to Me, And I will fill you with My Peace, And set your Spirit Free. You are my Own; I’ve Chosen You: You are Precious in My Sight. Give Me your Heart and I Promise You I’ll be Your Guiding Light. My...

I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don’t recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road...

Jane: Now I know why Ed’s been calling every half hour. You’ve been back on a case, haven’t you? Frank: No, no, I swear, it’s another woman. Jane: In your wildest dreams. [Frank offers Tanya a cigarette] Frank Drebin: Cigarette? Tanya Peters: Yes, I know. (1) I’ve been watching you McGurke. You...

(1) Have you noticed anything different about him? (2) Well, only that he’s a foot taller, and he seems to be left handed now… Frank, what are you trying to tell me? That Quentin has somehow found an exact double for Dr. Mainheimer and that tomorrow that double will give a fraudulent report to the...

–What can you tell me about Mr. Niles’ business? –He ain’t got a business. It’s a dodge. No credit rating. Dropped from his university club for non-payment of dues. Ask a question, get an answer, ask another. I don’t know anything about medicine, Doctor, but that’s one prescription that never cured...

A) Were you bored in Manchester ? B) Was I bored? No I wasn’t fuckin’ bored. I’m never bored. That’s the trouble with everybody – you’re all so bored. You’ve ‘ad nature explained to you and you’re bored with it. You’ve ‘ad the living body explained to you and you’re bored with it. You’ve ‘ad the...

(sung) I am a singing at the parteee! Nacho: Do you remember that one time when everyone was shouting my name and I used my strength to rip my blouse? Esqueleto: Yeah. And I saw them knock you unconscious, alright? Nacho: I’m not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That’s probably why we...

–Do you remember the man’s name? –Do I look senile to you? –I loved her so much. I’m never gonna feel that again. It doesn’t happen twice. –Doesn’t happen once most times. –I’m married, Whitey. –So was Bill Clinton. Didn’t stop him. –What are you looking at? –The old neighborhood. –You guys again?...

…Follow the breadcrumbs… 1)I fucked up. 2)Yeah, but u gave it a 100% effort. 1)is that my fathers shirt? 2)do you think he’ll mind, no? 1: so, is it ok if i sit on the sofa? 2: you can do whatever you want on there. Deal with it junior. Do you think we’ll get that pizza served while it’s still hot?...

#1-Connor? #2-I’m ready John. #1-Birdie you with us? #3-Yep. #1-Good cause the Rangers are starting to breathe through their mouths. Their strides are getting shorter. Do not give these guys too much respect! THEY DIDN’T PULL THE DOG SLED DID THEY? THEY DIDN’T SKATE THE RIVER! 1) Stevie...

Bellboy: At the time of his death, if he were on Jupiter, Elvis would’ve weighed six-hundred and forty-eight pounds. Night Clerk: Six-hundred and forty-eight. Damn. Mitzuko: Jun, why do you only take pictures of the rooms we stay in and never what we see outside while we travel? Jun: Those other...

Oh, poopie! #1. Oh my God my waffle Oh the humanity! #2. May your forehead grow like the mighty oak. #3. This is kind of a small office….oh it the, uh, elevator. (chanting) Mike broke the Hubble! Mike broke the Hubble! *normal view*…normal view….Normal View….NORMAL VIEWWWWWWW!!! 1. Cal, not even a...