Innocent English

. . . compinsate for airconditioning . . . …to hear the people say, that disco is dead…Disco is NOT dead!! Disco is LIFE!! 1) An accident? 2)Yeah he fell down an elevator shaft onto some bullets! 1) Do you know Lance Hunt? 2) It’s me. 1)…? 2) I’m kidding! I’ve always wanted to do that! 1) I am 2)...

Did you ever have the feeling? Hot wives. IS THE POCKET POOP DEAD OF YOU KNINKANPOOP PLESE STEP OUTSIDE Oh my gosh, she looks exactly like Princess Stephanie! and she also looks just like Princess Stephanie! and..and…oh my, they all look like Princess Stephanie… What is sex? Will you tell me the...

–What’s your name, cowboy? –Robert Roberts, Esquire to you, honky! Harlan: …and I got these new lifters… Vince: yeah? Harlan: …I’ll blow Matusky away. Vince: Matusky’s a fag. I kinda feel like gregory peck in the Guns of Naverone One smack in the chones and he’s down Policewoman: Why are you...

Always know where I am by the way the road looks. Any friend of Elena’s is a good friend of mine Blue Eyes. Cherish. Have a nice day! I always know where I am by the way the road looks. Like I just know I’ve been here before. LIke I just know that I’ve been stuck here. I do it for money…when you...

“Cornelia lost her pearls and I got mine!” A scavenger hunt is just like a treasure hunt, except in a treasure hunt you find something of value, and in a scavenger hunt, you find things you don’t want and the one who wins gets a prise, only there really isn’t any prize. It’s just the honor of...

–Is this a game of chance? –Not the way I play it. A man’s kiss is like his signature. A thing worth having is worth cheating for. Any time you’ve got nothing to do, and time to do it… come up. During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Compelled to live on food and water....

–Heaven is like living in the place you love best for all eternity. –So it’d be just like staying here, then, wouldn’t it? It’d be like not dying at all! –They’ve decided to call it asbestos. –It tastes like your mother’s porridge. All that’s on his mind is slanking. He’s French. Did you do it with...

(sung) Smile, when your heart is aching. Smile, even though it’s breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by if you smile through your pain and sorrow. Smile, and maybe tomorrow you’ll see that life is worthwhile, if you just smile. 1) Maybe I should just move to Chnia. One kid per...

1) I’m running away. 2) Where you running to? 1) California, I’m going to Hollywood to live with the Brady Bunch. 2) I wanna live with them too. 1) No, you can’t, they have enough kids, you’ll have to live with the Partridge Family. 1) Your lip bleeding? 2) No. 1) What’s wrong with your eyes? 2) A...

–I find people to be in movies. –They pay for this? That’s so stupid. –You’ve been talking to my father, haven’t you? Cut! Print! Does anyone here speak English? Perfect! Either I’m in heaven or the Miami airport. Either God is in the salvage business or Bigfoot took my car! I don’t like heights....

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A man of few words.A life with more questions than answers.He awoke in me my heart,which beats stronger because of him and all that he has left me.I think it’s time I got out of the elegy business.-J Can I ask you a question?-Randy Sure.-R What are we suppose to talk about?-Randy I don’t know,I’m a...

(In a gay parade) Oh, yeah we march in these things all the time! (pulls the string) Our dreams are like our children! (pulls the string again) Don’t fall into the trap! Democrats are full of crap! 1) Ever have one of her pizzas? It was like a wet dream with a crust. 2) I don’t think I need to hear...

Good Friendship quotes: Best famous quotes about Friendship Yes, we must ever be friends; and of all who offer you friendship let me be ever the first, the truest, the nearest and dearest! – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Many a person has held close, throughout their entire lives, two friends that...

Good quotes about Friendship: Some of the best great quotes about Friendship Friendship… is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything. – Muhammad Ali There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true...

(handing other man a drink) You can watch me, or you can join me. One of the two is more fun. *Chili sauce* ___Stay away from this…. a few drops of this and your tongue dials the fire department –What are you ashamed of? –Everything. 1/_Bye-the-bye Stone, where is this Brooklyn? 2/_Another world...

–You’re sure you don’t love her? –The moment I saw you downstairs, I knew. –Oh, go on. I bet you say that to all your wives. –I could strangle you. 1. We have a warrant for your arrest. 2. You can’t arrest me…..What’s the charge? 1. Bigamy. *2 gasps* 3. BIGAMY?? But she is legally dead, Your Honor!...

Here’s another good inspirational story: JUST FOR TODAY Trust God one day at a time! Just for today! I will begin the day by praying: “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24) Just for today! I will say, “I can do everything through Him who gives me...

Here’s another good inspirational story: God Hath Not Promised GOD HATH NOT PROMISED SKIES ALWAYS BLUE FLOWER STREWN PATHWAYS ALL OUR LIVES THROUGH GOD HATH NOT PROMISED SUN WITHOUT RAIN JOY WITHOUT SORROW BUT GOD HATH PROMISED LIGHT FOR THE WAY STRENGTH FOR THE DAY REST FOR THE LABOR GRACE FOR THE...

Here’s another good inspirational story: A Letter From Home I had a safe trip. The angels carried me safely into Father Abraham’s bosom. Oh, the thrill I felt when I met the one that died for me! And no matter what you’ve heard, there’s just no words to describe the glories that surround him. I’m...