Innocent English

#1: How do you know that?!? #2: I pay attention. (Singing) My wife, has lips, like a blowfish…You know, I don’t see it, but I could be wrong. If I had any talent as a country singer I wouldn’t be sittin’ by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. (various phone conversations)1)Were you on...

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Good Dreams quotes: Best famous quotes about Dreams I don’t design clothes, I design dreams. – Ralph Lauren All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for...

Good quotes about Dreams: Some of the best great quotes about Dreams The point, as Marx saw it, is that dreams never come true. – Hannah Arendt A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. – John Barrymore Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely. – Erma...

–Why do I get the feeling everybody knows we’re here 15 blocks out? –Because everybody knows we’re here 15 blocks out. –Why is this happening to me? –Because you lead a life of crime. 1) Why do I get the feeling that everyone knows we’re here 15 blocks out? 2) Cause everyone here knows we’re 15...

Here’s another good inspirational story: A Tear to the Eye Barbara was driving her six-year-old son, Benjamin, to his piano lesson. They were late, and Barbara was beginning to think she should have cancelled it. There was always so much to do, and Barbara, a night-duty nurse at the local hospital,...

Here’s another good inspirational story: A Little Fellow Follows Me A careful man I ought to be, A little fellow follows me. I dare not go astray, For fear he’ll go the self-same way. I cannot once escape his eyes, Whatever he see me do, he tries. Like me, he says, he’s going to be, The little chap...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Start Over When you’ve trusted God and walked his way, When you’ve felt his hand lead you day by day, But your steps now take you another way….. Start Over When you’ve made your plans and they’ve gone awry, When you’ve tried your best and there’s no more...

–Why do you always assume the worst about people? –Statistics. 1) Wait, I have to put on my thing. 2) What thing?? 1) My diaphram. And you should put on something on too, buddy. 2) We have to use two things? 1) Yeah, I don’t know where you’ve been. 2) I’ve been with your mother! And will you love...

(1): I have to ask you a question. It’s a good one so think about it. If two people love each other, but they just can’t seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough? (2): Never. 1) I’m gonna ask you a question, and it’s a good one okay so think about it. When 2 people...

30 Seconds, damn! DJ: Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s give it up for Meteor Man! Get up! Get up, Meteor Man. I said get up, punk He WAS suffering from third-degree burns. But, there is’nt any scar tissue anywhere. I don’t know how you did that, but you gon’ be gettin’ yours. Punk, you gon’ be gettin’...

(1) Her army is so much smaller. (2) Then her faith will have to be so much bigger. (1) Joan, calm down. (2) I am calm. It’s God that’s angry. (1) What do your voices say? (2) They haven’t spoken to me since the coronation. (1) How do you know they aren’t just you? (2) They are me. That’s how God...

Fact 1. The Ice Cream cone was invented in the summer of 1904 by Charles Menches. It made its debut one year later at the St. Louis World Fair. Fact 2. The idea of Christmas cards was invented by Englishman Henry Cole in 1843. Fact 3. The incidents of immune system diseases has increased over 200%...

Fact 1. The first owner of the Marlboro Company, Wayne McLaren, died of lung cancer. Fact 2. The first penny candy to be wrapped in America was the Tootsie Roll in 1896. Fact 3. The first person to die in the electric chair was William Kemmler, an ax murderer from New York on August 6, 1890. Fact...

Fact 1. The cross bow was invented by the Chinese and records of its usage goes back to as far as the Three Kingdom Period (220 a.d.-280 a.d.). Fact 2. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. Fact 3. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II,...

-And you’ll just forget about me, right? -Every day. -Have you lived here your whole life? -Not yet. -Teresa, I don’t want to lose you. -Then don’t. Choose between yesterday and tomorrow. I could not ask for more. I like milk with pizza If I was 150 years younger, you’d be in trouble young lady If...

(Tag-line)Once there was a place where the earth was soaked with blood and tears, but that is where the brightest flowers grew *AD-LINE* They were all men of honour. But, oh, what deeds were done in the name of honour. 1/ What’s your first name, Lawrence? 2/ John 1/ John Lawrence….. goodnight John...

(To Charlotte who is complaining about moving) Life is change. Death is: (rachel flax in unison with kate flax) dwelling on the past or staying in one place too long. 1)Well in elementary school she licked a chalkboard and claimed to have visions.2) What did you do? 1) We moved. 1: Great idea,...

(1) Would you mind if I told you something personal? (2) Yes, Roger. I really would. -Nick, I can’t believe you look so good for someone so old. How do you do that? -Drugs, my dear. Massive doses of drugs. 555-2934. Cubs are in a slump. Get a med tech in here! Happy Birthday, Nick! How’s a guy...

1-I feel sorry for your mother. 2-What’d you say about my momma? Any of ya’ll want some chesseburgers? What? I got them from, aaamh, Basehead… Any yall wanna Hamburger? Whats Wrong? You dont want no Hamburger? Any yall wanna Hamburger??? Break yoself nigga, break yoself Chauncy: Why don’t you come...