Innocent English

10,000 points to laugh like crazy about!! bongiorno principessa! Buono giorno Principessa! Did you hear that? She said she likes it when I suddenly appear! Don’t worry — what worse can they do to me than paint me yellow and write on me ‘Achtung! Jewish waiter! Guido: I forgot to tell you. Dora: Go...

Have him put it on a separate line. At Christmas, we’ll pact it so full of lights, we’ll make God wear sunglasses. (Robin)George i did say he could go. (George)He is not spending the entire summer with some KID in Tahoe. He can hate me! You can hate me! He can try to kill while I’m sleeping. I...

1) Can you hear the Jack Whales singing? (noise like a Tanker’s horn) 2) Beautiful. I wonder what they are saying. 1) Well that was the sludge tanker over there, but. (different noise) There you go. 1) I’m gonna fight you Steve. (Steve smiles, then hits him) 2) You never say I’m gonna fight you...

These men tried to kill me. For that, they have died. They were bad men and their whores weren’t ladies. buzzards God must have directed my bullets. I want peace – and I don’t care who I have to kill to get it. Maybe this isn’t the way it was…it’s the way it should have been. That bear’s drunker...

1) How much would it cost to turn one of them WHITE-ONLY pies into nigga pies? 2) How ’bout I turn Y’ALL inta nigga pies?! 1)Why say nasty shit for Ray? 2) Because im a nasty mother fucker 1-Put a lil on your step I dont want these country folks to think im from around here 2- they know by the way...

(1) Boy, get off my truck! (2) Sir, you can’t do this to my car! (1) Boy, I’ve driven with deer, antaloupe, even a bear on that hood. Ain’t no 60 pound of flesh like you gonna make a difference. (1) Hey dad, did you take a look at that brochure I gave you? (2) Yeah (3) And what did you think? (4) A...

1) And if I could ask you to sign the registration cards… 2) My executive secretary, Miss Kennedy, will take care of that. 3) Is Ms. Kennedy and why can’t you be my executive secretary? 3) We’re South of the border, it’s a man’s world. (Krest):”And then he threw the pilots out and flew away”...

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Hey…where’s the jawbone of your ass? It says he killed seven men with the jawbone of an ass! It’s Sinatra sir…you can’t walk out on sinatra it’d be too disrespectful Life is made of a few big moments and a few little ones… a lot of images fade, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get them back…If...

do the claw to mom, dad, do the claw to mom! * oh no, you’ve found the claw’s only weakness…sub zero temperatures..eeeooh pff Jane: Hi Mr. Reede! Like the new dress? Fletcher: Whatever takes the focus off of your head! #1 My teacher says true beauty is on the inside #2 Thats just something ugly...

Everything happens in threes For our homeland. Until the very last man. Our duty is to stop the enemy right here. Do not expect to return home alive. He studied the Americans. So he knows how to beat them. I am determined to serve and give my life for my country. I don’t know anything about the...

–Ong Chi Seng, what are you getting out of this? –Two hundred dollars, sir, and the great satisfaction of being of service to you and our client. Are you going to let them hang me? I don’t remember anything … just the reports one after another till there was a funny little click and the revolver...

Riggs: I’ll draw his fire and you run for cover! Murtaugh: No! No, no, no! I’ll draw his fire and you run for cover! Riggs: What are you, out of your mind? You got a wife, kids! I got a lot less to lose than you! Murtaugh: Riggs, I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but Lorna’s pregnant and you’re...

–Where did you learn to fight like that? –Catholic school. -I hope that when I do retire your new partner is just like you. -That won’t happen to me because there are winners and there are losers and God wouldn’t do that to me. 1) That was close 2) Close is a lingerie shop without a front window...

— This stinks! — I don’t give a fuck, Riggs……… That’s why I don’t have an ulcer, because I know when to say *I don’t give a fuck* -Certain policemen in this city have become an intolerable nuisance. They are obviously onto us again. How do you propose to handle the situation? -Warn them off. It’s...

Murtaugh: Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself?! Riggs: Oh, for Chriss— Murtaugh: Shut up! Yes or no–you wanna die?! Riggs: Oh, I got the job done! What the hell do you want?! Murtaugh: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION! Riggs: Well, what do you wanna hear, man?! Do you wanna hear that...

–Eight’s the one. I’d stake my life on it. –They’re got a two dollar minimum bet. –There’s a fine line between winning and losing. –Yeah, the finish line. Bet the horse heavy…you’ll laugh all the way to the bank! Can’t you people just watch the horses? Do yo have to bet on them? Even when you know,...

1:watch out for sharks! 2:what about you? 1:aw, they know me! Bump ‘n grind. Clay: Are you happy, Blair? You don’t look happy. Blair: But do I look good? Clay: Just leave with me! There’s no reason for you to stay. Not here, not in LA. Julian: Jesus! Do I look like I’m ready for homework? Fight...

A friend with weed is a friend indeed. a lep in da hood Bartender: Damn you one ugly motherfucker Leprechaun:no man u must be tripin id share if youz jus’ as’ me why you got ta be stealin’ from me all da time? jesus loves me this i know. if he dont ill find a hoe. his momas name was mary-jo. he...

-What are you? -Isn’t it obvious? The clover on me hat? the buckles on me boots? why im a leprechaun…shoe maker by trade…and speakin of shoes… youres could use a shinin… but first, tell me where my gold is or ill bite your ear off…and ill make a boot out of it. Bad shop owner…bad shop owner… By the...