Innocent English

(1)What is my name?! (2)Rumplesilitzkin! haha…gottcha! 1) I’m sorry, Magician, but you were going the wrong way. 2) Well, it was a short cut! 1. The magic chose the shape, not I. I am a bearer,I am a dwelling, I am a messenger…2. You are an idiot! Haggard: You may come and go as you please. My...

‘Nor I you’? We’ll have to rewrite the scene and reshoot it. –How old are you? –I’ve lost track. About thirty-five, I think. All writers are children. Fifty percent of them are drunks. Don’t forget we’re in the middle of a depression. I always wanted to hit ten million dollars. I don’t think I have...

Paul: I created the truth out of what people needed and what they believed. If I have to crucify you to save the world, then I’ll crucify you. And if I have to resurrect you, then I’ll do that too, whether you like it or not. Father why have you forsaken me I struggle. You collaborate. If you were...

1) I’m the Little Red Riding Hood and you’re the wolf. What strong arms you have! 2) The better to squeeze farts out of you, my dear.1) What long nails you have! 2) The better to scratch your ass with. 1) Oh, what a lot of fur you have! 2) The better to let your crabs hide in. 1) Ooh, what a long...

1) …and did Galoka think that the Yooloos were too ugly to save? 2) Who’s Galoka? 3)Nevermind. 1)I’ll have everything figured out by the time we reach the frontier(BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP) 2)What’s that? 1)…..The frontier. 1. Don’t worry I’ll have it all figured out by the time we reach the Frontier....

–Have you ever seen a man bleed to death? I’ve seen that, many times. –Why have you seen that? –I used to produce music videos. –She must think this is a big movie. –Maybe it is a big movie. A lot of great actresses started out in porn. Bring me my back brace and my banjo! I see you noticed my...

*Japan is a very old place. We must embrace new ways. The first think we need to do, is learn how to make a good watch. *That will never happen! *They are Samurai. You know Samurai? **Yes, thats 2 fat men wrestling in a circle. *No, that is Sumo. Samurai are warriors, sumo is fake. *Tora, Tora,...

–Mama, you married Daddy when he was poor and he got rich, didn’t he? –I scared your daddy into getting rich, beautiful. You’re not scary enough. A fool such as I. Being crazy about a woman…is always the right thing to do. Being a decrepit old bag of bones – that’s ridiculous, getting old. Chicken...

I guess you’ll just have to forgo the pleasure of hangin’ me… #1) Whoever they are, though they are strangers, they are at least entitled to a Christian burial. They cannot be left behind. #2) Let us go miss. #1) I will not. I’ve seen the face of war before, sir, but i have not seen it waged on...

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At least I know where she is at night. Divorce is one of America’s biggest growth industries. Everything seems disposable. I feel that we must be the last married couple in America. Everything’s a disposable. Nothing’s permanent. Neighbors split up, friends split up. I’m divorced – third time. But...

-Looks like you’ll have to kill me. -It’ll hurt if I do. -You wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man in the back, would you? -I’ve done worse than that. Everybody ends up dead. It’s just a matter of when. I don’t want to die in Texas. New York or Chicago maybe. But not Texas. I was born without a...

I like jearmie rain she was a real horror in the last house on the left and she is really curte I wonder what the meanest, foulest, rottenest, woodsiest sex crime ever was? Piss your pants THERES ELEVEN CRATES OF CHICKENS ON THIS TRUCK SHERIFF, AND THAT AINT HAY! Tits..what is this tits business!?!...

(Taunts from the lady fighters) I would love to peel this banana. Come on handsome, show us your stuff. How’s about a little kiss on my fist?! You look scared to me! 1: Who am I? Group: SHONUF!! 2:Who’s the biggest, baddest, mofo, low-down around this town? Group: SHONUF! 1: Who’s the master? 2: I...

–I know it was an act for her, but I think she really liked me. –She probably did, kid. They have feelings like everyone else. –Was it in the nature of a serious offense? For example, was it in the nature of a felony or a misdemeanor? –Well, it was in the nature of shoplifting. Best goddamn drink...

(describing Lady and the Tramp)There is something depressing about it and it’s not really about dogs. Except for some superficial bow-wow stuff at the start, the dogs all represent human types which is where it gets into real trouble. Lady, the ostensible protagonist, is a fluffy blond cocker...

-I’m taking control of your prison. -Like hell you are! -I’ve been hearing some pretty disturbing things about what goes on in here. -Until you’ve spent some time in the yard with those animals, you have no idea what happens in here. -They want your resignation…and so do I. -Then I guess I’d better...

(1)Alright, you want it in the chest, or the head? (2)Yeah, that’s what your wife said. (1)Hey man, stop with the wife shit! (2)Ask me how fat she is. Ask me. (1)How fat is she? (2)She’s so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. If you wanna fuck her you gotta slap her thigh and...

(1)Bullshit, Gary. He took her to the football field to bust her cherry and you know it. (2) slaps (1) (1)Busy day for you today, huh? (2)Are you here to interview me or to fuck me? (1)it’s down… there (nods to crotch) (2)Your balls itch? (2)(nods) (1)You’ve got crabs! (in a hushed voice) Would you...

-How’d you know someone was in there? -There’s always someone in there. It costs me a fortune in closet doors. -OK, I got one. What about this girl right here. She is way too attractive to be working in a video store. -I agree with you. I think she should be working with us. Under cover, of course....