Innocent English

dad faith fixed my knee DAD: Lily LILY: I hate her, i hate her DAD: I’m sorry honey brenda didn’t mean to… LILY: Not her DAD: Well what is it honey tell me LILY: Why’d she leave me DAD:Faith LILY: No, mom, mom DAD: Sweetie, mom didn’t want to leave you, it was an accident she didn’t want to go...

(Singing) Forgiveness is more than saying sorry. .no its ok i’m good with my water…..mmmm..i’m stuffed! 1. She’s okay. She’s got her toothpaste. 2. Blueberry. 1. Was this one of your plans? 2. Yeah, I planned for you to set the plane on fire! 1. When you become friends, you become a completely...

–Did you kill her? –I ain’t gonna tell you if I killed that little girl or not. Did you kill her? Every now and then, you have to get a little bloody. It’s good for the soul. If that’s a confession my ass is a banjo!!! Killing is easy for me. How hard do you think lying is? They’re going to kill my...

Â

Facts 1. A volcano has enough power to shoot ash as high as 50 km into the atmosphere. Facts 2. A white tiger can only be born when both parents carry the gene for white colouring. Facts 3. A woman has approximately 4.5 litres of blood in her body, while men have 5.6 litres. Facts 4. A women from...

Facts 1. A duck�s quack doesn�t echo, and no one knows why. Facts 2. A ear trumpet was used before the hearing aid was invented by people who had difficulty hearing. Facts 3. A fall of 30 feet can be survived my most cats. Facts 4. A famous bullfighter, Lagarijo, killed 4,867 bulls in the 19th...

Facts 1. “Bookkeeper” is the only word in English language with three consecutive double letters. Facts 2. “dous”:tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. Facts 3. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”. Facts 4. “Go.” is the shortest complete sentence in the...

But mom where will Peanut and I eat,sleep,and watch T.V. GUILTY! Hey it’s the juice. Run, O.J., run! Hey look mom, safe sex!! Peanut loves Jeopardy. Principal Beasley!!! Ah Mr Collins, still hanging out in the boys room I see?! Why that’s sweeter than a catfish doing the backstroke in the shallow...

–Are you saying you have heard nothing about this case? –No, sir. I haven’t. All you have to say are two words. Annie Laird…I thought it might be you. Don’t worry. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I need a little excitement. If I serve on judy duty, would I be safe? Not guilty. WHO WILL...

1) Are you telling me-is this Tyrannosaurus Rex urine? 2) Yep. 1) How’d you get it? 2) You don’t wanna know. 1) I read both of your books. I liked the first one more. Before you were on the island. You liked dinosaurs back then. 2) Back then they hadn’t tried to eat me yet.] 1/ Did you read...

lets take a look at this six foot turkey shall we.Unlike t-rex you stand still and he’l lose you, you stare at him him he just stares right back.Thats when the attack comes,not from the front…but from the sides.The other two raptors you didnt even know they were there.And he slashes at you with...

–If this world’s all for the winners, what’s for the losers? –Well, somebody’s got to hold the horses. Bound to be back again. But, Curly, this time, I’m talking about Australia…gold. I don’t want you to turn out like the old man. I’d fed up to here with your schemes. I’m too lazy to work, too...

1) (soothing 2, who’s in labor) OK, look, let’s imagine a garden with trees and birds cheeping, cheep, cheep, cheep. 2) (clamps a hand over 1’s mouth) Let’s imagine drugs. 1) You think you’re the first clown who woke up and said ‘I think I’ll have a kid’? 2) I didn’t say that. Why are you being so...

1)Here it comes. The Victoria Cross bit again. 2)It was then that I was given the Victoria Cross bit for bravery. Haha, those were the days! Discipline (shakes the stick) discipline was attained! Builds character, and all that sort of thing you know (leans on the stick and breaks it). Uhhh, where...

1) His name is Mimi Siku. Roughly translated, it means ‘cat piss’. 2) ‘Cat piss’? 1) You Pinare now. Pick a name 2) You pick for me. 1) Ukume. It means ‘sound of rain on river. 2) Ukume. It’s pretty. 1): Dad keeps everything in the bookcase 2): Andrew! 1): Behind the Bible and Judith Kranz 3) Thank...

1. How do you want your drink? 2. In a glass. I’ve had measles once. Now I’m immune. Must be like living in a wallet. Nothing that being eighteen again wouldn’t cure. Well, I guess I’m allergic to career women. Had enough of that when I was a kid. My mother was the president of a lumber company....

#1Just beacause your a parrish doesn’t mean you can hang around with my girlfriend.#2Whe’re just friends.#1Not anymore.Get’m.#2(punched in the eye)OOF.#1I got his bike.#2(geting up)JRERKS!(wipes his blood off) #1You didn’t have to,I was going over to Billy’s to get it myself.#2I told Billy to stop...

Cowards die many times before their death; The valiant never taste of death but once. Et tu Brute?, then fall Caesar. (Dies) Flavius: Hence! Home, you idle creatures, get out home! Is this a holiday? What, know you not, Being mechanical, you ought not walk Upon a laboring day without the sign Of...

…otherwise you ain’t shit 1:You crazy man 2:You know the last time you said that, I was kind’a trippin right? But now… You’re right. I AM crazy. And you know what else? I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck about Raheem, I don’t give a fuck about Steel,I don’t give a fuck about you, shit, I...

(singing) Fallon is the championnnnnn …I freely admit, in front of everyone here, thats you are still the guv’ner! 1/ And you still think we should give way to people like that? 2/ You make people like that! 1/ Buckland 2/ Ahhh ’tis a joyous sound… 1/ Did I ever tell you you’re a good man, Charlie...