Innocent English

#1 … untill Sean arrivies with the ship. #2 Okay I heard the ship part, but was that Sean get the ship? #1 Yeah, yeah. #2 Oh, eh… oh. #1-They’re making our parents dance soo lame! #2- No, my dad really dances like that. ‘Never been seen’ huh? Howdya know it’s in there? …and their noses started to...

‘Treason doth never prosper,’ wrote an English poet, ‘What’s the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.’ -I can’t…I can’t believe they killed him because he wanted to change things. In our time. In our country. -Well, they’ve been doing it all through history. Kings are killed, Mr....

-Do not worry. I’m sure it’s not my destiny to die on this mountain. -What about us? -That’s another ballgame. are we jogging? As always, zilch for poor old Ralphie. Don’t be ridiculous! Jack would never die without telling me. Freaks come out at night. Here, keep it always. His favorite author is...

COSMIC COSMO: Hey, what’s YOUR name? JUDY: (flustered) Uh, J-J-Judy. COSMIC: Well, J-J-Judy, we got a date Friday night! MR. SPACELY: JETSON?! I wouldn’t hire Jetson if Spacely Sprockets was going bankrupt! If I needed a transfusion! If I lost my stockholders! My home! If I were peniless!...

Christ!!!! Thats a mighty fine pair a Sandles ya got there! How much ya after for the buckles? Always thought that I’d be an apostle Knew that I could make it if I tried Then when we retire, we can right the Gospels So they’ll all talk about us when we die. but what is truth? is truth unchanging...

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–By the Almighty, he is going to hang. –Suppose Jesse doesn’t want to be hanged. After the tragic war between the states, America turned to the winning of the West. The symbol of this era was the building of the transcontinental railroads. The advance of the railroads was, in some cases, predatory...

#1 I banged a broad on my parents bed once, it was nice. #2 Terrific #1 wnat me to give her the ol’ boobie talk my mom gave me? #2 yeah, stay away from my kid ‘Cats’ is the second worst thing that ever happened to New York. –I just think we got off on the wrong foot is all. –The wrong foot? You...

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren’t completely embarrassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow’s embarrassment? #1- I’m from Arizona Jerry. I broke Arizona records. #2- Rod? #1- I went to Arizona State. #2- Rod? #1- I’m a Sun Devil man! ( #1 talking to #2) 1) Shut up… Just shut up. You had...

1. I’ll have two Bob Burgers and two side orders of frizzy fries please. 2. OK then hot spicy lamby nipple chops with sour sauce on them. 1. My mom came home the other night and she poured hot grease over my ass , my back and my genitals, and then my shoes fell off. 2. What has that got to do with...

#1. Now listen here, boy. See that? That’s shit. And this….this is Shinola. (1)Hey mister, don’t call that dog lifesaver.(2) No?? 1()Call him SHITHEAD. (1)You mean I’m gonna STAY this color?!?!?! (2)Naven, I’d love you if you were the color of a baboon’s ass. (looks at newspaper and gasps) Stolen!...

#1 Y’EVER GET LONESOME? #2FER WHAT? #1.WOMAN? #2.FULL TIME NIGHT WOMAN? I NEVER COULD FIND NO TRACKS ON A WOMAN’S HEART. I PACKED ME A SQUAW FOR TEN YEAR, PILGRIM. CHEYENNE, SHE WERE, AND THE MEANEST BITCH THAT EVER BALLED FOR BEADS. I LODGED-POLED HER AT DEADWOOD CREEK, AND TRADED HER FOR A HAWKEN...

Be aware of me, I wish you ill. I suppose I’m the worst witness you’ve ever had. I’m so drunk, I’m sober. If I promise to stop being a cop, will you promise to stop being a witness? Some cars sound fat and some cars sound thin. We don’t have some sixth sense like in a ridiculous novel. Page Topic:...

-Are you waing for something? +Oh, about 3 days… give or take a day or 2. 1. Where did She go? 2. She flew away. 1.Every 23rd spring for 23 days it gets to eat. 2.Eat what?……..Eat what? [turns around]. 1.Us. Darry~ every 23rd spring for 23 days it gets to eat. Mynxi~ Eat what? Mynxi~ EAT WHAT?...

That’s….not my scarecrow. (Darry): You broke my heart in two….now I can’t find the..duct tape to put it together for you. When I met you I thought I would die, and I wanted to cry….didn’t know you were evil and that you would hurt me Mr. Polly-si track team guy…. (not quite exactly but yeah) Trish:...

Acapulco. Amazed and Confused. Blue skies. Dirty hands, dirty faces. Hello, again. Is ‘schmuck’ a Jewish word? I just wanted to say something Jewish to you. Mother of mine, I still have you. My Mammy. Wait a minute, wait a minute, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet! You wanna hear ‘Toot, Toot, Tootsie’?...

. . . Not to mention this would be the worst movie since Greedo shooting first. rite hey dude u seem to have a go at all these ppl misquoting the movie, shut the fuck for christ sake, its like u molding ur life on to jay n silent bob, u sad pathetic fuck get a life its a bit of fun. u no there is...

(Mike) What do you when you aren’t flying people? (Hoagie) I deliver laundry. Amity Police Department…Hold it!! At least it sounded better when I was a shepherd. come and get me you son of a bitch! Come and get me!!! Fuck you, you stupid dirty shark that ate my brother and raped my wife! Get your...

(Kelly) I got a better idea. Like lagoons? (Sean) Lagoons? Lagoons… 1)He don’t sleep in, he don’t LIVE in. You tell Shelby Overman for me that he can take a flying leep in a rolling doughnut on a gravel driveway. Is that my beeper or your beeper? I don’t know. I’ll use this beeper. I’ll have my...

(Andy) I wonder why they decided to move. (Brooke) Too hot in the lighthouse? (Mike) Too hot for those two? I don’t believe it. (in a mock British accent) This will be our FINEST hour! AD LINE: *Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water……* Brody: i know what a shark looks like...