Innocent English

1/ Everything with a Reata brand on it is run by me! 2/ Does *that* include me??!! 1.Just remember, one of these days, that bourbon’s gonna kill you. 2.Okay, it’ll be me or it. One of us has gotta go. 1.Money isn’t everything, Jett. 2.Not when you’ve got it. 1.Why, Luz, everybody in this county...

1. I have to go. 2. Where the fuck does everyone go when they have to go?! Dear book, this is another day in my life. A life is like a book. A book is like a box. A box has six sides, an inside and and an outside, so, how do you get to what its inside? How do you get whatas inside out? Once upon...

I don’t know if I’m going to heaven or to hell, but I’m going from Jackson. I don’t know whether I’m going to heaven or hell but I’m going from Jackson Is it ever too late to do the right thing? Murder is murder. And it’s still my job to bring the son-of-a-bitch to justice. And it’s still your job...

Damn Girl, I like you already I’m going to rip your titties off Maybe I would if you were the last man on Earth, but we’re not on Earth Save some hot water for me! That’s the second time I Saved your Life, Yeah run a tab! waste the mindless motherfuckers Who you callin’ sissy boy? Who you calling a...

Dan Phantom: Ahhhh…(sniffs)you smell so warm, soft, tender and delicious. Mmmmm…your blood tastes really good, fresh, warm and tasty. Grrrr…you have such warm, soft and tender skin. Ahhhh…I can see your jugular vein bulging inside your soft, slender neck.(sniffs)Your jugular vein inside your neck...

(Doctor) Yes, tell me about the slime. (Winston) It’s very potent stuff. We made a toaster dance with it. (Doctor) A toaster. (Ray) And a bathtub tried to eat his friend’s baby. (Doctor) (looks at Peter) A bathtub? (Peter) Don’t look at me, I think these people are completely nuts. (Egon) Negative...

Dean Yeager: This university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group’s activities. Doctor Peter Venkman: But the kids love us! Gozer the Traveller – he will come in one of the prechosen forms. During the rectification of the Valdranaii, the traveller came as a large and...

I call this piece ‘Father, Mirror’ and I feel it says so much about who I am and what it feels like to inhabit my specific skin. #1: Hello, my name is Allan and I will be your waiter. Enid: Hi Al. Becky: Can we call you Wierd Al? #1: [Pauses} I’d imagine so. (rap music playing) Who can forget this...

1: I think I just shit my pants! 2: No, you always smell that way! 1: I was in my plane, looking over the sea and I came across this 2: Congratulations! You found a boat! In the middle of the OCEAN! Come with me,I want to show you something. Come withe me.I want to show you something. Dodge: Can I...

1/_How’s Gil? 2/_I don’t know…. and in future, would you please refer to him as *that schmuck!* 1/_So you make it a habit of breaking into scientific facilities? 2/_It’s more like a hobby, really Bram (walks in building sopping wet): Bram walking reporting for duty. Phil (boss looks at watch):...

Old Man: It’s the fucking Birdman! Sonny: Forget about it. Handsome Frank fucked up. You can pay your respects at the funeral. Even if a samurai’s head were to be suddenly cut off he should still be able to perform one more action with certainty; when one becomes like a revengeful ghost and shows...

1. I wish I could have been here for the hunt! 2. No, you don’t. 1/ Well, I’m a very considerate man……. My mother taught me that. 2/ [laughing] 1/ Now, what the hell are you laughing about? You don’t think I’m considerate? 2/ I don’t believe you had a mother. AD LINE: *Prey for the hunters* I am a...

Ah, Lucia, what we’ve missed! What we’ve … both … missed. Captain… I’ve never been mounted from the rear by a GHOST… Much less penetrated by his wooden,aaah… MAST!! Don’t ever let anyone tell you to be ashamed of you figure. Don’t ever let anyone tell you to be ashamed of your figure. I have no...

And the used Bon Ami! ATABOY LUTHER ! ! ! ! ! Calm?!? Do murder and calm go together? Calm and murder? Murder? I guess if you cut me, I’d bleed ink. i threw a book at the bookshelf and woosh it opened i would take good food over bad food any day of the week I’m having chicken soup with Alma Let me...

(MOLLY) Hello? (SAM) Molly– (ODA MAE) Shh! She can’t hear you. Hi, I’m Oda Mae. I called you about your friend Sam Wheat? –Do you love me, Sam? –What do you think? –How come you never say it? –I say it all the time. –You say ‘ditto’. It’s not the same. –I love you. –Ditto. 1) 303 prospect place? 2)...

1 1) Colonel, I’ve been herding these here Rebs with an empty musket. 2) Not so loud. 1) How old are you, son? 2) Sir, 28, sir. 1) What a piece of work is man. How infinite in faculties, in form and moving. How express and admirable. In action, how like an angel. 2) Well, if he’s an angel, all...

( the two men are looking for the coins as Tim has hidden them and in their hand is a treasure map Tim has made, and they stop at a church ) 1) What if it’s not an X? 2) What? 1) What if it’s a cross? ( Hallelujah plays, they enter the church, the big man has a cigarette ) 2) What are you doin’?...

–Dillinger got killed. –Not in a bank. –Hello, Doc. –Hi. –You okay? –I’m a lot better off than I was an hour ago. –It isn’t a game. –It’s all a game. –Just like old times? –Better then old times. –I hope so. I am not looking forward to another stretch. –What happened to Hansen?–He didn’t make...

‘I’ll think about it’ means nothing in L.A. –C18. –Magic number. –I got an idea for a movie. –Doesn’t everybody? –I’m positive, it was Susan Haywood. –No, it was Rita Hayworth and Glenn Ford. –What is it? –An Oldsmobile Silhouette. –I reserved a Cadillac. –Yeah, well, this one’s the Cadillac of...

1: I don’t like coffee. 2: You don’t like kisses. 1: No, she’s cuddly. And until a few seconds ago, you assumed that because i’m a fat girl instead of some slim oil painting i’d be gagging for a quick one in the doorway of Toys R Us. I can just imagine sex with you: pathetic fumbling to find the...