Innocent English

*pinball noises as Jason hits pipes* *Jason falling to the ground* Awww, tilt-Freddy 1 2 freddys cumin for u 3 4 better lock ur door 5 6 grab ur crucafix 7 8 better stay up late 9 10 never sleep again 1: (insert name), what are you doing? I thought you quit. 2: I did! I only smoke when I drink now....

(1)are you dave davidson? (2)I’m a woman! (1)okay, did i ask what sex you were? (2)no.. (1) well, did i ask if you were dave davidson? (1)like a vigialante? (2)YES! YES! Like a vigialante… Like a vigialante rabit. (after being hit by truck) Uhh..Uhh. i didn’t expect that to happen..haa (Gord...

(Anna) Stacey! (Anna hugs Stacy, but Stacey flips Anna in the hot dog stand.)(Anna) Stacey, what are you doing?!?! Whoa! (Harry) GRANDPA! (Grandpa) [hugs Harry] Hey, Monkey! (Harry) [shakes table] GRANDPA! PASS THE MILK!!! (Grandpa)EARTHQUAKE!!!! (Harry)[shakes the table] GRANDPA!!! PASS THE...

I wonder if they’re still casting Gremins 3. I’d sell my soul just to be able to wipe my own ass! Into ‘da den wit you man…dem go in, dem never come out…rasta-far-eye Look he’s not a real sock puppet! He’s just a hand under there! Booooo! thirteen milkmen is theoretically possible Thirteen milkmen...

1: I have gas right now like you wouldn’t believe. 2: Ok, that’s a little more information than I needed to know. 1: I was wondering if tonight, you know, we could get together and just have sex? 2: Can I bring my boyfriend? 1: There are four stages of consciousness development. 2: I suppose you’re...

(1 and 2)Welcome to Palm Springs you assholes! (1)Oh Chrissy! Did I tell you what my gynocologist said? (2)No, what? (1)Some doctor in France thinks he’s found a cure for herpes. (1)What did they arrest you for? (2)For being overly affectionate to an undercover vice squad officer. (1)Why don’t I...

(1) Okay, I’m scared. Are you? (2)I’m scared shitless. Go on. –What kind of music do you like? –What? Oldies. I like oldies. –Oldies? Yeah, me too. You like this? –This? This is not old. –Well, three, four years. Richard: I’m at Café of the Paris Midi. Voice on pay phone: Paris…how do you...

‘Beginner’s Luck’ ‘Come Along’ ‘Frankie and Johnny’ ‘Please Don’t Stop Loving Me’ (Cora)Hey Tino! Who do I have to fuck to get a waffle? (Tino indicates himself) (Cora to customer)Forget the waffle! (Dora)She didn’t tell you about the gold pumps? (Tim)He wore gold pumps?! (Frankie)You’re not being...

Burn the mill! Burn it down! Burn the mill! But soon, I shall die, and what I now feel be no longer felt. Soon these burning miseries will be extinct. I shall ascend my funeral pile triumphantly, and exult in the agony of the torturing flames. The light of that conflagoration will fade away; my...

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Butthole! I still can’t figure out what these gloves are for… It’s me, Fenton! I’m not the demon! Let me out! Maybe you’re not right in the head. We don’t kill people, we destroy demons You can’t make things like that up, son. Killing people is wrong, destroying demons is good. Don’t worry, God...

(goldies dad)-i won’t press charges i swear.(legs)-i will kill u i don’t care. Do you wanna come inside my house, Do you wanna show me things I’ve never seen before. I don’t wanna tie you down, I just wanna tie you up. Do you wanna come inside my house? do you wanna come inside my house? do you...

1)Careful Woman, that things loaded! *Bang* 2) Now it ain’t! 1. Cmon Chief lets play like we used too 2. You know this was your problem on the hunt 1. Come on! (They cross with a quails family) Look, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven…Oh, I think six… would be just right. 2. Six? Six what?...

1. Bride or groom? 2. It should be perfectly obvious I’m neither. 1. Forgive me, my lord, for the things I’m about to say in this beautiful place. Bugger! 2. Is there anything I can help you with, my son? 1. No, no. Vocal exercises. Big church. 1. Hello, I’m Charles. 2. Don’t be ridiculous! Charles...

Anne Callan: I’ll tell you what, To hell with Nick. Tell him it’s a goddamn boa-constrictor. Are we having fun yet? Do you know how painful it is to want to love someone? Face it, you are married to a middle-aged woman with a good sense of humor and dry skin. I never met anyone who knew so much...

1) Looking after your kids is a pain in the ass I don’t need. 2) You calling my kids a pain in the ass? 1) Oh, no sir! They’re not a pain in the ass, it is the situation that’s a pain in the ass. 2) …No, you were right the first time. They’re a pain in the ass. 1)But I’ve never even met you people...

You may be lost but you are not forgotten. The soldier’s greatest comfort is to have his friends close at hand. In the heat of battle it ceases to be an idea or a flag for which we fight. Rather we fight for the man on our right or left. When the years fall away all that remains are the memories of...

–How the hell you gonna pay for all this? –Government redevelopment loan. Easy to qualify. Low interest rates. 1)Hell, she would’ve been glad you made it back for her funeral 2) I didn’t come back for no funeral Enjoy the rest of your game. He’s a good kid. He just…needs a big brother. If you keep...

1. Beware… the dwarf. 2. Scotty, I don’t think there is a dwarf in this movie. Binoculars! You’re into that too? Cojack! Bang Bang! dying man in movie theater: There’s going to be a murder./ lady: Oh, I’m sure of it! Far Out! goldie:then i stabbed him with the my needles.. officer: ahh…narcotics…...

–Bring me back a corned beef on rye, hold the butter, easy on the mustard, and a strawberry milkshake. –Anything else? –A pack of Tiparillos. –FAKE! All these new-fangled machines…fake! They prove nothing! In the old days, we used to do these things better. A man says he is paralyzed, you simply...