Innocent English

—I’m gonna do you you now , in one minute what it took the United States Army 6 months to do for me…… —Whats that???? —Nothing!!!….and you dont even have to thank me for it……. 1: I need you to give me some information. 2: I’ll give you some information. You’re standing in pigshit. 1: The speed...

(to himself) Paul…Paul…Paul for President…Promise…Progress… Peanut. 1)I’m not like you okay? 2)What do you mean? 1)I’m not a DYKE! 1)Not wasting any time, are you, Tracy? 2)Well you know what they say about the early bird. 1)Yes…I do. 1)She’s trying to get back at me. 2)For what? 1)I mean at you....

Over the mountains of the moon, down the valley of the shadow, Ride boldly ride. Always liked that poem, too. Make me want to … #2- Ride boldly ride? #1- Don’t you know better than to follow a man that way? #2- Sorry. I didn’t know there was another way. #1- Gaily bedight a gallant knight, in...

–These guys don’t look so tough. –Yeah, that what Custer said when the Idians took the field. Chick Gandil: You go back to Boston and turn seventy grand at the drop of a hat? I find that hard to believe. Sport Sullivan: You say you can find seven men on the best club that ever took the field...

(Chris and Harlan are in the roof.Suddenly alots of spiders come right them.Harlan try to get them back, and Chris try to call help soon as possible) Woman voice in the phone:You call emergy call. Chris.Yes, my name is Chris McCormick,and we need help, our town has been attacked by giant...

‘John, did you sanction all of them.’ ‘John, did you sanction all of them?’ ‘You carried beer all the way up here?’ ‘No. You did.’ ‘YOU wanna climb the Eiger?’ 1) I’m going to turn you in to my superiors 2) That doesn’t narrow it down much, now does it? a climber always brings home his dead Don’t...

Honest, Roxy! I believe you! I swear on my Elvis Presley LP! It must be the sulfur in the walls of his cave that has kept this creature alive for all these years. It’s my tires….they’re filled with water! WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES! WEEEEEEE!! WOW-WEE WOW-WOW! You sure look swell Roxy! Page Topic: Movie...

(1) Hold me. (2) I can’t… (1)It’s not heaven he’s from. It’s straight from the stinking flames of hell. The power of satan is in him. I can feel it. God, you have the poor sheep strayed so far from the path. (2) We are not sheep. (1)Don’t come near me. (1)Speaking of money, I understand you are not...

–What do you want to know? –Everything. 1. I’m a hairdresser. 2. Oh dear. By choice? 1: Are you fond of Ferlengetti? (sp!) 2: Only when its served with Parmesean Cheese definition of a word . Rita said does not rhyme Don’t you just ADORE Mahler? Every time y’ try an’ write a letter or a note with...

#1 Well this is quite the shit hole isn’t it? #2 It could be if you fixed it up. #1 What’d I miss. #2 He’s checking out his own arse. #1 You’re in show business? #2 Yeah, ….. I’m in video servicing. (1) One more word out of you, Cynthia, and you’re fired. (2) Oh, and which word would that be?...

You know I once read an interesting book that said that most people who get lost in the wild, that they die of shame. 1) For all my life, I’ve wanted to do something that was, .. that was unequivocal. 2) Well, Charlie, I certainly think this qualifies. 1. Why is the rabbit unafraid? 2. Because he’s...

(Making fun of Michael Jackson) Hey, can I talk to you for a minute!……I can moon walk all up and down your ass!!! …I’ll see you later! (Talking like a bushbitch) Eddie….I want to talk to you….I’m an american woman now Eddie, I want whats coming to me! …..HALF!… 1/ Do the people laugh?! 2/ Yes 1/ Do...

‘ello look i’m lord vader and just pay abloodytention, alright luke, luke the force is quite strong with you is it yeah well who told you that uh, some bloke. yeah he said the force is really rather strong with you. well how strong as strong as a small pony well that’s quite strong that is. 1: Cake...

–I wanna do somethin’ nobody’s ever done before…somethin’ great. –We ain’t great. We’re just some guys from Jersey. 1. See, my way, with a cesarian. 2. A what? Guys like you and me, they strike oil under our gardens and all we get in dead tomatos. Hey man you got some fine college here, all the...

And the number one reason Eddie Franklin has the Knicks playing so well…Co-ed showers! Ivan Make Basket Man,quit referring to yourself in the third person and pay attention,asshole. Muggsy-You can’t coach. Eddie- You can’t play looking like a little roach. Since In The United States, Ivan Learn...

1) Cut! Print! That was perfect! 2) Perfect? Mr. Wood, don’t you know anything about the art of film production? 1) Well, I like to think so! 2) That cardboard headstone fell over…this graveyard is obviously phony! 1) No one will ever notice! Filmmaking is not about the little details. It’s all...

–We did it, man. We did it. We did it. We’re rich, man. We’re retirin’ in Florida now, mister. –You know, Billy, we blew it. –What’s ‘dude’? Is that like ‘dude ranch’? –Dude means nice guy. Dud means a regular sort of person. –Where ya from, man? –Hard to say. 1. What is that? 2. Just shut up and...

2 4 6 8 10, 2 4 6 8 10 555-1122. Hey Belinda, you want some of my home fries, I can’t finish my home fries. Hey leave him alone thats my friend. O yea who are you. Who am I… Im the guy who put the toilets in this dump. Yea now i know why this place smells like shit. I am so bad I should be in...

At least they’re not inbred like those two monstrosities! Bouncer: Where d’ya think you’re going ‘smiler’? frigg off and wash your bastard curtains you dirty cow he make a bloddy show of meh!!! i bloody fix you im an art student dad, its art Im not old enough to get married so don’t even ask no...

–Do you remember what happened with that guy Merle? I still don’t think his gun went off by accident. –You get along just fine with nine toes. Albert Schwertzer wasn’t that dedicated to mankind. Earthquakes bring out the worst in some people. Give me your pantyhose, damnit! Have they plotted the...