Innocent English

‘I loved that bitch… and he betrayed me!’ … ‘He?’ ‘You dig?’ … ‘Yep.. that part of the job? Diggin’?’ ‘You shot Walter!’ … ‘I only nicked him…’ (Talking to his thing) ‘You okay there buddy?’ (Whirring noise in the background) 1. What the hell is that? 2. Uh, thats the call of the uh, Jarra Jarra...

(singing) If I give my heart to you….. I’ll have none and you’ll have two…. –Oh no, you can’t take my photograph. –Oh, I’m sorry, you believe it will take your spirit away? –No, you got the lens-cap on. 1. Hey, do you know where a man can get a bloody croc around here? 2. How would I know. Shit for...

If you got something to say to me say it in private and if privacy doesen’t permit itself then you bite your fucking tongue. Captain Ramsey: Sonar/Conn- Report hostile contact. Petty Officer Rivetti: Conn/Sonar- Uh, we lost him, sir. Ramsey: Well, keep looking. He’s out there looking for us....

–Guess that makes us lucky. –I’ll settle for smart. –Who does he owe it to? –This guy. This Russian guy. –If I were you, I’d get a new old man. I don’t feel anything for them, okay? They’re marks. It’s my experience people are more likely to give money to someone who looks like they already have...

“Lenny works out in the garden wearing the lime green gloves of a dead woman.” I didn’t like his stinking looks. I had a bad day. I’m having a real bad day. I’m not liberal…I was just lonely. Oh, how I love birthday cake. Those polka dots just dripped right into the water. we just have to figure...

B movies have always been my inspiration. China Blue, alias Joanna Crane, alias Peter Shane. I’m a hooker. You’re a trick. Why ruin a perfect relationship? It’s truly an honour to be named ‘Miss Liberty 1984’. Stop, we just got cable. This is the fantasy business, Reverend. You can have any truth...

–He wants to produce something of mine. –Yeah, your first child. –He’s an American phenomenon. –Yeah, like acid rain. –I told you I’m putty in your hands. –What am I gonna do with a handful of putty? –If you play your cards right, you could have my body. –Wouldn’t you rather leave it to science?...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Â Actual Medical Record Entries Mistakes From Doctors Discharge status: alive but without permission. The patient has...

–Could we see a wine list? –That’s cute. –The morons are my friends. –Your friends are bumbling idiots. Danke Schoen. I’ll find you. Wherever you go, I’ll find you. I’m glad he didn’t get something flashy. I’m glas he didn’t get something flashy. No smoking? No drinking? What kind of country is...

Don’t touch me unless you love me! R: You were watching us, weren’t you? Well, were you? V: Um….. R: You like taking pictures? V: Yeah. R: Why don’t you take one? Come on, *******. That’s your name, right? Take one. (V snaps picture) R: Was it a good one? R: Do you think that I could…Do you think...

Did you know my man here was rich? Well his old man’s rich! His old man bought him a firebird. A fuckin firebird that’s gonna take us all to Hollywood! AND ONE MORE STEP AND BLAAAM! Good Afternoon Martha Spruce Hey buddy! What the fuck happened? Loco! Move old lady or I’m gonna cut off your old...

‘Where’s my cake Bedilla!? you bitch!’ you called me a bitch!! Bastards! EWW..meteor shit! Gotta cool th’ sumbitch off…that’s the ticket! Harry, your maiden is waiting for her knight in shining cordoroy… I always keep my promises, Harry I can hold my breath for a long long time I can hold my breath...

( Carlos’ mate at the beach )Whaaaaaaat, why u always follow me maaaaaan?! –You’re crazy. –You’re beautiful. 1) why dont you stay for dinner? Rosa’s making some of her delicious stuffed chilli rienos 2)Rienos means stuffed! 1): Come to get me into trouble again? 2): Nah. We’re off duty. We’re not...

…And if we fold, you’ll have no damn phones.A T & T – we’re tired of your crap. 1) Let’s LEVEL WITH AMERICA! 2) We CAN’T level with America, you crazy bastard, we’re in advertising! 1. i hate art therapy! i hate art! i hate those little figurines! i, also, hate vinyl… am i off the point? 2. you...

All I know is you only got one life. You cant sit around waiting for your next life to start. honey im wanted in 14 states I felt all cold inside, like I’d jumped into a pool of boiling water I’m the kind of girl who can resist anything but temptation. In the summer of nineteen-sixty-five when I...

1) No, no, seriously. What’d you do? 2) I robbed a 7-Eleven. 1) Damn! 1)so wut u have to do this for? stayin out past ur bedtime? 2)no, i robbed a 7-11. you better watch out i’m dangerous. 3) Daammnn… alright… Life can begin at any time, you meet the right person and it just happens. Look at me i’m...

(1)Are you going to pay for those? (2)Uh-huh. (1)You’re not like your friends. (1)Have you ever heard of invoking the spirit? (2) No. (1) It’s when you call him. Manon. It’s like– It’s like you take him into you. It’s like he fills you. He takes everything that’s gone wrong in your life, and he...

angels east angles west north and south just do your best and guide my baby while she rests. Angels of the East, angels of the West, North and South, do you best to gaurd my baby while she resrs Angels of the East, angels of the West, North and South, do you best to gaurd my baby while she rests....

Lil: Let me take a look at you, Ah let me guess, Piedmont ND Violet: South Amoboi NJ Lil:same thing…do any drugs Violet: Just coffee thats all I can afford right now Lil: Let me see your arms Violet: Are you kidding? Lil: Does it look like i’m kidding?…oh. where’d you get that scar on your wrists?...

#1- I’ll think about you before I go to bed at night. #2- You do and you won’t sleep. #1- I’ve decided. #2- What? #1- I’ve decided that if Old Iron Nuts tells me I’m burning daylight just one more time I’m going to let him have it. #3- What’s ‘IT’? #1- I aint decided yet. #1- Mr....