Innocent English

I’d rather play big chief anyhow!!!!!! If its got hair i can ride it and if its got a beat I can dance to it. Just knock off its horns, wipe its nasty ole ass, and chuck it right down on the plate Oh you mean Willian Pickett, yeah. Pepper: I see what you’re trying to say deep down you’re chicken...

Brooklyn, James. Long ago and far away. Poor John. Put me to the test. Sure thing. That girl on the cover. Who’s complaining? Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Cover Girl’: Quotes from the movie ‘Cover Girl’

–Take away the clothes and makeup and what’d ya got? –A gorgeous naked woman? –Why are you always making silly excuses for your husband? –Because you’re always making excuses for your wife. –You’ve made an old man very happy. –You’re not so old. –I know and I’m not so happy. 1.)I’ve had sex before!...

#1- I’ve got it! I’ve got it! The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true! Right? #2- Right. But there’s been a change: they broke the chalice from the palace! #1- They broke the chalice from the palace? #2- And replaced it with...

I gave birth to a nine-pound baby, asshole. I think I can handle it. Hey, this is a military athletic facility, not a gay bath house. Put on a fucking shirt, La Bamba! I strongly urge you to exit the vehicle, SIR! I work at the pentagon Sargeant ….. so I’ll admit I’m a little slow on the uptake,...

1/_He said he’s not gunna throw… if he said he’s not gunna throw up then he’s not gunna throw up! 2/_I’m gunna throw up! 1/_How long’s it been… 3 years?? 2/_Maybe five… 3/_Between three to five years 1/_If you wanna hate me, FINE! hate me after Sunday, after we deliver the car! 2/_Don’t tell me...

–I’m here to ask you one question: Would you like to get off the blacklist? –Well, naturally. –If I don’t help, I lose my self-respect. Haven’t you opposed something because it’s wrong, mortally wrong? –I suffer for them, but not with them. –What’s this? –It’s cyanide. In case you get caught. A...

(Jacopo) Who do you want revenge on? (Edmond) Fernand and Mercedes Mondego. (Jacopo) Oh! That’s easy! I go down to Paris, bam-bam-bam-bam…they die…we live like kings!! -What if I win and I dont want to be a smuggler? -Then we slit your throat, and we’re a bit short handed. -I find that smuggling is...

–Another fine mess you got us into! –I got us into? Shut up and shoot! –Now that’s police brutality. –No, that’s cancer prevention. –White? They had on masks. How did you know they were white? –Cause they run white, dammit. am i black enough for you? Don’t you know black is beautiful? What do the...

–If he came in here right now, he’d kill us both. –Forget about him. –Who? I have a head for figures. I’m a pimp and a gambler and a thief. I don’t have your talent to dance myself where I want to go in this world. There’s only two things I gotta do in this life: Stay black and die. The white man...

(1)This is the car you’re lookin’ for? (2)Yeah. (1)This is the car I saw. (singing)Love is a many splendored thing! A la la la! …just thinkin’ maybe we shoulda’ lowered that spoiler, maybe gone for a wing or a fastback. C’mon, you guys have seen it, it’s the best lookin’ street machine on the west...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Â These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor...

…said i had a double chin, said i looked FAT!…u aint fat ur beautiful, now baby go a lil easy on that potato salad! 1) Do you taste like Chocolate? 2) (shrugs) I don’t know.. Do you taste like vanilla? Are you a niga lova? im not your friend no mory molly you honky father: Heaven is just something...

*Emily is crying and her eye pops out* Victor: I couldn’t marry you. It just wouldn’t work. *picks up eye and hands it back to her* Emily: It’s my eye, isn’t it? Victor: No. Your eye is…lovely. *eye pops out and maggot comes out…Emily covers her eye* Emily: Maggots! Hahahahaha 1) Oh, what a cutie!...

Got anything for an itchy butt? I hope you shit in your flat hat!!! I’ll sell a colored man a boat faster than a cat can lick its ass. I’ll sell you a boat quicker than cat can lick it’s ass! I’m gonna…I’m gonna piss a stream wider then a hand axe! If you can’t get help with your mental health, go...

I Don’t want you prancen around like the god damn little mermaid #1) Pissant? #2) Oh! Hi! I was just gonna go find you and say hi *fidgeting* Hi… (Shows her the sign it reads: You have to be crazy to do this job) It’s funny because its true! (To Paulie) Ooh, help me, I’m gay! (To Peter) Ooh, I...

Destiny…meet World.World…meet Destiny. FBI Agent #1 – Sir, you need to come with us. Your presence is of need. Professor – And say what if I don’t? FBI Agent #1 – We have no humor sir. FBI Agent #2 – And we are armed. Not the whole world Josh, just three people. Person 1: What do you make of this?...

(1) Do you remember what she looked like? (2) Yes. She looked like a girl. She looked like a million other girls. Ok? (1) How do you connect them? (2) Oh I don’t know, 20 years of experience and having serial killers on the brain (1) I miss men (2) Oh and what am I chopped liver? (1) you know what...

–You arrested a waiter? –Jake, he was rude. –Norman, you can’t arrest people for being rude. If you could, all of New York City would be on death row. Breakfast, everyone. Do you know what smoking does to you? It stunts your growth, it yellows your teeth, and blackens your lungs. Is that what you...

–How do you think this makes me look. –Go home and don’t think so much. –See sheriff, I got a sticky problem. My jurisdiction ends, in a sense, at the George Washington Bridge. But half the men I watch live beyond that bridge, where no one’s watching. –I’m watching. –What brings you to our fair...