Innocent English

#1 Hey Saboo, you know how to make a Bullshot? #2 You know how to make a shoe smell! #1 Very funny, your all right. Here, why don’t you get yourself a real haircut. #1 My uncle says you’ve got a screw loose. #2 Your uncle molests Collies. #1 Spaulding, get dressed your playing golf today. #2 No I’m...

–How do you like children? –Barbecued! 1) Are you appearing anywhere now? 2) Sure, you can catch me every friday at the Unemployment Office. A man who lies cannot love. Sometimes I wish my mother had taken the Pill. That sandwich is made with loveNo – mayonaise Toni, you’re a kook, but a nice kook....

(with lisp) you stupid son of a bitch! *where are we?*only the finest dining establishment in town!..open sesame!…….*Medevil Times? … Can I eat your skin? …….and if your love is truly giving , it will come back 10-fold .* That’s really insightful * I know , it was Jerry Springer’s final thought on...

-Why would you wanna shoot a squirrel? -Cause they’re gay …….scratch moded………. ..scratch moded.. and theyre the best anna and suz are the best because its anna and suzs movie bert! that isnt funny!!!!!!!! yes it is you fucking slut!!!!!!!!!!!!!! doctor like a professor?..yeah a professor of being a...

Did you try slapping her on the ass? That usually drives ’em wild. get your dirty hands off the filthy whore I’ve yanked the silver spoon from my mouth and buried six thousand miles beneath the earth’s crust… I mean figuratively speaking, of course, who could possibly do such a thing, that would be...

1) Darling what is the German word? 2) I dont’ remember 1) Oh yes 2) Oh no 1) boompsen 1) Last night I saw a movie about syphilis. It was too awful I couldn’t let a man touch me for a week! 1) Screw Maximillian! 2) I do. 1) So do I. Divine decadence, darling! Doesn’t my body drive you wild with...

crimson tide Don’t be such as a fucking smart ass will yer, I mean I’ve known the fucking guy thirty five years, im gonna fucking whack him for you? Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate The choice was mine, and mine completely. I could have any prize that I desired. I could burn with the...

(1) Donny, this is Lucille. Lucille, Donny. (2) Oh, is this the date? (3) ‘THE Date’? As in THE Chicken, THE cow? I don’t believe we’re in the stone age here. (1) I almost had sex with your wife. I think you ought to know. (2) Okay. Great. Is that it? (1) Yes. (2) Okay. Thanks, I’ll talk to you...

(this is from the script) …..lou? Where are you lou? struck down by a beverage I faithfully consumed for thirty-two years. What about lou?? –What does your husband do? –I don’t know, he’s dead. 1. I respect you pop. 2. Oh I don’t want your respect. Who wants respect from a 10 year old kid? Conrad...

Behind ever hot chic is a guy that’s tired of banging her. boys are cheats and liars, they’re such a big disgrace they will tell u n e thing 2 get to 2nd BASEball baseball he thinks hes gunna score, if u let him go all the way then u r a WHOREnologist studies flowers, geologist study rocks, the...

It has been said something as small as the flutter of a butterfly’s wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world. – Chaos Theory BRACKiN AND MORGAN ROCK! by reading these journals i might find a way to get kayleigh back can you protect me? Evan: I just wanted you to know. Kaylee:...

and i loved it!…i loved every awful minute of it! I had more fun in the backseat of a ’39 Ford than I can ever have in the vault at the Chase National Bank I started with Amherst and worked my way eck through the alphabet to Yale. I’m stuck the. ‘Course I could work backwards again. Mama, face it....

#1 – Now we just have to go over the rules…. #2 – Rules!?!? For a knife fight!?!? (1)I can’t swim. (2)Hell, the fall alone will probably kill us. (1)Let’s go over the rules. (2)In a knife fight? (singing) *Don’t ever hit your mother with a shovelllllll…… it leaves a dull impression on her...

–You could borrow it from a bank. –That’s what I do for a living. –I mean legally. Buster: I do borrow from from banks, I mean that is my job! June: I mean withg their permission. It might be a bit spicey for you june Let it be me. oh buster. You know the rent man calls today They put salt in the...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Â These are actual expressions, primarily from the Southern United States. Many of these colloquialisms are fading away,...

1) God bless those little scouts! 2) What? What is it? What do you see? 1) Smoke signals, right by the book…well almost. 2) What do they say? 1) Belp…BELP! 1) Hey…heyyy oh that’s the ticket…a little spritz of cool, clean mountain rain! 2) I hate to tell you this, doughboy…but that’s not rain! 1)...

(Art) …and a thermostat in a home heating sytem is that supposed to go to five thousand degrees ya think? (Ray) So how come you didn’t go with Susette to her mothers house? (Art) Hey, I’m eating here. Can you imagine me with the two of them for a week? I’d rather chew broken glass. -He can’t come...

1) Are you sayin’ the Democratic Party don’t care about the African-American community? 2) Isn’t that OBVIOUS? You got half your kids are out of work and the other half are in jail. Do you see ANY Democrat doing anything about it? Certainly not me! So what’re you gonna do, vote Republican? Come on!...

1)Ally are you talking about a MURDER murder? 2)yeah…this guy kinda got killed 1)why would you JUST call a hotline? 2)I was just asking….god…. 1)you stabbed him first 2)fuck you – the knife went in like *that* fucking much 3)yeah well what about the other 10 times? 1.) Is he dead yet? 2.) Gettin’...

(The sound of screeching tires in the coolist chase scene in movie history) –Am I helping you, sir? –I never had it so good. –Chalmers is downstairs with another man. They want to come up. –Chalmers, at one o’clock a.m.? Don’t let them in. I’ll be there in five minutes. –Doctor, a relative of mine,...