Innocent English

–That’s Cochrane, F.E., U.S. Army. –Cochrane, F.E. What’s the ‘F.E.’ stand for? –Fuck Everybody. 1/ Could’ve used this in ‘Nam, huh? 2/ Coulda used something 1/ Do you think you can fly it? 2/ You flew it, didn’t ya? 1/ How’s she flying? 2/ This thing’s nose-heavier than the Aiyatollah 1/ I’ve been...

man what did I tell you tully don’t go for the safe go stright for the cash in and out in and out. and why are you robbing the conor store anyways your a driver you go driving skills. so you gotta make a decision do you wanna be someones bitch or someones senrita you don’t wanna go to jail in...

–Well, I suppose I might as well say it. –Say what? –You’re beautiful. I’m afraid it’s rather a small medal, Willi, but it’s the highest Germany can give. If every pilot were to go carrering around France looking for unconfirmed victories, there’d be no air force left. Unconfirmed by army means...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Â According to several comedians, as compiled by GQ magazine the funniest jokes are: Okay, so it’s impossible to...

‘Blue Hawaii’ (Sing) Ku’uipo I love you, more today, more today than yesterday. But I’ll love you less today, less than i will tomorrow. –Don’t start that child psychology bit. I’m no child. –I’m no psychologist. –Moonlight in Hawaii can be rather intoxicating. –I know, that’s why I never touch the...

(Eden and Anne Marie talking) Eden:What are you doing? Anne Marie:Helping Eden:Why? you’re not a maid anymore AM:C’mon Eden dont be mad at me E:I’m not mad(smiling) (as Eden is making the bed she picks out a part of Anne Marie’s bathing suit) E:Some guy thinks you look hot in a bikini and u forget...

1. How OLD are you? 2. Old enough to know how to play this(indicates guitar). 1. Just like you ***, I have a genuine problem and you’re being sar-cas-tic. 2. Alright, I’m sorry honey, put the dog on the phone I’ll talk to him. And that is the only time I have ever pushed a woman out of a tree....

‘Boy look at me. See that little girl there? That’s my only little girl, man. She’s my life. So if you have any thoughts about huggin and kissin, you remember these words…I got no problem going back to prison.’ ‘Honey, I’m on a diet, put on a diet so put on some Fruit Roll Ups, woudja?’ ‘Whaddya...

A foul is only a foul if the referee blows his whistle. All along the watchtower. Dwayne, you can get through college half-assed. Richard, you can get through life half-assed. But I’ll guarantee you boys one thing. Sure as hell, I’ll guarantee you this: you cannot win half-assed! Get a tutor for...

–Don’t let’s spoil everything. We’ve only just met. –No, we haven’t met. You’ve never seen me. –Get the birds down, will you? –Okay. I’m only doing my job. Some people are bullfighters. Some people are politicians. I’m a photographer. I’ve come for the photographs. I’ve gone off to London this...

1)It’s time, friend. You’ve done your pennance. 2)Yeah? Then how come I don’t feel absolved? Did I catch you at a bad time, Liam? Hehehehahaha! hey, that’s a nice duck I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. I’ve come here to create a new country for you called chaos, and a new government…....

–I’m trying to save our asses! –I’ll look after my own ass, thank you! COED FRENZY It’s a good scream. It’s a good scream. No one wants to know about conspiracy anymore. This is the no makeup look. Yeah, that’s what I heard right before the tire blew out. You know, the only trouble I ever got into...

Diego to George:Who introduced you to Pablo Escibar..Eh?…me Who introduced you to your fucking columbian wife…me Who protected you when my friend cessel roas wanted to slit your fucking thloart…..hmm…me. [1] Dude na im to fuckin stoned im like, stoned man, im like really fuckin stoned, im just...

-So ya stomped em’ real good, eh Frankie? -Worse. -Wh…Whadda ya mean? – He made him say MATEI …….maaa……teeeee …father to son, father….to..son. Chinese Guide: Yea, you like Asians cuz we’re good looking. anytime…any place….ill be there for you are you a jackson? no. YOU LOOK LIKE A JACKSON aren’t...

1.we cant go we just shot up a whole block 2.well did u hit anyone 1. no 2. neirther did i so lets go An accident is fate. Murder is evil. Good cop, bad cop. I prefer the hard line. I’m going to check this blood work and get the tissue over to the lab. I’m the one you need to watch out for. Just...

–I got a job for you. –Uh, well, if the pay’s right and it’s legal, I’ll do it. –It’s not strictly legal. –Well, if the pay’s right, I’ll do it. I ain’t done nothing funny. I’m not afraid of you, Marty! If you point a gun at someone, you’d better make sure you shoot him, and if you shoot him you’d...

A Godess more powerfull than superman! ahhh. your right mark, your always right. a damn good detective too i might add beats me, cheif…looks like the work of pathalogical wierdos! don’t do it stan..staaaaaaaan… don’t point that thing at me foo! Georgie stop screwing around georgie, stop screwin’...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.  Funny sayings:Sstupid and witty quotes and Funny Sayings from bumper stickers, T-shirts, graffiti etc. Funny Sayings:...

–Fishing begins with bait. –Everything does. –Things are gonna turn around. –That’s your theme song. I never understand your optimism. It lacks foundation. Nice to have you home, just for the novelty. The interesting thing about rich people is they’re so cheap! There’s no such thing as honor among...

AHHHHH!!!!!!AHHHHHHH!!!!!!THE BLOB’S DIGESTIN MY DICK!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! ITS GONE!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! MY BALLS!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! MY STRAP-ON!!!!!!ehhh…… Doctor, nothing will stop it. I think you pissed it off. I told you we’d have snow. Gotta have faith! It’s Indescribable. It’s Indestructible....