Innocent English

Key, Kaylee, you got a plunger? I took a dookie and clogged up the toilet. (giggles madly) Oh, no, look at this! What a mess! 1. Hey Marty i like your new colouring 1. We want to get some sightseeing in before we cover this town with fur 1. Where are you taking me? 2. I already told you, I know a...

–I can’t believe you were so obsequious with that man. –What does ‘obsequious’ mean? Down here we call them wise guys. If I can’t have you, can I at least have my gator? Just relax darlin’. This is the Big Easy. Folks have a certain way o’ doin’ things down here. New Orleans is a marvelous...

i wet my bed when im not with you im thinking about you, do you have any of that going on at all? (1)They go together like lamb and tunafish. (Lawyer): Lamb and tunafish? (1)Or spaghetti and meatball, if you are more comfortable with that analogy. (Hobo) Yeah, if you dont like spaghetti and...

*Its a Big Country. Did ya ever see anything so Big. #Yes. *What. #A couple of Oceans. *Well I’ll be. All I can say McKay is you take a helluva long time to say good-bye. Crawl, you act like a dog, crawl like one! Crawl I said, crawl! I got me something to say that’s about thirty years overdue....

Book me, small change. First is first, and second is nobody. I treated her like a pair of gloves. When I was cold, I called her up. It happens to be against two laws: God’s and man’s. I’m booking her on the second. Shoots me with my own gun, that’s what gets me. What’s on your mind? As if I didn’t...

They’re either married or gay. And if they’re not gay, they’ve just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they’ve just broken up with a bitch who looks exactly like me. They’re in transition from a monogamous relationship and they need more space. Or they’re tired of space, but...

–We’re all in the same boat. –I’m in the boat. You’re in the water. Now let’s see how you can swim. Bad news sells best. Cause good news is no news. How’d you like to make a thousand dollars a day, Mr. Boot? I’m a thousand-dollar-a-day newspaperman. You can have me for nothing. How’s that for an...

#1) Hey! I like your Kimonah, get that in ‘nam? #2) Uh, no – Fire Island. #1) How did I get so fat! I look like a wall-eyed salmon. What did he use, a wide angled lense? #2) No, he didn’t, see, I look thin. . . I mean, I LOOK thin. I mean, I was standing near the window, there was a lot of light. ....

He’s hirt, don’t move him. I did it! I’m braking wind and 90! I did it! I’m braking wind at 90! Look out! He’s got a broken milk carton! Watch out hes got a broken candle You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal! Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Big Bus, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Big...

–What is this? –Hot Dish. –What’s Hot Dish? –Well, last week we had lasagna. Then it became spaghetti. And when it’s finally unrecognizable, they call it Hot Dish. –You’re alive! –You’re dead! 1)All right no means yes and yes means no. You want me to hit you? 2)NO! (hits him) OW! 1)Let’s try again....

(phone ringing from under the sand) 1)What is that? 2)Wind chimes. –Did you ever kill anybody? I mean, you were in the army. You were in Vietnam, weren’t you? –Yeah, for awhile. –Well, did you kill anybody? –I suppose so. –Was it fun? –I never hung around long enough to find out. –Have a little...

And let’s stop the New Deal before it gives the country away to them foreigners. Baxter, you got more moneymaking schemes than a damn politician! In business you gotta think big or you gotta think fast. ‘Diamond Jim’ Brady said that. It’s like John D. Rockefeller said, ‘You gotta grasp the dynamics...

(J) Social Security Number? (B) 13-17-25 (J)What is that? (B) It’s my locker combination… (sings while on the phone) Memories…(mumbles) Like the corners of my mind… Misty-water-colored memmmmmmmories… Of the waaaaaay we were… *(over the phone) Hello? (short pause) Hello? *Hello. *Who is this? *I...

#1 That’s roughly one’s monthly salary. #2 That’s more than I make in a year. #1- It couldn’t be more clear if you spit in my face. #2- I can’t. I don’t have a mucous gland. …..And it chaps my ass! 1) What are you doing? 2) Apparently, your bitch work! 1)I don’t want you spitting in my face. 2)I...

–Kissing Troy Donahue is not acting. –Well, then, you should try it. Ahmet Ertegun. As long as I’m singing. Bobby Kennedy tried to tell the truth. And look what happened to him. Hello Young Lovers Hey, tell me something. Who’s this guy, Yom Kipper, they got booked on Friday? Jump down, spin around....

Bogus Charlie: My grandfather once told me what to do when surrounded by white men with rifles. Dan Saxon: What? Bogus Charlie: Give the fuck up! Dan Saxxon – Raise your right hand Virgil Virgil – I do! Dan Saxxon (Rolls his eyes) – Not yet asshole, we got a whole ceremony to do first. Virgil –...

Elliot: Alright, make sure you get me your requests for Mr Ningpopo as soon as possibleJoss: Two hookers and a single to MelbourneNick: Business or coach? Elliot: Will that fit our wellhead?Joss: Do kangaroo’s crap in the bush? Henry: It’s not the most grown up way to deal with thisSarah: Well...

*looks around* YIKES!!!!!!!! ¿Donde esta mi perro? Bob, do you hear…someone talking? Guess what…I’m a witch. I just like to blend. I’m not going to get pregnant? I can’t get pregnant right now! Isabel: [Jack is being a jerk on television. Isabel gets on the phone with Nina.] Yes, I’m watching it....

Do not worry. A ninja knows when he is in danger…Now we are in danger! We are really in danger! Give me all your lovin’. Haru you truely are the great white ninja (he sees all the guys after him) Did i say ninja? I mean ninie, Haru you are such a ninie!! Here i am Hey, nice Jacket! Who shot the...

–Did you hear? Somebody shot Dave Thornton. –Somebody shot Uncle Dave? –You got a fifty dollar bill? –I’ve got a wife and three kids. I haven’t seen a fifty in twelve years. And look at this! You’ve got a ficas! A big, healthy ficas! Axel, you on a coffee break? Go get that sonofabitch. Boss, I...