Innocent English

(badguy kicks out chair and falls)u look like a dork u walk like a dork…..ok which one of you’s first…..does it matter u cant count past one anyway (biker growls) kids dont belong here go…….. and gorillas belong in the zoo *holding mustard squirter* Don’t come any closer or I’ll Poop on you! Get...

1) Hey! That guys not bad! 2) Hes kinda wild though like Colt. 1 + 2) COLT!!! 1) C’mon hes gonna get his brains splattered! 2) Stay here. Maybe this is the lesson Grandpa had in mind. 1)Swing my butt 2) you mean bat 1) my butt Hey! Who ate all my good and plenty’s? I hope there’s lots of food in...

Mr. Muffin Man, catch ya later!!! 1) What’s my name gonna be? Can I be monster destroyer? Or how about super killer? 2) How about super dork? 1) Shut up spaz! 1)Good ‘za. We should save some for the kids we’re napping. 2)Yeah, they’re probably really nice kids. 1)Stop showing off! 2)I’m not showing...

Have you been rick-rolled? Just what the hell is rick-rolling anyway? It’s a fascinating thing- which of the millions of internet small time fads will become a huge internet phenomena. One of the latest crazes is Rick-rolling. Rick rolling is when someone clicks on a link an interesting link...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Â This history of the world has been compiled by Richard Lederer from actual student bloopers and mistakes collected by...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed.  Just in case you find yourself lost in the strange and exotic world of office conversations, InnocentEnglish presents...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Â 1. Well, I see in the game in Minnesota that Terry Felton has relieved himself on the mound in the second inning. —...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Â Here are some of Rita Rudner’s Jokes and Sayings: Marriages don’t last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Â Here are the original names of celebrities and famous people who changed their name. Here are the original names of...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Â These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Â Don’t let worries kill you- let the church help. Here are some really funny church bulletins and announcements: Please...

David… again we want to wish you a happy Birthday and Godspeed. We’ll talk to you again tomorrow. ‘Bye. –What’s that? Chicken? –Something like that. Tastes the same anyway. Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move. Dave, my mind is...

1. So where’s this party? Soho? 2. Noho 1. I thought you said Soho 2. No I said Noho 1. That’s not even a real place, they just made that up, that’s not even on the map or nothn’. 1. What’s this? 2. It’s your present fuck-head, Open it. 555-1082. Bartender: So, how do you like your eggs done in the...

–Captain, we’re under attack! –Naturally, since you invaded their privacy, they have every right to invade ours. –You said you had a plan. –I do have a plan. Trouble is, it won’t work. Freedom is worth paying for… Giant squid astern, sir! I am the avenger! There are limits beyond which man and his...

dont even think bout takin the convertible 1)hey where did you find those toys, in the bottom of a cereal box? Tyrese)haha very funny fonzy…ass 1)When are u gonna shift me like that? 2)…When u get the right equipment! 1: How about you bring that body by the shop later and we can work on your front...

–How can you take this loser’s word? You can’t believe him! –I’ll take his word over yours. It’s been my experience, more often than not, that a loser has more honor than a winner. –How did you find me? –I looked you up in the phone book, under ‘Washout.’ –You better tell him I’m not fucking...

–War nerves? Who said war nerves? –I heard it on that radio there. –Radio’s wrong. AN6 Daddy. Down By The Ohio. Get in the back of the tank. Hey, there’s a kraut on board too. We got the whole damn Axis here. Hold your fire! Pass it on. I’ve learned a very important lesson today, I’ll never shop...

I you want to be stupid, dont be halfway stupid be all the way stupid!!! It flowers. rita, put your clothes back on The system will not protect us. well all i want 2 say is this movie was the best i have seen in such a long time.I just wish there could of been a part II 2 this.Well it’s really good...

(singing) I can romp through cupid’s grove with great agility, but life is more than sexual compustibility. …and just as Tom here has written, we say to HELL with Great Britain! 1. But I burn Mr. A. 2. So do I Mr. J 1. You? 3. John? I never would have thought it. 1. Will someone shut that man up?!...

–You can’t get lucky everyday, Jack. –You can be smart everyday though. And all you gotta do is look the other way. Chuck Berry, he got locked up for armed robbery. He changed. He changed. Days change. Seasons change. Not people. ESU and HNT are in place. FUCK THE TRUTH! Happy birthday, Jack. I...