Innocent English

American idol youtube video of David Cook. David Cook has been getting smoking hot the last couple of weeks. They loved him last week, but this week, he blew them away. Singing, of all songs, Billy Jean. Who would have thought Michael Jackson’s Billy Jean could be so smoking hot and so icy cool?Â...

 If you are looking for free printable living will forms go to the general printable living will page , or to the more specific pages for  free printable living will forms for males and free printable living will forms for females.  This page has a free example of a printable Last Will and...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Here are some amazing anagrams of famous people. Mere coincidence? You decide… An anagram rearranges the letters of a...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. We’ve probably all heard people say stupid things at the office. We might have said 1 or 2 (hundred) ourselves....

The Best of Youtube: Luckiest Person Alive: Cool near death videos here are some amazing youtube videos of people very lucky to be alive. They may be some of the luckiest people on the planet….   This is a short and sweet, and very amazing youtube video of people who nearly got hit by a car, or...

If you haven’t seen Comedian Demetri Martin yet, you are in for a treat. To me he seems like a cross between Stephen Wright and Jerry Seinfield. A very laidback delivery of one liners and short jokes. He sometimes uses a chart for visual jokes, a very original and funny approach. Other times he...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Here are some funny bloopers and quotes from famous politicians and celebrities: “I haven’t committed a crime. What I did...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. Here are a few one-liners from comics and comedians Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should...

(1)I was to extract one decagram of miolyn from four tons of earthworms. (2)Really? (1) Yes. I was on that project for five years. I was the only one who believe in it, everyone else said it couldn’t be done. (3) It can’t. (1) I know that now, I proved it. (1)We call this place the garden. (2) Why?...

–What’s your financial picture? –Not great. –Who are those guys? Do they work for me? –Everybody works for you, Howard. –Will you marry me? –You’re too crazy for me. Bring me the milk. Don’t tell me I can’t do it! Don’t tell me it can’t be done! Get that crazy bitch away from me! He owns Pan-Am. He...

(1)This is all terribly formal. Must I go on calling you Dr Peel? (2)No, no. Under the circumstances, you may call me Mrs. Peel. (1)We don’t get many trespassers up here. (2)Really? Why not? (1)We shoot them. De Wynter: John Steed. What a horse’s arse of a name. De Wynter: Nothing is impossible,...

Do you know the difference between MAY and CAN? I burned the store down. I came to America in 1914…by the way of Philadelphia…That’s where I got off the boat, and then I came to Baltimore. It was the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen in your life. If you stop remembering, you start to forget...

1)God, that must be a relief. 2)What? 3)Well, to finally deliver that speech to a woman and actually have it apply to them. 1)You ruined me for other woman. 2)I saved you for them. All i have to offer you is this, nothing more Food is the only beautiful ting that truly nourishes. I collect...

–A day without sex… –Is a day wasted. –Cigar? –Hogan! –I’m your friend. –You’re my only friend, John. Big Daddy. Bob…This is Disney. Dead air. Dinner theater. Don’t tell Tonto. Eddie Canter once told me that likeability was 90% of the battle. And he was right. Guess who’s playing Super Dad? Heroes...

–Why do you take aspirin with champagne? –Oh, champagne gives me a headache. Comin’ home to you is like comin’ home to milk and cookies. Don’t you ever, ever, ever tell me I look good for my age again. I’ve got one natural sister, seven step-brothers and seven step-sisters. I’ve got more than...

I eat cause im not happy, and im not happy because eat, its a vicious cycle. (Austin drinks a cup of poo thinking it was coffee) A:This tastes like sh**! B. Exposition: Thats because it is sh** Austin. A:Oh. (takes another sip)A little nutty. (austin,s and felicity,s romance moment get...

#1: How dare you break wind before me! #2: I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was your turn! (1) Hey there you are (2) Do I know you (1) No, but there you are 1) Hey there you are! 2) Do I know you? 1)No, but that’s where you are you’re there! 1) how dare u break wind before me 2) sorry baby i didnt know...

(GETS HIT IN THE GROIN WITH A PROP METEOR) Good one A-Hole! Good God, let me find my balls here. 1,2….and 3…ok im fine, im fine. All right, let me find my balls for God’s sakes! 1, 2… and 3, okay; I’m ok. (Austin grabs Fat Bastard’s nipples and twists them) Fat Bastard: AHHH! My titties! You gave...

–Who’s that English lady? –Vera’s not English, dear, she’s from Pittsburgh. –She sounds English. –Well, when you’re from Pittsburgh you have to do something. -Why’d that oriental sandman let me sleep in my best Chanel? -Well, he tried to take it off you, but you bit him. A: (refuses drink) Oh, no!...

1: Where are we going? 2: Take the old mission road, some crazy ass biker’s got himself munched on by a horde of tomatoes. 1: But what can we do? 2: We can keep it quiet, that’s what! Actually, doctor, tomatoes are fags. And today the president closed the nation’s last remaining submarine base at...