Innocent English

–Who was it? –Just a taxi driver, Miss Harrington. You left the award in his cab and he brought it back. –Oh, put it on one of the trunks, will you? I want to pack it. –Sure, Miss Harrington. 1) Oh waiter… 2) That’s not a waiter, my dear, that’s a BUTLER 1) Well I can’t yell -Oh butler- can I ?...

#1: What’s more important to you, rugby or girls? #2: Girls. But when I’m playing rugby, rugby’s the most important. (1) Those mountains must be 50 miles away, are you prepared to work 50 miles.(2) If I have to. (1) We gonna die. (2) maybe, but if we die, were gonna die walking. 1)I wish we had...

Eat this #1 – Is this going to be a standup fight, sir, or another bughunt? #2 – All we know is that there is still is no contact with the colony, and that a xenomorph may be involved. #3 – Excuse me sir, a what? #2 – A xenomorph. #4 – It’s a bughunt. (1)they said she saw an alien once. (2)Well...

GO ON! Get out of here,… I have to reeducate some of the brothers! -Was there an Alien on board? -Yes. -Does the company know? -The company knows everything that happened on the ship. -You don’t want to know me lady. I’m a murderer and rapist of women. -Oh…well, I guess I must make you nervous....

1)I heard you,like, ran into this things before? 2)Yeah 1)Cool. And,like, what did you do? 2)I died. (1) WHAT ARE YOU AFFRAID THE SIX OF US ARE GONA HIGH-JACK YOUR DAMN SHIP OR WHAT!!! (2)JUST A MINOR CONCERN THAT ONE OF YOUR ASSHOLE CREW MEMBERS IS GONA GET DRUNK AND PUT A BULLET THROUGH THE...

1/_My dad broke his leg seven hundred feet from the summit of Mount Ranier. He was like you…. He wouldn’t go back or let us stop…. We reached the top and he opened a bottle of champagne… Had my first drink with my dad at 14,400 feet. On the way down, he developed a blood clot in his leg that...

1) What did he say? 2) You don’t want to know. 1) No really, what did ha say? 2) Your mother mates out of season. 1)Watch your ass. 2)You watch my ass. And that fits? Don’t take it personally. I’m a bigot! Fuck Procedure We’re going out to talk to people, and you have fur in your teeth. Well, my...

(1)Are you going to get me some clothes, or should I just go like this? (2)Given the nature of our indigenous population, I would suggest clothes. None of the men here have seen a woman in years. [under his breath] Neither have I, for that matter. (1)This is a maximum security prison, and you have...

‘Cargo and ship destroyed. I should reach the frontier in about 6 weeks. With a little luck, the network will pick me up.’ ‘I admire its purity, its sense of survival; unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.’ ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star.’ ‘You still don’t know what you’re...

#1-Oh, by the way, if you’d really like to know, he went that way. #2-Who did? #1-The White Rabbit. #2-He did? #1-He did what? #2-Went that way. #1-Who did? #2-The White Rabbit. #1-What rabbit? 1 – I don’t know where to start. 2 – Start at the beginning. 3 – Yes. And when you come to the end, stop....

1)ali do you want a job in mp 2)no cuz there full of priks 3)am i a prick because i am in the mp 4) yes 1)He is gonna build Heathrow terminal 4 over Staines 2) Don’t matter its a bloody shithall anyway 1. I’ve got two words for you: keep it real. 2. That’s THREE words. A to the L to the I to the G,...

Ain’t No Way. Aint no vietkong ever call me a nigga Ali comes out to meet Frazier, but Frazier starts to retreat. If Joe goes back an inch farther, he’ll wind up in a ringside seat. Ali swings with his left, Ali swings with his right, just look at the kid carry the fight. Frazier keeps backin, but...

Alfie, don’t you ever think about bringing your girlfriends flowers or candy? Alfie: you know i never, I never meant… Marlon: you never mean to hurt anybody….but you do, Alfie Blimey girl, you’re not as ugly as I thought. Find someone you love and live each day as though it was your last. For every...

1. If you pursue King Darius now, you’ll lose your army. 2. And if we catch Darius, we GAIN an empire! A king isn’t born. He’s made. And it will always be known, that YOU left your king in India! Conquer your fears, and you shall conquer death Did a man like Alexander actually exist? Of course not....

I cant figure out whats worse, having to know every single detail of your desperate love for some other woman, or having to know that you obviously didnt even come close to feeling the same way about me 1. It’s so strange in this time to hear ‘sleep together’ and it actually means sleeping. As she...

1. (to cubby) Yo, the bus is leaving write us a letter! 1. (Yelling) Sean! Sean! (louder) SEAN! 2. (Gets up) yes! ah! yell a little louder willl ya? I can still hear out of this side! 1. She heard you were a Cubs fan. 2.(talking to bear) Not that kind of Cubs fan, you dumb animal. (bear launches...

(1)You know, you live another five years and you might just be a great man. (2) I think I will probably have to settle for who I am now. As goes The Alamo, so goes Texas. Being in Congress has ruined many a good man. Bowie: Didn’t know you drank. Crockett: If it was just simple old me, David, from...

1) I never ever had a real family. 2) I never ever had a real true friend. 1)&2) Someonw who could just understand me. 3) Hey ******* when is this mushy stuff going to end? Brought to you by sand. It’s everywhere. Get used to it. Genie:And who are you? Man: I’m Thor. Genie: You’re Thor? Man: Well...

1)I’m Thor. 2)You’re Thor. 1)Well, it hurths. 1)If your Al’s Dad, then I’ve got one question for you! 2)Yes? 1)Would you like the chicken or the sea bass? 1)Where’s my father? 2)Follow the trail of the 40 theives. Your father is trapped within their world. 1)40 thieves? Is he all right? How long...

can i kiss the monkey :smooch: ahhh :choke: hair ball Look at this! I’m so ticked off that I’m molting! “Patience, Iago, patience.” (Aladdin to Jasmine) Oh be careful there. Oh, watch your head there! (aladdin)-you,uh,you don’t want to go for a ride do you?we could get out of the palace,see the...