Innocent English

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. — Larry Wall Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers Have the people we’ve been bombing over the years been complaining — George Wallace The century which we are entering can be and must be the century of the common man. —...

Best Famous Quotes by: X2 X-Men United, Unknown, Bobby Unser, Louis Untermeyer, Maitri Upanishads, John Updike, Carlos A. Urbizo, W. T. Ussery, Percival Arland Ussher, Peter Ustinov, Mary Kay Utech, King George VI, King Edward VIII, Jeff Valdez, Alan Valentine, Paul Valery, Robert Valett, Jean...

Best Famous Quotes by: Jeffrey Vlaming, Vincent Voiture, Craig Volk, Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, Voltaire, Kurt Vonnegut, Carl Hermann Voss, Bernard De Voto, Peter De Vries, Vulgate, Charles Wadsworth, William Wadsworth, Fred Waggoner, Jane Wagner, Lichty and Wagner, Richard Wagner, Diane...

Best Famous Quotes by: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts, Kelvin III Throop, Thucyclides, Thucydides, James Grover Thurber, James Thurber, Howard Thurman, Tiberius, Phylos the Tibetan, Frank Tibolt, Henrik Tikkanen, Paul Johannes Tillich, Paul Tillich, Henry J. Tillman, John Tillotson, Jennifer Tilly,...

 Here are some real, funny online personals, dating want ads and dating site profiles from real dating sites.    Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives. Bitter, disillusioned SM recently rejected by longtime fiancee seeks decent, reliable woman, If such a thing exists in this...

Best Famous Quotes by: Marcus Aelius Aurelius, Marcus Aurelius, Ausonius, Jane Austen, Paul Auster, Kenny Ausubel, Harriet Du Autermont, James A. Autry, Sri da Avabhas, Berton Averre, Tex Avery, Saint Teresa of Avila, Bernard Avishai, A. J. Ayer, Alfred Jules Ayer, Marcel Ayme, Ben Azai, Benjamin...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. InnocentEnglish.com’s list of the best, worst, funniest, saddest and most unfortunate Bushisms from 2006. 1. “That’s...

A friend of mine, a single mother of one, was passing by her daughter’s bedroom when she saw, to her shock, the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she...

Best Famous Quotes by: Y. Yakigawa, Rosalyn S. Yalow, Kobi Yamoda, Lily Yeamans, Trisha Yearwood, J. B. Yeats, William Butler Yeats, Rodney Yee, Boris Nikolayevich Yeltsin, Lu Yen, Anzia Yenerska, Yevgeny Aleksandrovich Yevtushenko, Anzia Yezierska, Yoda, Paramahansa Yogananda, Maharishi Mahesh...

However often you may have done them a favour, if you once refuse they forget everything except your refusal. — Pliny the Younger That indolent but agreeable condition of doing nothing. — Pliny the Younger There is nothing to write about, you say. Well then, write and let me know just this –...

Best Famous Quotes by: Virginia Woolf, Alexander Woollcott, Frank W. Woolworth, William Wordsworth, Wayne’s World, Sir Henry Wotton, Herman Wouk, Steve Wozniak, C. Kent Wright, Chauncey Wright, Frank Lloyd Wright, Larry Wright, Louis Booker Wright, Orville Wright, Steven Wright, Wilbur Wright,...

Best Famous Quotes by: Alfonso the Wise, Stephen S. Wise, Charles Eddie Wiseman, Forest Witcraft, John Witherspoon, Tshunka Witko, Ludwig Wittgenstein, P. Dan Wiwchar, J. Donald Wlters, P. G. Wodehouse, Christa Wolf, David T. Wolf, Gene Wolfe, Thomas Wolfe, Tom Wolfe, Tobias Wolff, Marvin E....

No two persons ever read the same book. — Edmund Wilson There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income. — Edmund Wilson Only the curious will learn and only the resolute overcome the obstacles to learning. The quest quotient has always excited me more than the intelligence...

Best Famous Quotes by: Flora Whittemore, John Greenleaf Whittier, Faith Whittlesey, Charlotte Whitton, Dennis Wholey, Benjamin Lee Whorf, Lord John Whorfin, George John Whyte-Melville, Robert Wibbelsman, Mike Wickett, Emil Wiechert, Paul Wiener, Warren Wiersbe, Elie Wiesel, Leon Wieseltier, Albert...

Best Famous Quotes by: Caroline Warner, Charles Dudley Warner, Harry Morris Warner, Jeff Warner, Earl Warren, Robert Penn Warren, Booker T. Washington, George Washington, Martha Dandridge Custis Washington, Martha Washington, Wendy Wasserstein, Maxine Waters, Denis Watley, John Watson, Lillian...

COLLEGE HUMOR AND JOKES: Some of you might follow Dave Barry’s Newspaper column. It’s always amusing and sometimes really funny. Here is a funny piece Dave Barry did about College and  College Admissions.  College Admissions, By Dave Barry. Many of you young persons out there are seriously...

When you become pregnant, you have a lot of questions. Where can you turn for the answers? Well, here is some very helpful pregnancy info for you. Solid answers to those pesky questions about what happens during pregnancy, during labor, and after you have a baby.   Here are answers to common...

June 23, 2008. NOTE: We put this post up last year- a collection of some of the best and most inspired quotes and jokes by George Carlin. The term “comic genius” is thrown around a bit too much, but he definitely earned the title.  That we won’t have more brilliant thoughts coming from him is...

Every day InnocentEnglish.com posts a new funny or cool Quick Break. The Quick Break section has today’s quick break plus previous ones so you can browse through any you missed. A friend sent me this list of oxymorons. Some are literally oxymorons and others are more a commentary on failings of...

Below is the funny poem “English Is Tough Stuff (A.K.A. “The Chaos”)” by G. Nolst. It was first published in 1929 in a book to help people improve their English pronunciation (“Drop Your Foreign Accent”). Most native English speakers can’t get very far into the poem without mispronouncing a word.Â...