Innocent English

1. Hey, Councilman, your people in our district want us to clean our houses and to watch their kids, but if we have no cars, how are we getting to work? 2. These buses run every ten minutes. 1. How would you know? (crowd agrees) 2. How do I know? I know this. Every time this line gets extended,...

‘The Eyes of Texas’ ‘The Lady Loves Me’ ‘The Yellow Rose of Texas’ ‘Viva Las Vegas’ Can someone look at my engine? It whistles. I’d like to see what you’ve got under there. It’s one of a kind. I built it myself….It’s what I call a real sporty model. That’s the Hoover Dam, one of seven modern civil...

Chute: You gonna make the weight? Louden: I hope so. Chute: I hope so too. Elmo: It ain’t the six minutes. It’s what happens in those six minutes. Hey Lauden…kick his ass I LOVED YOUR PIECE ON THE CLITORIS! I SHOWED IT TO MY MOTHER! Lauden: Hey Shute! Kuch: Carefull Man. Shute: Yeah? Do I know you?...

(android bartender)You look mighty parched pardner! (Sid 6.7) To think, you constitute one of my ancestors. I’m vaguely offended by that. (Shoots android) (knock knock) SID 6.7: Oh Karen!! hehe.. Mommys here! hehehahaha I just gonna do a little performance piece with your partner. I’ll be back to...

baked a pie full of rat poison. I though I could eat it, you know, without being suspicious. My nana, who is 86… [starts to break down] she really likes sweets. She had three pieces. What we have here is a dreamer. Someone completely out of touch with reality. After Lux’s failure to make curfew...

Did you ever look at a drop of water? He was a man of many follies, but he was incapable of meanness. It was Dandy Gow’s hope, Robert, that you’d spend the sum wisely on your education. You’re in your green years, Robbie. You suffer the critical disease of being young. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from...

(a spy sent to Galilee by Pilate:) …he’s preaching, he’s been healing some people, and the latest news is, he walked on water! (Pilate, played by Telly Savalas:) Ah, GET OUT!!! –What is your name? –Jesus. –Ah, that’s a good name. –Thank you. Repent! Truly, this man was the son of God. Page Topic:...

Scars covered by greasepaint, bandages hidden by funny wigs, the spangled Pied Piper limps into town. This is the story of the biggest of the big tops, and the men and women who fight to make it the greatest show on earth. You wanna bite somebody?…Well, pick your spot. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from...

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and I’ll give ya something to cry about you little bastard! we bust up in here nino brown style got guns on you and what you got a whole bunch of guns with red lazers on em we aint got none of those but Im tryin to say what vilonce solve anyway Why dont you...

I’m in the prime of my life. I’m placing you under arrest. Let me hold you in my arms tonight. No, I’ll warm up on the man. We’re the Detroit Blue Jays. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Great White Hope, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Great White Hope, The’

I’ve survived two avalanches, three blizzards, five Indian uprisings, and seven Presidential elections, but I never been owned by no woman nor dog. Joe Knox is no friend of mine. He didn’t even leave me one Joe Knox: Aren’t you going to give me a pill? Doctor: You got it the old-fashioned way, we...

Ain’t that a wonderment? It ain’t hard gettin’ shot. It’s the gettin’ back up. Only a fool smokes up a town when it ain’t necessary. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Great Northfield, Minnesota Raid, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Great Northfield, Minnesota Raid, The’

–We have a lovely student body. –Yours wouldn’t be so bad either, if you took off about 20 pounds. Is it true that the time and space are calculated by the interplanetary magnetism to solar radiation? Mildew College, est. 1885. Super service. Swingin’ the Alphabet. Twenty minutes to a pound. We’ll...

1: Why can you not say what is in your head? 2: Why can you not stop saying what is in yours? Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to...

Mac or PC? Fess up, no need to be ashamed. You use a PC like the rest of us, don’t you? Fact is, every operating system is different, and every user needs something different to fit his/her needs exactly. That’s why there are so many different options (I mean, besides just bilking us for more...

Engineers were the best people to party with back in college. No, no, don’t laugh, it is true! After being cooped up for days and weeks on end, when they finally got a night off my engineer friends always went wild. You see, they had to pack days and weeks’ worth of merriment into one night....

I never wanted to grow up … it just sort of happened. One day I was sitting there with my star wars figures and the next, just like that, pimples and growth spurts. What can I say, nature is cruel. Of course, that wasn’t the only marker of growing up. Studies have actually suggested that one of...

–So, I caught you again, you cheesy cheapstake! Give me the dough! –Listen, you fat little floor-flusher. –Fat? Come on, two bambas, and quit horsing around! If it weren’t for graft, you’d get a very low type of people in politics. Time out, gents. Here we go again! Page Topic: Movie Quotes from...