Innocent English

1) I think you need to get your hand off my thigh. 2) Where would you like me to put it? 1) How about up your ass? Adam’s not a drunk he’s a borderline addictive personality who happens to like alcohol a lot Adam-I was just looking for you Kate-What?I wasn’t at the bottom of the bottle? All I can...

–I want you to go back to the hotel. –Why? ==Because a man is going to get himself killed here. –You hit one at I think 700, 800 yards. –Closer to one thousand. –What was it? Sharps? –Yeah, my own load. –Ever hunt buffalo? –Apache. –You know how many dead we got? –Eleven. –You count, huh? –You...

–What does it take to hire you? –Money…and a just cause. –How much money? –How just is your cause? –What does the ‘V’ stand for? –Virtuous. –What’s the ‘V’ stand for? –My first name. –What’s this ‘V.I.’? –Very inquisitive. Can’t get the hang of it, eh? First rule of detecting: Follow the money....

1) I’m a Musician 2)What do you play? 3)Percussion mostly, but tonight, I’m conducting the whole orchestra. 1) You’ve got nothing. Nothing but your bloody knives and your fancy karate gimmicks.We have guns. 2) No, what you have are bullets and the hope that when your guns are empty I’m am no...

D, world destruction O ver an overture N, do I need Apostrope T, need this torture? In 1844, the Democrats were split. The 3 nominees for the Presidential candidate were: Martin Van Buren, a former President and and abolitionist, James Buchanan, a moderate, Lewis Cass, a General and expansionist....

(1)NOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS NAME?! (2)Ghost Dog. (3)GHOST … DOG? (4)He said *Ghost Dog*. (2)Yeah, a lot of these black guys, these gangster type guys, they got all kinds a funny names. (1)He means like the rappers. You know, the rappers. Snoop Doggy Dogg, Ice Cube, Q Tip, Method Man. My favourite...

1. I was in London with a man named Edith. 2. That’s a girl’s name. Go to hell. Sit on a hot coal and wait for me until it snows. I drowned in an elevator! I think she’s coming back to fill in the bleep-bleeps! I thought you were afraid of intimacy, I didn’t know you were deceased. Page Topic:...

(1) You guys don’t have a fucking leg to stand on. (2) You think so, tough guy? We can put you in Queens on the night of the hijacking. (1) Really? I live in Queens. Did you put that together yourself, Einstein? What, do you got a team of monkeys working around the clock on this? (2) Do you know...

(1) We’ve got to fight fire with fire! (1)Guys, we fighting fire with enhanced radiation. …high inflation. What is the solution? Aren’t you a little big to be playing in the f****ing mud? Best salad bar in town…Airport Lanes best salad bar in town…Airport Lanes. Fifty bucks never killed anybody Hi....

Check out DEM babies! Fake suicide psycho! I think you and I have a lot in common! If you were a girl I’d DEFINITELY fuck you! No I did NOT do the sound on your film, you fake suicide psycho- you did it. you know that. Ow can I be the dog, cos Im an excelent licker! Urban legend my ass. Page Topic:...

Everybody loves a good answering machine message, so why not make yours more memorable? After all, everyone you know and their dogs have “sorry you missed me, please leave a message after the beep” as their answering machine message. Break the mold with these funny messages and impress friends...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To learn the mysteries of life obviously! Philosophers have long, hard, and terribly difficult names to remember… and their philosophies are even more confusing to keep apart. This handy guide uses the classic “why did the chicken cross the road” joke to...

Current politics has you confused beyond all belief? Can’t tell socialism from feudalism, democracy from bureaucracy? Sick and tired of all the pundits and pacifists arguing on TV about who is what? Do not worry, we have you covered. Here’s our handy guide to the whole political spectrum, laid...

–My mum says she’s worth her weight in gold. –Oh, in that case, she must be very valuable indeed. Don’t worry about being loved. Worry about loving – it’s far more important. I understand you work with hair. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Getting It Right’: Quotes from the movie ‘Getting It Right’

Oh my God, a gay black republican. Now I’ve seen everything! Teenagers mess up. You know man, that’s what they do best. You tell me what men who like women wouldn’t want a little something on the side? Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Get on the Bus’: Quotes from the movie ‘Get on the Bus’

(1)Hello? (2)You’re gonna die tonight. (1)Oh, really? (1)It’s not going to bring him back, Brenda. None of this– (2)I know that, Natalie! But it will bring a devastated little Paul right into my arms. I’ll have him, and he’ll have his Pulitzer. What did you think, Natalie? That I was gonna let you...

–What happened to your face? –Got hit. 1) Hey, this is still moving. 2) Well I can’t help it. 3) Well then put it back on the grill!! 1) I think your just jealous cause I can ride it better than you. 2) I’m what!! 1) I told Aunt Corine that cornbread tastes real good when you’re hurtin’ – she...

(Rae after seeing molly with a can of fruit punch)Fruit punch? Why don’t you just drink cyanide? At least it’s quick. 1you and me.. were gonna be friends 2grownups never stay friends with kids 1i dont see any grownups around here 2i do That’s your dad in there, huh? Was. He’s a vegetable now,...