Innocent English

All of us are freaks in one way or another. Try being born a male Russian Countess into a white, middle class, Baptist family in Mississippi, and you’ll see what I mean. Life is hard, if you think it’s hard. You can dance to anything as long as you feel like dancing. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from...

Daddy, don’t fight. Don’t fight with Sister Theresa. Mr. Doyle, you have no job and no money for your children. On the banks of the roses. Santa will be here very soon for you. The law and justice are two entirely different matters. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Evelyn’: Quotes from the movie...

Leon Feldhendler: Did you know that tomorrow is the beginning of Sukkot? Lt. Sasha Pechersky: Yes. ‘Tis a Holy Day. Leon Feldhendler: I forgot. And my father was a rabbi. Lt. Sasha Pechersky: They kill on Holy Days. Why not the other way around? God will forgive. Leon Feldhendler: There are those...

He won’t shoot himself. It would please too many people. I close the iron door on you. I haven’t finished yet! I wanted to be an actress, but I won’t crawl on my stomach for any man! I wouldn’t take that woman back if we were the last two people on earth and the future of the human race depended on...

(at the mission brief) OK Gentlemen, this is a big one……(from the crowd) Germany!!… You got it. .. and if a bombadier can’t hit his plate with his fork – you get him; if a navigator can’t find the mens room then -you get him; And paint this name on your aircraft – The Leper Colony. Don’t make...

November 15, 2008 Hypoallergenic Dogs: Can you own a dog if you are allergic to them? President-elect Barack Obama will be looking hard for a dog before he enters the White House in January, but it won’t be any usual dog. The 45th president will be in need of a hypoallergenic companion. These are...

Air brakes. HA. HA. HA. I had sex with Vern…know what i mean? Victory is at hand. Now we have to move onto what I like to call ‘Plan B.’ What we have here is a failure to accumulate. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Ernest Saves Christmas’: Quotes from the movie ‘Ernest Saves Christmas’

I can’t wait to try this on a real human brain ! But right now Ernest will have to do…. I ROCK YOU DON’T!HAHAHHA!!!!GO MATTHEW!GO MATTHEW!WHOOP!WHOOP!! matthew was here!! Well how’d ya do on the test? [pause] Not to good.. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Ernest Goes to School’: Quotes from the movie...

(1)you said i had delusions… that i created a world… you said you could explain everything… (2)well, i can’t. … i mean…i’m trying to. i can’t believe that everything we do or say has already happened, that we can’t change what’s going to happen, that i’m one of the three billion people who are...

1) And if I were you, I’d get rid of the mildew on the chin. 2) My soulpatch? 1) Is that your happy face or your horny face? 2) I’ll tell you later. 1) You say you know feelings. Tell me: how do I feel? *makes sad face* 2) Sick. 1) Sad! How about now? *makes mad face* 2) Constipated. 1) *makes...

–Will you listen to us now? –No, I won’t listen. Get out of here! Get out! It takes 50 years for the majority to be right. And then the majority is never right. The children are poison. The water is poison. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Enemy of the People, An’: Quotes from the movie ‘Enemy of the...

I would rather be out on a 2 foot day with a bunch of friends than a 20 foot day with a bunch of jerks, but usually on a 20 foot day you are alone so I would rather be out then. wave of the day went to Pat, he was feeling a little sunburnt so he went into the shade for a while you would too if your...

(Hooch barking at Turner through window) Turner: Oh you wanna bite my head off?! Go ahead! No-one will be able to come in and you’ll starve to death! That’s if if they don’t find my gun & then shoot you! Your in my house! Back off! (Hooch stops barking & gives a growl) Turner: Back off Hooch!...

–I dated a criminal once. –Only one? 1. The stewardess is flying the plane? 2. She’s a FLIGHT ATTENDANT. casi Say your prayers. That’s it! I’m never flying this airline again! You are a convicted inmate on death row. What five albums would you pick? Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Turbulence’:...

–Really! –Really what? –Well…really. Dear Alfred Tennyson, who pulled my pigtails and said they were too long. I wouldn’t mind writers so much if they didn’t write books. I’ve been making the most of it ever since I can remember. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Enchanted April’: Quotes from the...

I want to know the connection between the elves and the Nazis. I’m tellin you what i saw goddammit, I’m tellin you I saw a 2 foot elf !! Santa says ORAL When hell is full, the elves will walk the earth. Who the hell are they going?? Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Elves’: Quotes from the movie...

And what is love? Love is the mornin’ and the evenin’ star. Besides, I’m for a free press, for free enterprize…and for whatever the hell the other freedoms are! Jesus had guts! He wasn’t afraid of the whole Roman army. Love is the inspiration of poets and philosophers. Love is the voice of music....