Innocent English

Everyone has a talent. Get your ass on the next plane to Winston-Salem. If I can convince just one of these kids to start smoking, I’ve paid for my flight, round trip. If you can do tobacco, you can do anything. See, Joey, that’s the beauty of argument. If you argue correctly, you’re never wrong....

#1) You are a sinner! Your wife is a sinner! Your kids fornicate and sell dope! #2) I never claimed to be perfect, GG. Cheer up, honey. City Of New Orleans. Dancing In The Dark. Highway Patrolman. I wonder who else I could call that would hang up on me. It’s not too smart to get too many women in...

Here is the transcript of edited out parts of Governor Sarah Palin’s interview with Charlie Gibson. The network edited out parts of the interview, but we were able to get our hands on the transcript through an intern that works in ABC news. Governor Palin, many have questioned whether your...

America, my country tis of thee. God save the Queen. The only fun I get is feeling the goldfish, and they only eat once a day. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Bordertown’: Quotes from the movie ‘Bordertown’

I have always found girls fragrant in any phase of the moon. Life is all memory. My heart beats blood that is not my blood, but the blood of anonymous blood donors. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Boom’: Quotes from the movie ‘Boom’

Here’s another good inspirational story: Holy Fire There had been rumors in the city about strange calls that made the receiver vanish, go blind, get deaf and even die. One Monday morning while a minister was studying his cell phone rang and he picked it up and saw an unknown number, not sure who...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Grace After twenty years of shaving himself every morning, a man in a small Southern town decided he had enough. He told his wife that he intended to let the local barber shave him each day. He put on his hat and coat and went to the barber shop, which was...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Good For The Soul Last week i took my children to a restaurant. My six year old son asked if he could say grace, as we bowed our heads he said, “God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if mom gets us ice cream for...

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT A GUY WITH A CHAINSAW!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Smell Bullshit I smell bullshit! I think we should drop off the body and get the hell out of here I’m sorry, but nobody asked her to blow her head off in our van I-I’m sorry. But...

‘Nam flashbacks ‘Nam flashbacks! A one and a two and a three! Are you good? well are you? Big ol’ crazy booger! Bubba has a girlfriend. burn her like a rat. Did ya get her LEATHERFACE??? dogggg will hunt! DON’t POKE ME! Owwwww…. E-X-I-T. Exit. Get that bitch leatherface get that bitch! How good are...

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Get that bitch Leatherface! guy in wheelchair – Sally! (southern draw) Sally – **sigh** what now?! guy in wheelchair – **big sigh** Nuthin’….nevermind. (bigger southern draw) Half Wit!! Little Coon S***!! Come here you nap haired idiot! I thought i told you to...

Angel, I want ecstasy. i wana c it I’m all dressed up and no place to go. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Bolero’: Quotes from the movie ‘Bolero’

(1)Shut up, just shut the fuck up. You couple of fuck-ups, you’re totally fucking fucked(2)You sure use profanity a lot. Do you have tourette syndrome? (1)Fuck you! A special sorry to my last boyfriend Carl, who I cheated on 7 times without him knowing. But if he really cared he would’ve seen the...

Jingle Bell Swing. Power War. The toes you step on today may be attached to the ass you’ll be kissing tomorrow. Tough Guy. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Body Count’: Quotes from the movie ‘Body Count’

–When I lose the championship, they’ll have to carry me out. –This gym is full of guys who were carried out. Prize fighting? That’s a sport? What are you gonna do? Kill me? Everybody dies. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Body and Soul’: Quotes from the movie ‘Body and Soul’

#1: I don’t want to blow smoke up your ass. #2: Ohh, what a relief. (Shouting) CAN I HAVE THE REGISTER KEY..SHE DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY?! – I don’t think I was very rude. – Well, then you must be from New York. 1) I like the lights on! 2) Then go home and turn them on. 1) We always say, ‘Hope for...

(1) Pay attention. The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy. But these are new. They look human. Sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot. I had to wait ’til he moved on you before I could zero him. (2) Hey, I’m not stupid y’know. They can’t build anything like that yet. (1) No....

Here’s another good inspirational story: “God Speaks” Billboards Some new billboards are getting attention in Cleveland. Some reported seeing one or two messages, but the newspaper listed all of them. Here’s a list of all variations of the “God Speaks” billboards. The billboards are a simple black...