Innocent English

Here’s another good inspirational story: Christian Math A ten year old public school boy was finding fifth grade math to be the challenge of his life. Science? A piece of cake. Geography? No big deal. Spelling? Ha! Give me a break…but MATH? It was devastating! To not only him, but his mom and dad,...

–Don’t you sometimes hate yourself? –Constantly. –I didn’t know you were planning a comeback. –I hate that word. It’s a return. –They’ll love it in Pomona. –They’ll love it everyplace. –Well, hello, young fella. –Helle, Mr. DeMille. All right, Mr. De Mille. I’m ready for my closeup. And I promise...

#1- I can’t do this, I’m not even a real teacher. #2- Oh, Thats ok, these aren’t real students. (1) I remember you. Where ya been? (2) Bathroom. (1) Six weeks? (2) My zipper got stuck. (1)I may have used poor judgment. (2)You actually used judgment?! (Scream)Sorry. Tension breaker, it had to be...

(1) I wet my bed daddy. (2) No sweetheart. You didn’t wet your bed. You wet their bed. (1)415 Beach Road. (2)That’s right. (1)This house… is 415 Beach Lane. (1)Daddy, can I drive? (2)Yeah, sure, why not? I thought we’d divvy it up a little bit. You can have the second hundred miles. 1. Hi, i’m Jack...

1)I was wondering what was taking you so long to get me. 2)And now that I’ve got you; who is it that I’ve got? 1)You know… 2)No. Why don’t you tell me. Evil is live spelled backwards. EVIL is LIVE spelt backwards i could smell the pussy juice on your lips i want you to go out and kill! kill! KILL!...

(1) What if I cut my left arm off and competed in the Special Olympics? I really want to win a gold medal. (2)…..Pete, I want you to go to the garbage can over there and think about what you just said…That’s mest up, Pete *If U want big rewards u gotta takebig risks* *If you want big rewards, you...

-How’s your Russian? -Still works. Why? -I can’t go on a mission. I only write reports. -Then write a report about it. -I like you. -In that case, so do I. -Really? Let’s see, who else has 27,000 nukes for us to worry about? -It’s the guy with one that I’m worried about. -What’s that man’s T-shirt...

1) Fuck off, Ira. 2)Okay, good enough…… 1) Y’Know what kind of boots these are?….Stingray! 2) So……you got fish boots? 1)So who do we kidnap? 2)Nobody, everyone’ll THINK you’ve got me. 1)Why don’t you drop your gun? 2)’Cause I don’t drop my fuckin gun. 1)Okay. 1)You know any girls like that? 2)All...

Geek Guys: Jack, you know how you and Diane slept together? Jack: Yeah. Geek Guys: well now that you dont sleep together, but you still sleep together, dont you like get super horny? and if so, how horny? i’ll be quite now so i can listen to your answer. Lisa: Yeah Jack i love to hear your answer....

All right. All right. I stand accused of generosity. I’m afraid I’d make a terrible court jester. You see, I worry when people stop wanting to cry. Isn’t that what love is, using people? Maybe that’s what hate is–not being able to use people. It was an one-piece bathing suit. Say something funny....

–But you’re FBI. The Secret Service is responsible for the safety of the President. –We’re using everybody for this trip, Mr. Benson. –You can take my word for it. –I can’t take your word for anything. And I don’t like giving anything away for free. Codeword: Hangover. Ellen, will you stop being a...

-I think it would be wise if the Inspector took some time off. -Are you suspending me, sir? -No, I’m saying you take a vacation until this cools off. -But I’m not up for a vacation. -Callahan, I’m not going to fence with you. Take a few days off. 1) You didn’t think we were just gonna let you walk...

…and there’ll be all these generations of suckers, all trying to figure out what the fuck they’re doing on this fucking planet and it’ll all be full of shit. It’s all so fucking futile. At least I admmit Idon’t know. Idon’t have a fuckin’ message. dont write checks u cant cash I know that things...

i only wanted to screw her we should plant a tree When it rings you know she’s COMING!!! Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Blackrock’: Quotes from the movie ‘Blackrock’

Did you write this? I cannot bear the thought of that man being accused of something I have done. The same gent what called here several times. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Blackmail’: Quotes from the movie ‘Blackmail’

I only make deals with honorable people. Maybe one day….I’ll return for him. He’s my friend, sir. Your friend’s horse is spared. I appear before you, on the behalf of my people to ask you to ride your Black in the race. My Black? To keep him, you must win the race. I see now, that you are his one...

–Lemme guess. You gonna pound my face? –What are you, nuts? This is the ’90s. We’re gonna sue you. Big Trouble-Maker: Do you got any idea what we’re gonna do to you if we find one itty bitty scratch on them? Any idea? Shep: Let me guess, you’re gonna pound my face, break every bone in my body, then...

–Two of your students are in the nurse’s office, talking a lawsuit. –What, is the nurse a lawyer? And they said busing would never work. Everybody works for money. failure is not an option I tried explaning it to you,Claude,but there are some things that just can’t be taught.Shale then jams Rolle’s...

–Are you ready to dance with the devil? –Already have. –We’re submerged. –So am I. Full pardon and hundred thousand each. Let’s take this place! Mind control, Mick. Save the sub! Welcome to Hollywood Squares. You don’t sell big business. You excite them. You too, John Wayne! Page Topic: Movie...