Innocent English

‘your father worked inside the system!’ ‘you mean-‘ ‘yes. Stanely Stupid was a courier for the US goverment!’ (singing)many, many years ago when i was 23, i was married to a widow who was purdy as can be, this widow had a grown up daughter who had hair of red, my father fell in love with her and...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Christian Joke There was this gracious lady mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. “Is there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk. “Only the Ten Commandments,” answered the lady. Page topic: Good...

– 33 feet is nothing Eli……. – It is 22 seconds Henry……in 22 seconds, I could break your fucking spine!! In 22 seconds, I could pinch off your head like a fucking insect and spin it all over the fucking pavement….. In 22 seconds, I could pump 22 bullets inside your ridiculous gut! But what I seem...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Christian Bears A minister was walking through the woods and came face to face with a huge bear. He fell down on his knees and prayed, “Father, please make this bear a Christian!” While he was praying he heard a big “Thud”. He opened his eyes to see the bear...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Christian Alphabet A lthough things are not perfect B ecause of trial or pain C ontinue in thanksgiving D o not begin to blame. E ven when the times are hard F ierce winds are bound to blow G od is forever able H old on to what you know. I magine life...

…seventy-five, eighty, ninety percent of the people in the world don’t like me. No matter what I do. I give my body, I give my soul. And they don’t like me. They have never liked me. Don’t you know who I am? I am Chocolate Chip Charlie. I like the sight of blood but this is disgusting. I will...

Come To Me. Contact. Disco Nights. Don’t Leave Me This Way. Every night I think about staying home..then i come to my senses and give myself a good kick in the ass! Found A Cure. Haven’t Stopped Dancing Yet. Heaven Must Have Sent You. I Got My Mind Made Up. If you dont look good, we dont look good....

-What’s a three letter word for man’s best friend? -Tit? Cher: Go to bed. You have a geography test in the morning. Cher:(to young Frankie Muniz) Dont you walk away from me! hey! you two are stuck together! If it’s for me, tell them I’m not here It’s very simple. Don’t deny. Embrace. u want your...

1) How do i look? 2) Wonderful. We barely recognize you. You look just like a Little. 1) I do? Whew! I was kinda worried i was going to look just like Ben. 1) Snowbell, do you think you could help me? Could you turn this thing off? 2) Why would i turn it off? It’s my favorite show! 1) You haven’t...

The man on the television at three a.m. says you gotta have goals.So I got out a sharpened number two lead pencil and wrote goals at the top of the sheet…..and I couldn’t think of anything to save my ass. 1.YOU! approach the bandstand please.What’s your name? 2.CCCC…CCAAAA..CCCCC….CAREY. Did you...

(1)Go rustle up a new snake. (2)Where? The A & P? Who the fuck carries pythons at 10 o’clock at night?! (1)What do you know about Prozac? (2)Makes you happy. But, there’s side effects. (1)Like what? (2)Limp noodle. (1)Why are you all shiny? (2)It’s Vaseline! (1)Oh ho! Ohhh! It’s Vas . . . great . ....

Am I to understand that you completed the training all by yourself? That’s a fact jack I rarely wear underwear, but when I do it’s something really unusual. ‘Where’s your drill sergeant, men?’ ‘Blown up, Sir.’ (1) Are either one of you two Homosexual? (2) You mean like flaming? (3) No, but we’re...

–How was California? –Sunny. –Sunny? You’ve been out there two years and that’s all you’ve got to say? –The Simpsons are on an hour earlier. –There’s an old Italian saying: don’t burn your tongue on another man’s soup. –Yeah? There’s an old irish saying: don’t listen to old Italian sayings....

Abby and ____, Zeig Heil! All I Wanna Do and Strike! are the titles of this movie but there is also a third one, The Hairy Bird… are u retarted?! depending on where u are the movie was released w/ a diff name! its not uncommon! Boy: Why cant I have you tinka? Tinka:Cos you are lower than dirt! FLAT...

1.) You don’t understand. 2.) I understand. You’ve got your Pan Pacifics to win, and I’m back in beginners where I belong ARMS CLARRY!!!!! I never danced at the Pan-Pacifics Scott! I’ve got my happy face on today Les! There has been a disqualification. Could Scott Hastings and partner please leave...

(1)There’s a girl sleeping on the couch give her some coffie in the morning would yeah. (2)Why she sleeping on the couch? (1)Why don’t you go ask her that. 1)well Ellen’s with me now Cody’s just gonna have to face the fact he’s out of the picture now. 2)yeah right against a big good looking stud...

ADDDDRRRIIIIIIAAAAANNNNN Blanche): I can’t stand a naked light bulb, any more than I can a rude remark or a vulgar action. Mitch): I guess we strike you as being a pretty rough bunch. Blanche): I’m very adaptable to circumstances. Blanche): Tarantula was the name of it! I stayed at a hotel called...

I’m going up river, and I’m going to kick that son-of-bitch Bison’s ass so hard. That the next Bison wanna be is gonna feel it. I’m going up river, and I’m going to kick that son-of-bitch Bison’s ass so hard. That the next Bison wanna be is gonna feel it. Now, who’s going home and who is coming...

Down by the river. Helpless. Judy blue eyes. Our house. Something in the air. Telling them you’ve got an opinion is like telling them you like strawberries. The circle game. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Strawberry Statement, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Strawberry Statement, The’

-I don’t know my way home. -That’s okay. I don’t either. I care. This is where I live. This is me. This is my house. This is where I live. I will not allow violence against this house. No way. Time is a little difficult to find these days. unfuck you Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Straw Dogs’:...