Innocent English

(1) I don’t know how they do it on Deep Space 9, but on the Enterprise we still report to duty on time. (2) Sorry, Sir. (1) We’ll skip the court marshall this time… (1)Our guests have arrived. They’re eating the floral arrangements on the banquet tables. (2)I guess they don’t believe in cocktails...

1)Did we do it?Did we make a difference?… least I could… for the capten of the Enterprise. 1.AND YOU SAID TO COMMANDER RIKER THE CLOWN CAN STAY BUT THE FERENGI IN THE GORILLA SUIT HAS TO GO! 2.DATA THAT WAS SEVEN YEARS AGO 1.I KNOW I JUST GOT IT!, VERY FUNNY! 1.THIS IS NOT YOUR BEDROOM? 2.NO IT IS...

1)How much of your zero-gravity training do you remember, Mr. Worf? 2)I remember it made me sick to my stomach. Assimilate this! Assimulate This! Begin Auto Destruct sequence, authorisation Picard 4 7 Alpha Tango. Computer, Commander Beverly Crusher, confirm auto destruct sequence authorisation...

1.You want to go back? 2.Absolutely not! Chang: ‘Cry Havoc! And let slip the dogs of war.’ Chang: ‘I am constant as the Northern Star.’ McCoy: I’d give real money if he’d shut-up. Chang: ‘Our revels now ended’, Kirk. Chang: ‘Parting is such sweet sorror.’ Hmmm, (chuckles) Captain? Have we not heard...

1) Still think we’re finished? 2) More than ever!! 1) They’re animals. 2) (1), there is an historic opportunity here. 1) Don’t believe them! Don’t trust them! 2) They’re dying. 2) Let them die! 1) To be or not to be – that is the question which preoccupies our people, Captain Kirk. We need...

1) ..it needs it’s Capitan. It needs James. T. Kirk. 2) Oh please. 1. Admit it! We’re lost! 2. Alright, we’re lost. But, we’re making good time! Bones: if your really mad at him, why not throw him in the brig? Consider yourselves my prisoners. Excuse me? What does God need with a Starship?! I don’t...

1) And you needn’t worry. I’ll brief your new counselor on everything she needs to know. 2) Like hell you will! You already know too much about me. 1)What do you think, Data, smooth as an android’s bottom? [2) places a hand on 1)’s chin, then grins and shakes his head no.] 1: Do you think this is a...

1) My God man. Do you want an acute case on your hands? This woman has immediate post-parandial, upper-abdominal distention. 2) What did you say she has? 1) Cramps. 1) Yes. 2) No. 1) Yes. 2) No. 1) Yes. I love Italian. And so do you. 2) Yes. 1) Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It...

Here’s another good inspirational story: A Preacher’s Dying Wish An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his doctor and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room the preacher held out his hands and...

Here’s another good inspirational story: A Little Boy’s Prayer “Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we’re gonna be in a big mess.” Page topic: Good inspirational...

Here’s another good inspirational story: A Child’s ABC’s A grandfather overheard his granddaughter repeating the alphabet in reverent, hushed tones. “What are you doing?” he asked. “I’m praying, Grandpa,” she said. “I can’t think of the right words, so I just say all the letters. God will put them...

(1)A chimpanzee and two trainees could run her. (2)Thank you Mr Scott. I’ll try not to take that personally. (1)How much and how soon? (2)How soon is Now. How much is Where. (1)What will it be? (2)Altair water. (1)That’s not your usual poison. (2)To expect one to order poison in a bar is not...

As long as you’re having fun with it, otherwise, I’d get rid of it. Evergreen. Here’s what I’m here for. His work is affecting his drinking I believe in love. I’d rather believe that tastes change, like eyebrows. But I also think that also like eyebrows, tastes are going back to natural. It’s a...

-Aram says this and aram says that will you stop with the fucking aram!? -aram is a very nice man -ah shit, they’re all nice to you, everybody is wonderful, mr hefner is wonderful, the whole fucking world is wonderful to you. Well FUCK aram!!!….or maybe you have already? …Or even in the airport,...

It’s like God gave ya somethin, man–all those stories you can make up. And he said this is what we got for ya, kid, try not to lose it. But kids lose EVERYTHING unless there’s someone there to look out for them. And if your parents are to fucked up to do it, than maybe I should! #1: So Whats with...

–Are your friends auditing? –I audited them to come with me. . . . his body is decomposing in my locker. 1) Hey Kimo aren’t you proud of me, I’m the first one here? What’s Cal-cu-lus? 1.Hey Kimo sabe todo the man knows everything. Kimosabe! 2.Orale! A negative times a negative equals a postitive....

*What were you doing when the Japs attach Peral Harbor? I WAS EATING DINNER! *That’s right you were eating dinner, because they were eating dinner….in BERLIN! In Cleveland they were haven LUNCH! –I don’t like you. I never did and i never will. –A lot of people say that, and the first thing you know...

-To protect and to serve. -Ooo, I love my job. I love it so much! 1/*They’re dusting off the hotseat for me* 2/ ummmm Lee J Cobb….. 1/ What movie?? 2/ *ON THE WATERFRONT* 1/ ok! ok! ummm *This is no boating accident*!!! 2/ No idea 1/ You are so hopeless at this!!! 313 pounds?! Oh my God, she could...

#1- But you’ve got a doctor on board. #2- Doc Holiday? #1- If he’s the only one you got, then he’s the best you got. #2- Doc Holiday is a dentist, I don’t know too many women that want to have their babies delivered by a dentist. #1- I don’t know any. #1- Hey Doc you know anything about...

(M): Bond, what do you think you’re doing? (007): Keeping the British end up, Sir. –You did save my life. –We all make mistakes, Mr. Bond. 1.)James I need you.2.)So does England. All those father’s and he still can’t fly All those feathers and he still can’t fly. Egyptian builders. He just dropped...