Innocent English

Here’s another good inspirational story: The Power of Prayer Father, I ask you to bless my friends reading this right now. Lord, show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace &...

–What do you do? –I sell pot. –You dropped out of high school? –It was an option. I wanted to join the workforce. –You mean I was your first? –Yeah. 1)AHH! oh GROSS! They left a chicken in the oven! 2)That’s no chicken, that’s their cat… simon… 3)*name* put simon down! I told you, it’s a building...

(Boys watching the girls dance) Jeff: I didn’t know girls did this sort of thing!! T.J: That’s cos we’re dead and this is heaven!! (Killer pops up in the back seat of Jeff’s car with a red flower behind his ear!!) Driller Killer: this is dedicated to the one I love (drills Jeff through his chest)...

Get a life! i like to watch people fucking……HARD Maybe you two use the same spermicide. The most wonderful girl. You like to watch!!!!??? WATCH THIS!!!!!!!! You smell so good… You smell like roses. Your panties, show me your panties. Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Sliver’: Quotes from the movie...

I reckon what you’d wantin’ to know is what I’ma doin’ in here. I reckon the reason I’m in here cause I killed somebody. Mm-hmm. But I reckon that you’d wantin’ to know is how come he killed somebody. So I reckon I’ll start at the front. Mm-hmm. 1) These darn things are heavy. Hard to carry, too....

#1 Have you gone completely insane? What are you trying to do? #2 What do you mean what am I trying to do? #1 Lydia, I’m on the pissing phone to Helen #1-Do you want my opinion? #2-Will I like it? #1-Of course not, it’ll be based in reality. #1: Cheer up, love. You know what the Monty Python boys...

1/ So, I understand you want to sleep with my wife… 2/ With your permission, of course Andrew, don’t forget. Be sure and tell them it was just a game. Gather yee blunt instruments while yee may! Just One Of These Things. Tell them it was only a game. whatever are you doing with that cue in your...

(1)did u move the body (2)yes we moved the body (1) YOU MUST NEVER MOVE THE BODY (2) but why (1) Because (while looking at the headless corpse) 1)Did this man have any enemies? 2)Well SOMEONE didn’t like him! 1) *gasp* 2) It’s just a spider 1) Kill it , kill it..no..no STUN IT! 2) There’s something...

1) BLUE! BLUE! You know what that means? 2) Our house is having a boy? Bite me….I can dance Check it, he’s letting in the pleathers. Go be a teenager, it ends to soon, and it gets replaced by ribbons and lamp shades. hi im guy…yes you are a guy quite a guy oh my that rhymes…yikes … bikes (laughes)...

KEITH It is easier to be killed by a terrorist after the age of 40 than it is to get married — ANNIE That is not true. That statistic is not true. BECKY It’s not true, but it feels true. Keith It feels true because it is true. If someone is a widower, why do they say he was widowed? Why don’t they...

–I don’t know how to feel what I’m feeling when I don’t even know your name. –People never really know each other. 1) You’re not suggesting I enjoyed that, are you? 2) Oh, God, no. That would make you a monster. Brown-eyed girl. I can’t live without you and I won’t let you live without me. I wont...

*gets thrown from horse and into water* no carrots…. …and just before we say goodbye he takes me in his arms, and then, I wake up 1) Blue! 2) Pink! 1) BLUE! 2) PINK! 1) BLUE! 2) PINK!!! 1) It looks awful! 2) That’s because it’s on you, dear! 1) One tsp? 2) One teaspoon. 1) Oh yes of course! One...

(1) You really seem to like the book ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’. (2) It’s my favorite. I like it more since I’ve been in here. (1) Why is that? (2)It’s like, he wouldn’t let anyone beat him, the Count. Took what he had to take, beating, insults, whatever. And he learned from it. Then when the time...

–It’s hard to believe that you haven’t had sex for 200 years. –204, if you count my marriage. –Miles, do you know that ‘God’ spelled backwards is ‘dog’? –So? –It makes you think. –So, then what do you believe in? –Sex and death. Two things that come once in a lifetime. But at least after death you...

1)Eat shit and die, Ricky. 2) Eat shit and live, Bill. Chicken Shit! EAT SHIT AND DIE, RICKY!!!! Fresh chicken! good old mom is at it again Here are your physicals! Now don’t tell anyone how you got them. Now I’m afraid they wouldnt approve at all. Hey bob-a-re-bob, hey hey bob-a-re-bob. Hurry or...

And now, by the power vested in me, I declare this rehearsal over. And Amen. Did I ever tell you what my middle name was? I can hardly wait till we’re married – I never have to have sex with you again. I can’t believe I have to face a class of 8-year-olds tomorrow. I know I’ve teased you both about...

Stevo: But this fall was going to be the fall alright. Bob and the rest of us had made a note to do absolutely nothing. We were going to waste our educated minds–we had no other way of fighting. As I said, there just weren’t enough of us. * The Fight: What does it mean and where does it come from?...

Do you ever think of yourself as the sleeping beauty of a castle waiting for a prince to awaken you with a kiss? I’m going to have to watch you from now on. You might just decide to cut off my other leg. Mr. Yankee, there was enough iron in your leg to shoe a horse! Page Topic: Movie Quotes from...

Domino:(Talking about Slappy’s home.) He could die in there. Witz:(As Slappy passes gas) Yeah, right, he can fart himself to death! Loaf: Uhh, can I get up now? My face is in his butt! Sonny: No keep it there. Don’t move. Loaf: Why do I always get stuck with the butt? Domino: ‘Cause you don’t MOVE...