Innocent English

(1)Dave’s a killer. (2)Dave’s a mess. (French accent)—Icing ‘appen when de puck come down….BANG…before de udder guy….nobody der…(you know)….my harm go come ca…den de game stop den start up.–DENIS LEMIEUX (Reggie Dunlop to the team) We’ve gott a lotta losses. 2. (Hansons sreaming) YEAH THAT’S RIGHT...

Here’s another good inspirational story: The Power of Encouragement Dante Gabriel Rossetti, the famous 19th-century poet and artist, was once approached by an elderly man. The old fellow had some sketches and drawings that he wanted Rossetti to look at and tell him if they were any good, or if they...

Here’s another good inspirational story: Smile A smile changed my life today A simple gesture, in the sweetest way I was feeling kind of down But a smile wiped away my frown I never thought a simple thing Could change the whole way that I think I saw the joy in that persons face It was like God...

Here’s another good inspirational story: My True Best Friend I couldn’t believe I was here… I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I just stared there looking at my Best friend of 5 years, laying in a casket. She died on Halloween 1996. She had just turned 16. I didn’t know it then but it was...

(singing) I-I-I-I’m the kind of guy who will/ Not insist that you go on the pill. …and sam, sam learnt a lesson of his own. he learnt how to print fake diplomas 1) I have to go to the bathroom. 2) Okay- that’s not allowed during the test. 1) I really have to go. 2) I’ll tell you what, why don’t you...

Conspiracy A-Go-Go I may live badly. But at least I don’t have to work to do it. Having a Breakthrough Day (Denise Montgomery): I feel like I’ve had a total recalibration of my mind, you know? I mean, it’s like, I’ve been banging my head against this 19th century type, um, what? Thought mode?...

A: What if I told you it’s not just her twin, it’s her EVIL twin?B: This Friday, you say?A: Medulla, you dog! Car Not even a swarm of guines pigs? – Nope – SIDEKICK – Bite Me! The cafeteria has requested that the sidekicks stop ordering hero sandwiches. There’s only one person authorized to...

Ames Levbitt: So Caleb, what are your plans? Caleb: I’m just treading water. Waiting to see what happens. Litten Mandrake: Then your arms must be getting tired? Caleb: They are dad, because you keep throwing me toward the deep end of the pool. Caleb : So what did you say your name was? Lucas : Luke...

I will take you there. Stop! We are not through! And before you skidoo, we’d like to introduce our cast and crew. That’s why the establishment cats aren’t making it. They’re into that nine-to-five bag. The only three great Americans are Washington, Lincoln … and me! The results of our anti-ugliness...

Cake is good. Dave buys the farm. It’s been real, but all good things must come to an end. Let’s hear it for ski school! Pain is temporary, glory lasts forever! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! Skiing is a very dangerous sport. What do you say we go to this wedding in style, in my...

–We party here. –We party now. …and the only thing holding us back is gravity. Interested? She’s not….but YOU are. Carrot? Dave: Gyrate, gyrate, gyrate motion… Dave: OK, you may be able to disqualify us… but you cannot stop us from doing…. the lambada… Ed: Thats the forbidden dance. Ed, you get...

– De profundis clamo ad te domine.. – Do all your soldiers speak latin? – Only this one. 1) Can I tell you my secret now? 2) Yes. 1) I see dead people. 1) Please make them leave. 2) I’m working on it. 1) You know the accident up ahead? 2) Yeah? 1) The lady-she broke her neck. 2) Oh my God, where is...

BUT I HAD HIM WITH THE ANTWOINE LOOK AWAY!!! (in bathroom,man overhears Kenny talking as he pisses) Kenny: I can’t have you always poppin’ up to play! Man: I have that same problem Kenny: Oh, trust me, my problem’s a lot bigger than yours. 1)I’m trying to keep a low profile. 2)A low profile? Negro,...

#1 Can I ask you a personal question? #2 Yes, you are a total fag! #1 What’s your first name? #2 Long #1 What’s your last name? #2 Dong… #1 What’s your middle name? #2 Duck #1-What’s your last name? #2-Dong #1-What’s your first name? #2-Long #1-What’s your middle name? #2-Duck. #1; Dat you? 2:...

1)If i were you i’d run. 2)If you were me you’d be good lookin. 1)Well, that’s not nice. GET HIM!! 1: Who are you? 2: Death. 1: Cool. Don’t ever touch my guitar, man. Flutter away, little butterfly. Just flutter away. Follow the yellow brick road, homey. If I were you I’d run! If you were me…you’d...

Don’t think about elephants. Every moment in life is a learning experience. Every person is a new door to a different world. I am black. Tess: I will not be part of this conspiracy! Flan: It’s not a conspiracy, it’s a family! That’s your problem in a nutshell: you’re so limited. That’sd your...

(he) Want to go to my place? (she) Have you got a bed? (he)Your ass is to narrow and your tits are to small. (she) My ass is just fine. 1) Cant you put it back together? 2) Yeah we’ll like glue it Back on! 1) I was trying to signal the goddamn plane! 2) What goddamn plane? 1) THAT goddamn plane! 2)...

being happy isn’t about having everything in your life perfect. maybe it’s about stringing together all the little things. Bridget: God, don’t you love to run? Eric: Yeah, it’s the best high you can have. Bridget: Exactally! It’s like you just in this place where nothing bad can happen, you know....

1) Teach them to play….soccer! 2) We don’t have the balls for that! 1)Give us back our consent form! 2)Stop that! 1. Hey Father Thomas, what’s happening? 2. Well, what’s happening is I’ve been sent to give you a message like I work for Western Union instead of the Roman Catholic Church. 1. Don’t...

-Oh, oh my. What are you people a pritican order this stuff is terrible, it tastes like sh.. -Sisters. We shall spend the rest of this day in silence. -Well, why? -Only when are lips are silent will our prayers truly be answered. -Then we dont have to eat this food. -Silence begins now! Ends at...